Coffee With Dan

I had an awesome conversation with someone who had recently discovered me, and I had noticed that they had liked a fair chunk of my posts.

So I sent them a message and said hello.

No agenda.

Not trying to sell anything.

*JUST* genuinely wanting to connect with another human, who is in the same world as me.

That in turn leads to a call and now we will hang out out work together, all from having a genuine interest in getting to know the people who Like my work.

Now, Ive said this before – and this is the wrong way to network, or grow your online infuence:

1) add person as friend

2) Send ONE message (some done even send that) with a vague and cut/paste hello

3) pitch your fucking coaching programme

Mainly, because you look like a towering cock-womble…

Honestly, I know I can be accused of dumbing it down at times, but copy this = real connections and longer term relationships:

1) See someone you want to connect with? Add them as a friend

2) Wait for them to accept

3) When they have accepted – shoot them a PERSONAL message – have a read of their wall, what they like, and reference WHY you added them

4) Have NO agenda

5) Be a fucking human!

Equally, if that is a little too direct for you, try this:

1) Follow those people you wish to connect with

2) leave meaningful comments on their post, fairly regularly – but not SO often that you look like a stalker

3) Share their content, take them, reference WHY you shared it – again not often, ONLY if you actually rate what they have written

4) Interact on public message comments

5) Add as friend

6) Be a fucking human.

Honestly, does that sound that hard?

My friend Justin Devonshire taught me an amazing phrase that ‘Your Net Worth Is Your Network’

Do I have an amazing network?

I would say so.

Do I class these people as a means to an end, a $ sign, or someone I can get something from?

Do I fuck?

If that happens – great!

If not, don’t give a shit – the fact I have a meaningful connection means more to me than some short term gain. That and I actually like people!

So next time you add someone on FB – have some manners if they accept and at least shoot them a little message.

Trust me – this goes a long way 🙂

Today’s lesson – I’m not directing it at anyone in here; but this needs to be said:

If someone gives you an opportunity…

The metaphorical ‘leg up’…

A ‘crack’ at a new audience…

That opportunity that you have been waiting for…

BUT

It **might** involve a little bit of hard work, maybe lowering your standards for a bit, doing ‘grunt’ work, putting hours in ON TOP of what you already do or maybe something for free?

If you DONT take it?

You are – quite frankly – a fucking dick

Now this was a chapter in my book, so am probably a little more ‘fired up’ than usual – and not because it has anything to do what what I earn – that I see people who are truly deserving, who work hard every day – yet when an opportunity comes that isn’t ‘perfect’ they pass

Fucks sake!

Case in point, myself and Jamie Alderton ran a fun little competition to get a ring card guy and girl for the Gary V event. It wasn’t going to be all skimpy clothed bollocks – but it DID involve the following:

– making a fun 30 second video

– writing a very specific number of words

– making a fucking effort!

Considering how many fitness people we have in here, the response was fucking pathetic.

What did they get in return for the above?

Well they got to attend the event for free, hang out with all the speakers, meet and get some camera time with Gary V – oh and coaching with me AND featured on Jamie’s social media (and spend a half day with him) which I GUARANTEE (because I’ve been on the receiving end of it!) would of made a massive impact on your business, reach and credibility

So I picked two people myself who had gone above and beyond to show how much they wanted this

Will I return the effort?

In fucking spades

(One guy is even coming over ON HIS OWN DIME to do this)

Another example – I have said this before – I worked for Ryan HAPPILY doing the jobs that a) nobody wanted to do and b) I would do HAPPILY without whining like a little bitch.

The result?

My career EXPLODED, I was introduced to some of the worlds best in my niche WHO ARE NOW MY ACTUAL PROPER FRIENDS WHO I HANG OUT WITH AND STUFF

What I am trying to say is this

Opportunities:

THEY. ARE. FUCKING. EVERYWHERE

But you have to be open to them, and open to the fact that they are NOT going to be perfect – and sometimes you have suck a smidge of balls to get to where you be

Doesn’t make you weak

Doesn’t make you a loser

Makes you smart in my opinion – if it helps you AND helps the other person – whats wrong with it?

Nothing.

SO do me a favour fucking STOP waiting for the ‘perfect’ opportunity, don’t be so prideful, get your bastard hands dirty – thats IF you want to put what you are doing on ‘turbo’ as it were

If you are happy where you are and the pace you are going?

Awesome!

But please please please start to THINK about the opportunities and possibilities that are presented to you on a DAILY basis. – but don’t JUST think, bloody DO!

Far everyone that is writing down goals, wiping up visions boards, telling their friends they are going to do X, ‘manifesting’ (lol) or anything else that DOESN’T involve doing the work….

Guess what?

