Why being CRUEL can be KIND
by DanM in Blog Post No Comments
How by blocking a struggling mother of 3 created a 6 figure empire, and why *sometimes* being brutal is the best thing for your clients
^^^ how much of an asshole do I sound eh?
But its true, at the height of when she was up against the most stress…
The most change…
The most challenging time of her fledging business career…
I blocked Shelley Roe
Well, let me explain
Shelley was one of the first people (along with Ollie) who I coached when online – as in ever
So, my ‘firsts’ tend to hold a bit of a soft spot for my clients and Shelly and me had become very good friends.
But there was a problem, the problem was that Shelley had reached a level of success with me (from barely having enough to get the mortgage paid, looking after 3 kids, trying to make ends meet in the gym and with her meal plans and hand made treats/nutrition) – to having more money than she ever thought she would have
With clients all over the country, money SAVED for the first time, fully able to afford OUTRIGHT Christmas presents for her little ones she relied heavily on me
And, as (what I thought) was good coaching?
I allowed it
I allow it for a long time – long after we had *officially* ended our formal working arrangement
When is when I had to the hardest thing I have ever done
I cut the strings
Blocked the chats
And left her to stand on her own two feet
Now, before you thing ‘c*nt’ this has been done to me before, my mentor did this to me – and with HINDSIGHT (as Shelley now agrees) it is THE best thing to of happened to me, and Shelley
Because sometimes we lean on people TOO much:
Yet what we REALLY needed to do – the thing that will help us grow the most?
Is to stand on our own two feet
Assume the mantle of leader
Stop relying on others
And define out own success, our own reality, our own future and STOP relying on others for validation, happiness or financial gains
Like it as for me, Shelley had a few weeks of fear, unsure footing and a little rudderless
(this was EXACTLY how I felt btw)
But then something amazing happened…..she found her footing, she ‘stood up’ and she took action – which was (and trust me, i fucking HATED doing this) exactly what I wanted her to do
Being a coach is not all sunshine and rainbows
Sometimes you have to do something so fucking hard that it tears you up inside, you have to have the conversation that someone needs to hear but will – briefly – crush them, to give people the cold hard facts that they need to hear to be able to affect the following changes they have always wanted in their life
But sometimes you – as a coach (and your client) have to suffer for period to grow
In this case?
I am safe to say she did
After our little hiatus she has come back into my world, a little driven by spite (as I say in my book its a HELL of a motivator with not only a solid 6-figure business, but 3 staff, a national delivery network AND her own kitchen and shop – supplying the Olympic olympic athletes, trainers, bodybuilders and those looking for healthy ways to lose weight with taste
Its safe to say www.noexcusesnutriton.co.uk is the fucking tits now
See, sometimes being an asshole is the best thing you can be
I just wanted to give Shelley a massive public shout out as a true, proper, put-the-fucking-work-in, did-as-i-fucking-said success story
No body believed in her before me
But she needed to believe in herself
Now she does
In fact, after this – she got a tattoo:
‘she believed she could, so she did’
And fuck me she did!
Out of the dark light does come, and as a coach its up to you to use the tools at your disposal
Whatever is needed to get the job done, sometimes it hurts – but in the end – if its what they need? Then you do it
Congrats you scouse fucker, we have sorted the business….now lets sort that hair do eh? 🙂
Dan ‘strategic arsehole’ Meredith
P.S. Will you look at the fucking traps on her! I did all the above risking a kicking and a half I tell you!
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