The Harsh Reality
Was speaking with my friend Justin Devonshire who on a call with a client of his, discussed the harsh reality of what we do as entrepreneurs.
We have some very experienced people here in the group and equally some very new and ‘green’ folks to this world.
It is NOT for everyone.
You see all the books, the courses, the digital ‘high fives’ from those who are making it work.
But we hear less from those who isn’t.
It’s all too easy to look at people who are already making it, and even though you hear their back stories, the struggles they have gone through to get where they are now:
When you have no money to pay the bills, you spend every second of your day working where the next pay check will come from, paralyzed by fear and you feel like giving up?
Where do you turn?
Do you know what it actually takes to achieve what you are looking to achieve?
Do you have the support, the drive, the ability to willingly sacrifice time, effort, energy?
Saw an article the other day about suicide rates in entrepreneurs.
It’s such a brutally lonely and tough journey at times and the higher up you get,
The lonelier it is.
I can’t stand when I see people slagging off those who give people shit who have jobs.
I miss having a job at times.
There is a lot to be said to being around people, routine, working towards one goal, being able to switch off when you get home.
When you decide to put your hand up and say ‘I’m going to do it my way’ no one prepares you for what it’s going to be like.
And, which is more insane, you end up spending so much time in your head that you create scenarios and ‘stuff’ that half the time never happens.
Not too sure what my thoughts were behind his post, or why I wrote it to be honest just felt like sharing.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to settle or going ‘all in’
Just like in anything in life for all the smooth, you have the rough to deal with too.read more
Stop Giving A Shit About What People Think
My dad – aka Big Papa Nige – found this bling monstrosity in an old box of Dan things
(I swear I had the taste of a fucking magpie)
Anyways; he found it, whipped a battery in and now is walking around a dinner plate on his wrist covered in diamantés
I used to care SO much what people thought.
What did it do for me?
I do my own thing.
Dance to my own beat.
Couldn’t give a tuppenny fuck what people think anymore and as a result?
Life is good.
Now be honest with yourself – how much of what you do is because of other people?
How much do you care about what people say about you?
Do you embrace your unique talents, quirks and down right wierd side?
If no? Why the fuck not?!
Life is so Bastard short why do you care so much about what other people think when they in all likelihood are too wrapped up in their own shit.
PS: my dad is a bling Bastard at 65 and he doesn’t give a toss
Be like my dadread more
YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR
Today I had the ‘joy’ (aka know as fucking misery) of shopping with the general public.
Due to the fact I have a massive squatters/rugby players arse, big & wide feet, and a thick torso ate BEST finding things on the high street is a challenge at best.
However, I had to brave the masses because my trusty brogues bit the dust, and due to some fancy meetings this week I felt it best to polish up, look smart and what have you.
Im not writing this to tell you my shopping woes, but to get though a point many seem to get wrong.
Those shoes above cost me £300
The last pair of shoes, virtually the same cost around the same.
Now, my ex taught me this principle called cost per wear (which I thought was a GENIUS excuse to buy more shoes!). When I look back these shoes have been to hundreds of meetings, nights out, weddings, piss-ups.
You name it, they have been on my feet.
I have bought shoes under £80/100 before and they are fucked before a year max.
My trusty brogues have been re-heeled, re-soled, new laces, polished and been as good looking as since when I got them out of a box.
But there are two things you can take from this:
Firstly, it’s no different with what YOU choose to invest in – as a rule – the more you invest, the better the quality service and treatment you get.
I went into ‘Schue’ to get some first of all, 7 staff -lazy twats not ONE came to serve me – and I even asked to get someone.
I went to John Lewis? Acknowledged, served and sold in under 7 minutes.
See the different?
Yes, I spent more – but I got what I wanted, at the speed I wanted – was treated with respect, and I feel leaving happy with my purchase.
If you are going to invest in a coach, copywriter, personal trainer, mindset expert, advertiser – whatever – take some time to consider YOUR ‘cost per wear’ for that transaction.
If you think you are going to get expert, genius level business coaching, world class, high converting copy, a fully functional, perfect, body in record time or the most highly targeted adverts paying peanuts?
you are mistaken my dear friend.