Some horrible hairy fucker like me, who is too dumb to take no for an answer, and sees rejection and knock backs as a hobby – I WILL beat you to it

Head to head

Same market

I’ll win

Because while you’re thinking about it – I’m doing it – and whatever market YOU are in? I GUARANTEE (again) that there will be a driven fucker who is going for it while you are writing it down in your notepad

STOP thinking

START taking a chance

BE willing to do what others aren’t

EMBRACE risk

Bam!!!

Have a fucking day off, do something stupid, do nothing.

But please…

Have some fun!

I will be challenging children to crazy golf, watching cartoons with my sister and likely smuggling meat into the cinema to watch Batman VS Superman.

I am doing nothing to work on myself.

I have zero desire to ‘push the needle’

Quite frankly after the weekend I am tossing the day off.

Trust me – taking time out (this is actually in my book) to do either a) stuff that makes you happy or b) absolutely nothing at all and letting the day figure itself out is key for your noggin

Flip notifications off.

Go solo or grab someone.

Go have fun!

Share if you want – or don’t – just DO!

What limitations are YOU imposing on YOURSELF?

^^^ funny concept eh?

Don’t get me wrong you are talking to someone who didn’t pull their finger out of their arse until they were 33!

I guess being a fat kid, beating pretty much all the girls to get first boobs in the class and yes DOUBLE braces – fuck me I was sexy – gives you an interesting kind of ‘training’

I either got bullied!

Or I talked my way out of it.

As far as I can remember I didn’t get bullied once; I was always able to come up with a great reason why they shouldn’t, and in fact many of the ‘naughty kids’ ended up apologizing and being my friend.

(which meant I NEVER got any shit as I got older ha)

Anyways, what I’m saying is that due to my bobble and braces, I got good at dealing with people and problems. This made me (and I say this with no arrogance, I have all the stats to prove it and YES it surprises me still to this day) an excellent personal trainer and headhunter.

I got people…

I got their problems…

I could build rapport fast…

I only sold them what they needed…

My client retention was obscence across all my careers (personal training, headhunting, advertising, copywriting, coaching)

BUT

I had been told for many a year that I was going to be successful, but at 32 I was doing ok, but hardly lighting the sky up!

It took me meeting some entrepreneurs who were much younger than me, much more successful than me to realise the issue all along had been ‘ME’

As a PT (and I think if you are smart you can get a fucking first class business education from YOUR clients) I was able to pick these guys who where in their 40’s and 50’s who had absolutely killed it in business.

What did they have?

-Self belief

-Mentally no ‘limitations’ on what was possible

-Confidence in their own abilities, and their business

– Listened to others opinions, but didn’t care if people liked/disliked them

– Driven

– Wanted to be the best at what they did

– Understood the value of HARD work, but also fun

– Excellent networkers and communicators

But the key thing – and I’ve used this phrase more than once – If I had to sum them up:

INSTEAD OF THINKING WHAT IF, THEY THOUGHT WHY NOT

Why not!

What a fucking amazing concept.

You have as much chance of predicting the future as I have of waking up NOT covered in hair 😉

Shoot for the bastard moon!

I mean look at me, Im an ordinary plum from Somerset who stopped making excuses for my lack of success, stopped thinking others had it ‘better’ than me, stopped worrying ‘what if’ and just fucking went for it.

I mean look at what’s happened for Gods sake! Franc Feliu and myself are brought Gary Vaynerchuk to the UK for an utterly crazy event in the middle of the largest UK boxing venue, with some of the UK & Americas top entrepreneurs, JUST excuse we said.

WHY NOT!?

instead of

WHAT IF?

Take a moment and ponder, if you could get rid of that little dick-bag that makes you worry about all the things THAT could go wrong, and instead turned all the brain computing power to exploring what you COULD do

Do you think you would be happier, more fulfilled, challenged and closer to your goal (whatever that may be)

Well, thats for you to decide, but as soon as I stopped becoming attached to the outcome, and just fucking went for it?

Life has gotten considerably better….not for everyone, but worth a ponder eh?

If you were given an opportunity, you had a ‘sliver’ of hope to achieve your dreams and goals….how far would you go?

What would you be prepared to do?

I wrote a long and heart felt message to everyone that helped me along my journey to get to where I am.

I worked for Ryan, 8 hours a day, most days ON TOP of my day job.

Just for the chance to have a chance!

Listen it’s not for everyone, but sometimes you have to be prepared to do what no one else will do to get what you want out of life.

Spectacular results do not come from ordinary actions

Agree?

Oh and I had to steal this from STENTS Mark Whitehand because quite frankly I wanted to publicly troll the shit out of James Orpin 😉

When was the last time you set yourself a challenge, one that was actually hard-as-fuck to achieve, and would involve a little bit of blood, sweat, tears, or a degree of sacrifice?

For me, its been a little while.

