What goes on in our heads impacts EVERYTHING
You can’t escape your own head.
Believe me, I’ve tried
The ONLY thing you can do is work with what you’ve got so that it fires you up instead of bringing you down and getting stuck in the cycle overwhelm, procrastination, limiting beliefs and self-sabotage.
First thing I’ve gotta say is no fucker is immune to this.
Not that motivational coach with the perfect life and a perma-smile
Being a human – it’s hard work.
Just because normal everyday existence of being a human isn’t punishment enough.
Some of us decide to become entrepreneurs
Crazy hours. Check.
Hard to connect with people not like us. Check
Opening ourselves up to massive critisism. Check
No guarentee of income. Check.
Daily battles with value and self-worth. Check
The list goes on.
No wonder most of us are tapped in the head.
Depression, ADHD, bipolar, suicidal feelings and more all effect a higher number of entrepreneurs than they do the general public.
That’s a fact.
If you’re going through things – know you are not alone.
Even at the lighter end of the scale
Stuff comes up.
We hold ourselfs back.
We worry about what other people are going to think
We self sabotage every time we get close to our goals
The greatest tool we have – our brains
Is the one thing that truly works against us to stop us progressing.
With that in mind – here’s a few of my top tips for taking control of your mindset
1 The power of the braindump
As I say, what is in our heads is what holds us back.
More often than not, we get so preoccupied with life and business that these thoughts start to fester away in the background without us giving all that much thought to them until they turn into massive monsters that blight up with procrastination, overwhelm, fear and more.
The first thing you need to do to tackle mindset issues is to get them out of your head and know what you’re actually dealing with
Regularly keep your head clear of all the junk and crap it picks up along the way.
You do this, with brain dum
Some benefits of doing regular brain dumps?
I’ve had some epic ideas because (for me) I actually am present with my own mind
That and the looped music helps ‘distract’ my brain and my subconscious can do its own thang
2. Problem solving
Similar to above – I’ve been able to come up with:
– copy hooks
– solutions to business and personal problems
– rationalise relationships (stick or twist)
It’s been very useful
3. Less rage/generally a bit nicer
I’m simple less angry
Don’t tend to go from 0-100 much
As a rule calm
– for anyone who has followed me for a while, this is novel eh –
4. Less stressed/sleep better
I go to bed kinda ‘empty headed’ now and as someone who’s mind NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP….sleep has been a bugger
Less so now
Here’s how it’s done…
1. Do a FULL brain dump BEFORE you switch off, get that shit out of your head and LEAVE IT
2. If you have a problem or something you need clarity on? Write it on a piece of paper to take with you – look at it at points
3. Either NO phone or on airplay mode
4. Have either a looped song, movie score or something like natural sounds (I like thunderstorms) on music
5. Take a book – paper one – with you that inspires you or is of interest; something you WANT to read as opposed to HAVE to read
6. Go buy a a pen and notepad, and a bottle of water (clarity dehydrated is nigh on impossible) and take em with you; any ideas that come up and
WRITE THEM DOWN
Not on your phone, go analogue
Then either a) go to a location where you don’t speak to anyone (coffee shop or train as example) or get yo ass into nature
Or be a massive tart like me and spa like fuck
2. Knowing when to go #ballsdeep & knowing when it’s time to pull back
As I say – entrepreneurs are a special bunch
We will give it all we’ve got and then some on top
And what happens is we will keep going and going and going until we break.
And when we start to break we keep pushing harder to punish ourselves and catch up.
It takes some time to learn to recognise the signs.
I have broken myself plenty of times in the past
I’ll see shifts in how I’m working, how I show up and the content that I put out.
Over time I go from full on content machine to full on sillyness and everywhere in between.
And by learning what makes Dan tick, I’ve come to see where I need to ease back, take a change of scene, mix some more fun stuff in my life if it’s gone a bit work heavy.
This is something I can’t give you an exact image of because it loooks a little different for each of us.
Here are a few signs to watch out for that give a hint it might be time to pull back and change things up before you burn out
– You content gets massively serious and dry OR you can’t do serious content and it’s all fun stuff
– You’ve stopped things like going to the gym and date nights because you’re constantly busy
– Your sleep pattern has shifted and you’re suddenly crashing early or waking up in the middle of the night
– You’ve been doing lots of videos, webinars and lives till now but you just can’t face hitting the button
– You’re suddenly eating everything…or nothing
As I say, how this shows up is individual.
If those come up, evaluate what you’ve got going on and how you can mix things up before you take yourself down.
And if you do go down – take a think back to how you were working and if any sign showed up so you can add them to your personal list of red flags
3 A taste of wealth
5-star luxury, first class service and a workin environment that primes you for success for under £10?!
I’m a huge fan of changing your environment to suit your needs
Let’s face it, working in your boxers on the sofa it’s sometimes hard to get your head into the right mindset
Now this was taught to me by the ever glorious Dexter Abraham – think about it like this
If you want to be productive – wouldn’t it make sense to work somewhere where people are cracking on with work?
If you want to be creative – wouldn’t it make sense to be in a space where you are inspired by what you see and hear?
If you want to be wealthy and successful – again wouldn’t it make sense to surround yourself around wealthy and successful people (and in an environment befitting?!)
I have worked in art galleries, come working spaces, looking out to sea you name it
But when I need to get my head into business mode?
I simply find a 5-star hotel (and I find dressing smarter helps me get my head in gear too) and set up shop in the hotel bar or lobby
All you need to do is buy a coffee and you get snacks, peace and quiet, wifi and your are around business folk who – like you – are getting business shit done
What it does is it gives you a taster of luxury that you don’t normally experience in your day to day life.