Equally, I am HAPPY to pay premium prices to those that DESERVE it – just because you see people espousing the benefits of charging ‘high ticket’ (and yes I have course on that, but it addresses the issues) does NOT mean that everyone, right now, has the right to charge high ticket.
You have to provide value, have skill, time served, ideally proof of your abilities or at the very least be so driven that you are willing to do anything to ensure your customer gets the desired result.
Secondly, things the nicest thing you own:
Could be an amazing pair of shoes (and fuck me women – spending £500+ on something you wear once a year and is painful as fuck?! You mad muggers!! ) a watch (as in my case), a car, a place, your home.
how do you feel when you use it?
Pretty fucking good I would imagine!
When you invest in something or someONE of quality, you feel not only better about your decision, but that you are in the hands of a professional, an expert, someone with ‘pedigree’
And to you youngsters (or those who have not put the years in yet to achieve this level) who may be reading this and thinking well Im not there yet?
There is a degree of nobility in getting really fucking good at something – NO ONE charges premium out of the gate, unless they have an innate talent (and you lucky freaks I hate you ha)
We all have to start somewhere.
We all have to learn out craft.
We all start out like a £50 pair of shoes that fall apart after a short while, but – as you develop, and become proficient at your craft?
You too can become a £300 pair of sexy AF brogues 😉
So in closing;
When you are looking to invest in yourself or someone/something – think is it a) worth the money and b) how does it make you feel
End of the day, quality costsread more
The Right Way And The Wrong Way To ‘Network’ Online (Social Media) – An Overview And Practical Tips You Apply Immediately
I had an awesome conversation with someone who had recently discovered me, and I had noticed that they had liked a fair chunk of my posts.
So I sent them a message and said hello.
Not trying to sell anything.
*JUST* genuinely wanting to connect with another human, who is in the same world as me.
That in turn leads to a call and now we will hang out out work together, all from having a genuine interest in getting to know the people who Like my work.
Now, Ive said this before – and this is the wrong way to network, or grow your online infuence:
1) add person as friend
2) Send ONE message (some done even send that) with a vague and cut/paste hello
3) pitch your fucking coaching programme
Mainly, because you look like a towering cock-womble…
Honestly, I know I can be accused of dumbing it down at times, but copy this = real connections and longer term relationships:
1) See someone you want to connect with? Add them as a friend
2) Wait for them to accept
3) When they have accepted – shoot them a PERSONAL message – have a read of their wall, what they like, and reference WHY you added them
4) Have NO agenda
5) Be a fucking human!
Equally, if that is a little too direct for you, try this:
1) Follow those people you wish to connect with
2) leave meaningful comments on their post, fairly regularly – but not SO often that you look like a stalker
3) Share their content, take them, reference WHY you shared it – again not often, ONLY if you actually rate what they have written
4) Interact on public message comments
5) Add as friend
6) Be a fucking human.
Honestly, does that sound that hard?
My friend Justin Devonshire taught me an amazing phrase that ‘Your Net Worth Is Your Network’
Do I have an amazing network?
I would say so.
Do I class these people as a means to an end, a $ sign, or someone I can get something from?
Do I fuck?
If that happens – great!
If not, don’t give a shit – the fact I have a meaningful connection means more to me than some short term gain. That and I actually like people!
So next time you add someone on FB – have some manners if they accept and at least shoot them a little message.
Trust me – this goes a long way 🙂read more
Why I’ll ‘Steal’ Your Chips And Piss On The Rest
Today’s lesson – I’m not directing it at anyone in here; but this needs to be said:
If someone gives you an opportunity…
The metaphorical ‘leg up’…
A ‘crack’ at a new audience…
That opportunity that you have been waiting for…
It **might** involve a little bit of hard work, maybe lowering your standards for a bit, doing ‘grunt’ work, putting hours in ON TOP of what you already do or maybe something for free?
If you DONT take it?
You are – quite frankly – a fucking dick
Now this was a chapter in my book, so am probably a little more ‘fired up’ than usual – and not because it has anything to do what what I earn – that I see people who are truly deserving, who work hard every day – yet when an opportunity comes that isn’t ‘perfect’ they pass
Case in point, myself and Jamie Alderton ran a fun little competition to get a ring card guy and girl for the Gary V event. It wasn’t going to be all skimpy clothed bollocks – but it DID involve the following:
– making a fun 30 second video
– writing a very specific number of words
– making a fucking effort!