Which is why a few weeks ago I got together a group of 5 folks (yours truly included) for an informal FB group – no cash, just people who are all at about the same level of biz, but in different niches and with different skills.

One of the group suggested we have a weekly challenge and I thought this was a great idea.

Some of us set financial goals…

Some of us set creative goals…

Mine?

I have 1 week to write 10,000 words.

So today is gone – I now have to write around 1750-2000 words a day.

Every day!

IS the world going to end if I don’t?

Is it balls?

But I know that each one of us IS holding the other accountable – its why I made the EXTRA accountability group for ‘Espresso With Dan’ as social accountability is SO important.

That, and I think its beyond easy to coast.

People are always looking for the lazy way out.

‘boo hoo this work is too hard’

I counter.

Nope!

You are a lazy fuck.

Hard work builds ‘backbone’ – every successful person I have met has gone thought phases of intense graft.

Is it forever?

No.

But it IS a competent of every successful person I know

Hence this little challenge 🙂

I already have enough on my plate, with family duties, PLAT delivery, Espresso commitments, meetings, Live Streams, webinars, coaching, a 3 a day training split (yeah fuck me right), my own coaching (3 x copy coaching, a funnel building course and mindset work), journaling…

So why the fuck not throw in an arbitrary fucking hard deadline and commitment as well eh?

I work best under pressure, and the above is merely keeping me at ‘lightly stressed’

Lets see how much I can take eh?

After all its not forever – but it IS important as it builds character, resilience, mental toughness and If I do it right (in this instance) I’ll have a book at the end of it.

Not bad actually challenging yourself time to time eh?

Whats your take in it?

Are you a steady plodder?

Or do you like periods of being chill then going ‘balls/ovaries to the wall’

For me its the latter.

But whatever the ‘cut of your job’ is?

Why not pick something challenging, make it harder, give it a deadline (crucial) make a public declaration (also crucial ) and see what you can make happen….

I dare ya 😉

16 points to making it online – the concept of ‘You, Inc’

Now as my brain is somewhat Swiss cheesed due to all the lack of sleep….this is a great article I saved from Victor Pride who runs bold and determined blog.

Now he does have a polarising style of writing, but if you can look at the content?

The honesty and advice is solid.

Like seriously good!

Enjoy!

https://boldanddetermined.com/you-inc/

***Daily Dose Of Dan*** (a success checklist – what’s your score?)

This weekend – if nothing else – has made me realise that limiting beliefs are a bitch.

There are people I have hung out with who simply got out of their own fucking way, committed to getting shit done and didn’t really let anyone tell them they couldn’t do it.

I thought would be fun to give you a checklist of key traits and observations I’ve made from the successful ladies and gents at BBW.

See how many you have?

– have a mentor or coach

– do what they said they would do

– always open to ask for help

– passionate about what they are doing

– multiple failures

– masters of ROR – Return On Relationships

– natural networkers, not forced at all (social)

– playing a long game and willing to lose $ for a greater good

– part of multiple masterminds, groups, networks

– adds value before asks for anything though

– open to change: not fixed mindset

– mastery of their own mindset

– a little bit fucking odd 😉

– filthy bastards too!

Today, is THE best day to make good shit happen – I’m talking sales, networking, connections, pitches, problem solving.

The “works”

Alas, my week is a 7-day affair, but since we have been indoctrinated since school that we ‘work’ M-F, with weekends off -its hard to shake

And that’s a good thing!

Its early morning here in Utah (currently lamented my arse after the ski-tastrophie that is Dan) but fear not my British chums, you still have a LOT of time let

Some of my best sales calls and pitches have been done in the afternoon/early evening

Why make it hard for yourself?

Use human psychology!

People are in a good mood (because its friday and the weekend is near)

And what are people in a good mood like?

Well they are more likely to buy, more likely to invest, more likely to handle shit (so if you fucked up something, might be a good idea to catch them when they are thinking about gin ‘o’ clock eh)

Same with connecting with people

Many are starting to wind down, and the idea of having a call or IM conversation still kinda-feels-like-work-ish so now would be a good idea to reach out to some folks you might want to connect with don’t you think?

Be cool

Be casual

DONT pitch if you haven’t met/connected with them

Be authentic (as in have a genuine reason to connect)

Have fun

So today, if you have:

– pitches outstanding

– sales calls to do

– issues you need to fix

– people you want to connect with

JUST

FUCKING

DO

IT

🙂

Let us know how it goes?

Ah yes, the ‘thing’

I HATE the term networking, but I have built a very good network – as my friend Justin Devonshire preaches – your NETWORK is your NET WORTH

So would you like to know how to build a network, connect with people in the RIGHT way, and grow your connections without coming across as a desperate bastard?

You know what to do….lemme know 😉