1 Apr

Giving Less Fucks, Leads to MORE Fucks…

by DanM in Blog Post No Comments

I’m going to give you a very simple, but hugely powerful piece of business and life advice:

Neediness? Is THE biggest turn off. EVER.

(And this is linked to my Q about confidence earlier and covered this in 2017)

Now, before I go #ballsdeep into this topic, I want to make a clarity between tenacity and neediness

Tenacity is a trait I happily posses in spades. No arrogance, I am tenacious – I follow up, I close, I get knocked back (after some micro self-bitching) and I’m back on it again

As a rule? If there is something I truly want – I will (eventually) get it in a business and often life sense

(You have to be careful AF nowadays but am safe due to #clamnesty lol)

This, was not always this way but was forged from tens of thousands of failed attempts, phones put down on me, emails ignored, letters but in the bin and so on and so forth


Is when you HOUND someone for the close, when you send multiple messages because you haven’t got an answer, when you simple NEED the sale/close

Same in personal life; I know this though painful experience and until I understood and studied psychology and persuasion to the levels I have now

I had NO idea that my actions were coming across as ‘needy’

If you are selling a product, a service or yourself – if you act needy (no matter how good what you are selling is); I would comfortably bet on you having lost the ‘sale’

Even if you are down to the last penny you have, And that one deal would pay off your bills and feed you – you need to come from a position of strength

If your product or service can help someone, then YOU have the upper hand

Yes, they have the money but you have the solution to their pain

Case in point:

Back in my PT days when I started I used a paper diary – and I would block out times and dates for that week with names (of my friends and I would call them – often mum ha – but still ‘real’ I would bugger off to speak to them)

I was NEVER available there and then no matter how much they wanted me

My friend Phil consistently trolls this fucking idiot who runs an webinar add for working 20 minutes a week from a yacht in space (or some bollocks) yet he has 10+ call slots every day

My webinars? Free and pretty much all of them NO pitch – there’s no recordings – no matter your story you don’t get one unless you are in ‘Espresso With Dan’ (EWD)

My coaching and EWD (outside of openings) – you either have to pitch me or make a donation to a charity i patronage AND I have to like you; but you get in when I say so – not the other way around

– it’s not being a dick it’s just knowing my worth –

I personally am hugely respectful, mindful and grateful for anyone that invests in me – but I don’t NEED it; what you see ‘coffee with dan’ land accounts for about 30-40% of my ‘world’

But even when I was a poor as piss PT, fledging consultant, new gym owner, wet-behind-the-ears headhunter – whatever I ALWAYS portrayed the fact I didn’t NEED your custom

Of course, I welcomed it – but I knew what I had was the answer to your problems

Someone walks away? No dramas

If you’re pitching someone; you need to position yourself as the expert and that by them NOT speaking to you it’s a mistake

When you piss and moan that people don’t follow up your calls, ignore your messages, leave voicemail that get ignored

You look like a little mingebag

(And That is my word of the week and I’m 100% going to use it loads lol)

If that happens a LOT – getting rejected or ignored consistently? Then my advice is as follows:

  • go #ballsdeep I did street business ‘game’, cold calls, cold emails, cold pitches. It Toughened me up and removed that ‘needy’ side
  • study human persuasion; learn how verbal and body language can influence people
  • buy all of Cialdini’s books. Read. Apply daily
  • practice; I always try this out in real life – with everyone I meet; make it a game to see what you can get/do. Strike up conversations
  • improve your social proof – write a book, start a podcast, get on stage (a killer); create content and become an expert by being ACTUALLY good at something
  • improve how you look; drop some weight, dress better, workout, get a tan, get a nice, sort your hair/skin out. You will be judged no matter what – so why not stack the deck in your favour?

Anyways, little bit of advice – hope was useful

From a friend of mine who the ladies seem to love – and he is at best ‘unique’ looking (and this applies to business too)

You would never think it, but giving less fucks leads to more fucks

(For me the next step is to be bothered…🤣)


Confidence isn’t something I was born with

Daily progress…

Incremental gains…





Repeat until success



Wirte, Blogger, Entrepreneur.

how to be f*cking awesome




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