A STORY OF RECONNECTION IN A DISCONNECTED WORLD – part 1 of 4

This picture?

I’ll explain shortly

But I wanted to address something I’d been feeling lately and what I did to address it

I had felt – for want of a better word – ‘disconnected’ from who I am

I love what I do
I have a great job
I’ve worked hard and am truly grateful for what I have

It’s been hard to put a finger on

In fact I’ve struggled to figure out why I wasn’t feeling much of anything

I felt (outside of what I’ve been doing with my focussed work in EWD and with 121 clients) I’d been lacking ‘something’

The energy I usually have in my posts and creativity and sheer drive seemed a bit muffled

Toned down

‘Power saving mode’

So I decided to take a trip back to reconnect with my past and see what came up

Today (Wednesday) I was in london; meeting some clients and contacts

– a great day –

But there was another agenda

I wanted to go back to where it all began…

And the story I’m going to share over the next few days will be raw and honest and open and – I hope – will be useful to many of you

Anyways this picture

The top one is a place called Hoxton Square and it’s where I lived towards the back end of 2007

The bottom was the ABN AMRO (think became RBS) on Liverpool Street

That was my office I’m pointing at

(Pretty baller eh?)

We had a floor there when we set up a headhunting firm and landed prime real estate in the square mile

I came to london with high hopes

The business was set up with – at the time – a close friend and biz associate

We landed a HUGE client and honestly? We were crushing it

Crazy deals and numbers we didn’t expect

We lived for a while in Mayfair…

Ate out at the best restaurants every night…

Dressed in fancy suits and bespoke shoes…

I thought I had made it

Stressful?

Yes – very

But I finally thought I was someone

I had the business card
The address (Hoxton was ‘the’ place to live)
I felt like I was actually worthwhile as a human

Then one day – over a misunderstanding – it was all take from me

Overnight
Poof
Gone

Do not pass go
Do not collect £200

Ya know how I found out?

I swiped my key card for the building (the building not the office) and it didn’t work

I asked security to let me in

‘Sorry Mr Meredith, you are no longer on the list’

Eh? I thought

So I called up

Safe to say it wasn’t a good conversation; not only was it just before payday what little I had in my current account was demanded back

So there I am

On my own

Fucking terrified

I had no idea what the Fuck to do; I had £22 to my name which was in my pocket

Literally that’s all I had

My identity
My worth
My ‘value’

Everything I had worked towards was ripped out of my hands and I was left with nothing

This was one of the lowest points in my life at the time

I truly contemplated ending my life as I get like I was a worthless piece of shit; a totally failure

….Look at Dan – so much potential – and he fucked it

…Fucking Loser…

…No wonder you failed…

…who the fuck do you think you are to think you could ever make it…

…you’re nobody…

^^^ phrases like that went over and over in my head and I went into a darkness I didn’t think I’d get out of

But I did

And in the upcoming weeks I learned some of the most valuable lessons life has ever taught me

And the 90 mins I spent in my own head walking – literally – through my memories gave me some powerful insights into both business and life

But that’s for Thursday

If you would like to follow along with this story?

Leave me a comment below so I can notify you tomorrow

In life it’s common to question who we are, what our worth is, do we make a difference and what’s our purpose in life

– I know I did at the time –

Lately though I knew was searching for ‘something’

And when I found what I needed?

It took me a little by surprise…

The tune in for part #2