Considering how many fitness people we have in here, the response was fucking pathetic.
What did they get in return for the above?
Well they got to attend the event for free, hang out with all the speakers, meet and get some camera time with Gary V – oh and coaching with me AND featured on Jamie’s social media (and spend a half day with him) which I GUARANTEE (because I’ve been on the receiving end of it!) would of made a massive impact on your business, reach and credibility
So I picked two people myself who had gone above and beyond to show how much they wanted this
Will I return the effort?
In fucking spades
(One guy is even coming over ON HIS OWN DIME to do this)
Another example – I have said this before – I worked for Ryan HAPPILY doing the jobs that a) nobody wanted to do and b) I would do HAPPILY without whining like a little bitch.
My career EXPLODED, I was introduced to some of the worlds best in my niche WHO ARE NOW MY ACTUAL PROPER FRIENDS WHO I HANG OUT WITH AND STUFF
What I am trying to say is this
THEY. ARE. FUCKING. EVERYWHERE
But you have to be open to them, and open to the fact that they are NOT going to be perfect – and sometimes you have suck a smidge of balls to get to where you be
Doesn’t make you weak
Doesn’t make you a loser
Makes you smart in my opinion – if it helps you AND helps the other person – whats wrong with it?
SO do me a favour fucking STOP waiting for the ‘perfect’ opportunity, don’t be so prideful, get your bastard hands dirty – thats IF you want to put what you are doing on ‘turbo’ as it were
If you are happy where you are and the pace you are going?
But please please please start to THINK about the opportunities and possibilities that are presented to you on a DAILY basis. – but don’t JUST think, bloody DO!
Far everyone that is writing down goals, wiping up visions boards, telling their friends they are going to do X, ‘manifesting’ (lol) or anything else that DOESN’T involve doing the work….
Some horrible hairy fucker like me, who is too dumb to take no for an answer, and sees rejection and knock backs as a hobby – I WILL beat you to it
Head to head
Because while you’re thinking about it – I’m doing it – and whatever market YOU are in? I GUARANTEE (again) that there will be a driven fucker who is going for it while you are writing it down in your notepad
START taking a chance
BE willing to do what others aren’t
Go And Have Some Fun
Have a fucking day off, do something stupid, do nothing.
Have some fun!
I will be challenging children to crazy golf, watching cartoons with my sister and likely smuggling meat into the cinema to watch Batman VS Superman.
I am doing nothing to work on myself.
I have zero desire to ‘push the needle’
Quite frankly after the weekend I am tossing the day off.
Trust me – taking time out (this is actually in my book) to do either a) stuff that makes you happy or b) absolutely nothing at all and letting the day figure itself out is key for your noggin
Flip notifications off.
Go solo or grab someone.
Go have fun!
Share if you want – or don’t – just DO!read more
What limitations are YOU imposing on YOURSELF?
^^^ funny concept eh?
Don’t get me wrong you are talking to someone who didn’t pull their finger out of their arse until they were 33!
I guess being a fat kid, beating pretty much all the girls to get first boobs in the class and yes DOUBLE braces – fuck me I was sexy – gives you an interesting kind of ‘training’
I either got bullied!
Or I talked my way out of it.
As far as I can remember I didn’t get bullied once; I was always able to come up with a great reason why they shouldn’t, and in fact many of the ‘naughty kids’ ended up apologizing and being my friend.
(which meant I NEVER got any shit as I got older ha)
Anyways, what I’m saying is that due to my bobble and braces, I got good at dealing with people and problems. This made me (and I say this with no arrogance, I have all the stats to prove it and YES it surprises me still to this day) an excellent personal trainer and headhunter.
I got people…
I got their problems…
I could build rapport fast…
I only sold them what they needed…
My client retention was obscence across all my careers (personal training, headhunting, advertising, copywriting, coaching)
I had been told for many a year that I was going to be successful, but at 32 I was doing ok, but hardly lighting the sky up!