Your barometer for what is possible is set currently wherever it’s at.
Your surroundings, upbringing and life experiences will all have an impact.
By elevating your surroundings with little simple luxuries, you start to tweak that barometer bit by bit.
You start seeing the kind of life that could actually be possible.
And as a little bonus – you could make some connections whilst you’re there that can open serious doors.
4 Just say “Fuck it!”
Now you know I love fight club right? That book and film were responsible for some of the biggest mindset shifts (yes I hate myself for writing that!) I have had as a man
One of my fave scenes?
The one with the shop clerk – where he took his licence, held a gun to his head, and told him if he don’t actually make the changes and did the one thing he wanted to do with his life?
He would come back and
no more life to live
So back to the exercise; if you had to change, and you had 30 days to do it, and my ass is physically coming for you at he end of the 30 days
What would you actually change?
Come on – show some fucking balls/ovaries: what are you unhappy with in your life RIGHT NOW
what are you going to do to change it?
Or, are you going to be one of those people that pussyfoot brought life blame everyone else for their problems instead of taking ownership and fixing shit
So much of what we are taught from school onwards is about what we CAN’T do
And it’s taken me a long time to ditch that mode of thinking and simply saying ‘fuck it’ and doing more stuff I want to do, with the people I want to do it with, when I want to do it with…
For those of you that know my story or how this group started
It was never – ever – supposed to be a thing
But now it is
It’s a ‘thing’ that helps 1000’s of pekoe every day and that’s fucking awesome – but that’s a result of me saying ‘fuck it’
Going after what you want in life when you have been conditioned by education, society, peers – whatever – IS hard
Maybe I’m not so smart because I just do stuff; I don’t let my brain talk me out of shit
Sure, I **could** think more, but every time I thought too much?
I never ended up doing the thing and regretted it as a result
Yes of course my ‘act first, ask questions later’ attitude had caused problems time to time
But more often then not?
When I just DO, things get good
Case in point, the when we recently opened ‘Espresso With Dan’
There has been a good few handfuls of people who have reached out the very same week they joined wishing they had done this not months, but YEARS ago
Think how much further they would be ahead if they had just gone for it?
We all rationalise things in our own head
Thinking about the what ifs
Whereas most of us?
Should – more often than not – go #ballsdeep into the ‘fuck it’ zone, ESPECIALLY if they have been stagnant for a period of time
Anyways I wanted to share this, because I took control of my life at 33 – 5 years ago – and only if I’m being TRULY honest with you have I lived it 100% on MY terms – MY rules – MY life for the last 18 months or so
When you stop giving a fuck about what people think and start doing what YOU want to support YOUR life
You will be amazed how fucking brilliant most days are
5 Use the negative to create positive
Negatives have and will come up for you.
They are going to come up again and again.
There’s not a fat lot you can do about them occurring.
How you handle them and what you do next IS under your control
Now you are going to be in one of 2 places right now.
You need a serious kick up your arse to make you shit or get off the pot
This world ISNT for everyone
You want to make it?
You fed up of excuses?
You sick of being poor as piss?!
Sometimes it’s time to say ENOUGH and go all out
G = a fiery hour of teaching you to get some balls/ovaries. This will be ferocious. Because it fucking should be – I expect 20-50% of you that join NOT to come back as I will not hold back – and some folks can’t take that
R = resistance &resilience – how to overcome one and develop the other. I will show you how to understand the shite you tell yourself is killing your progress, and how to develop mental ‘toughness’
I = influencee; attain it, from it, use it – leverage it. You got skills or talent? If no one knows that means fuck all. I’ll walk you through how I do what I do
T = tenacity; a practical ‘how to’ day to day to man/lady the fuck up, keep going and actually make something of your life. This is the nuts and bolts – what you do every day to make it beats any fancy tactic or funnel – I’ll fucking win as I won’t quit. You need to be like this
4 Hours of brutality using the full power of “pre-zen Dan”
When this series was created, it was recorded live over the space of a week.
And in that one week – lives were changed.
People finally stepped up and started doing the things they knew they needed to do.
They stuck a finger up to their limiting beliefs and did the work that had terrified them.
They dropped the poisonous snakes in their life that were draining every ounce of life out of them.
They sent those emails. Made those calls. Had those conversations.
And when they did?
They got results.
Opened doors to huge opportunities
Had their biggest month in business…ever!
And wondered why the hell they’d been holding back so long.
If this is speaking to where you’re at right now and you are DONE with repeating the same shitty cycles day after day.
Click the link below and go pick up your copy of GRIT
Scenario #2 – When you’re good you’re great but it only takes one thing to knock you right the way back.
In that case, you don’t require quite such a brutal ass kicking
What you need is a toolbox of strategies you can pull out at a moments notice when when some of the darker thoughts and emotions appear
Will all raise their heads sooner or later
Something will happen in your life.
A run of bad luck
A relationship breakdown
Losing a major client
Seeing the epic lives other people are living through the window of social media wondering why you can’t have that.
And if you don’t have the tools to turn that negative on its head – it can consume you
Taking all the fight out of you bit by bit.
That’s why, a few weeks back after running the free rage to riches challenge (which for a free challenge created some ridiculous results for people)
I decided it was time to go balls deep into harnessing the darkness and launched GRIT:Red
Taking on each of those negative feelings one by one – I dove DEEP into why they come up and provided simple actionable strategies for dealing with them when they do.
Those who’ve been through the training have left with a toolbox they can dive into whenever they need it – whatever life throws at them.
Now it’s your turn, if your so inclined
To get hold of that toolbox yourself, all you need to do is click this link https://coffeewithdan.com/rededition