It took me meeting some entrepreneurs who were much younger than me, much more successful than me to realise the issue all along had been ‘ME’
As a PT (and I think if you are smart you can get a fucking first class business education from YOUR clients) I was able to pick these guys who where in their 40’s and 50’s who had absolutely killed it in business.
What did they have?
-Mentally no ‘limitations’ on what was possible
-Confidence in their own abilities, and their business
– Listened to others opinions, but didn’t care if people liked/disliked them
– Wanted to be the best at what they did
– Understood the value of HARD work, but also fun
– Excellent networkers and communicators
But the key thing – and I’ve used this phrase more than once – If I had to sum them up:
INSTEAD OF THINKING WHAT IF, THEY THOUGHT WHY NOT
What a fucking amazing concept.
You have as much chance of predicting the future as I have of waking up NOT covered in hair 😉
Shoot for the bastard moon!
I mean look at me, Im an ordinary plum from Somerset who stopped making excuses for my lack of success, stopped thinking others had it ‘better’ than me, stopped worrying ‘what if’ and just fucking went for it.
I mean look at what’s happened for Gods sake! Franc Feliu and myself are brought Gary Vaynerchuk to the UK for an utterly crazy event in the middle of the largest UK boxing venue, with some of the UK & Americas top entrepreneurs, JUST excuse we said.
Take a moment and ponder, if you could get rid of that little dick-bag that makes you worry about all the things THAT could go wrong, and instead turned all the brain computing power to exploring what you COULD do
Do you think you would be happier, more fulfilled, challenged and closer to your goal (whatever that may be)
Well, thats for you to decide, but as soon as I stopped becoming attached to the outcome, and just fucking went for it?
Life has gotten considerably better….not for everyone, but worth a ponder eh?read more
How Far Would You Go?
If you were given an opportunity, you had a ‘sliver’ of hope to achieve your dreams and goals….how far would you go?
What would you be prepared to do?
I wrote a long and heart felt message to everyone that helped me along my journey to get to where I am.
I worked for Ryan, 8 hours a day, most days ON TOP of my day job.
Just for the chance to have a chance!
Listen it’s not for everyone, but sometimes you have to be prepared to do what no one else will do to get what you want out of life.
Spectacular results do not come from ordinary actions
Set Yourself A Challenge
When was the last time you set yourself a challenge, one that was actually hard-as-fuck to achieve, and would involve a little bit of blood, sweat, tears, or a degree of sacrifice?
For me, its been a little while.
Which is why a few weeks ago I got together a group of 5 folks (yours truly included) for an informal FB group – no cash, just people who are all at about the same level of biz, but in different niches and with different skills.
One of the group suggested we have a weekly challenge and I thought this was a great idea.
Some of us set financial goals…
Some of us set creative goals…
I have 1 week to write 10,000 words.
So today is gone – I now have to write around 1750-2000 words a day.
IS the world going to end if I don’t?
Is it balls?
But I know that each one of us IS holding the other accountable – its why I made the EXTRA accountability group for ‘Espresso With Dan’ as social accountability is SO important.
That, and I think its beyond easy to coast.
People are always looking for the lazy way out.
‘boo hoo this work is too hard’
You are a lazy fuck.
Hard work builds ‘backbone’ – every successful person I have met has gone thought phases of intense graft.
Is it forever?
But it IS a competent of every successful person I know
Hence this little challenge 🙂
I already have enough on my plate, with family duties, PLAT delivery, Espresso commitments, meetings, Live Streams, webinars, coaching, a 3 a day training split (yeah fuck me right), my own coaching (3 x copy coaching, a funnel building course and mindset work), journaling…
So why the fuck not throw in an arbitrary fucking hard deadline and commitment as well eh?
I work best under pressure, and the above is merely keeping me at ‘lightly stressed’
Lets see how much I can take eh?
After all its not forever – but it IS important as it builds character, resilience, mental toughness and If I do it right (in this instance) I’ll have a book at the end of it.
Not bad actually challenging yourself time to time eh?
Whats your take in it?
Are you a steady plodder?
Or do you like periods of being chill then going ‘balls/ovaries to the wall’
For me its the latter.
But whatever the ‘cut of your job’ is?
Why not pick something challenging, make it harder, give it a deadline (crucial) make a public declaration (also crucial ) and see what you can make happen….
I dare ya 😉read more
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