Coffee With Dan

Your greatest asset/your biggest enemy

How many times ya reckon your head has held you back….

For me?

Fuck tonnes!

In the past I used to numb my thoughts with alcohol or excessive work schedules mad training or just sleeping the day away

ANYTHING to avoid NOT thinking

But you know what – and I’m saying this as someone who DOES NOT ENJOY CONFRONTING THINGS – the more you figure out what the fuck is holding you back…

Sit down…

Write out all the shit you need to do…

Work out what is (REALLY) most important…

….then go do it

One of THE best pieces of advice I can give you when it comes to the dumb shit your brain tells you is go away

Seriously just go away for a day

Write out EVERYTHING that is worrying you

If you truly have zero influence over it?

Sack it off and deal with it IF it happens (it’s almost always ‘if’ lol)

What you do have Control over?

Work out the one which is giving you the most shit – JUST DO THAT

And work through you list from most painful to least

It’s simple but will get you out of your head and into action which – we all know this – is the only thing that’s gonna make a difference anyways eh

😘

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You don’t always have to be on – last week I (honestly) had to vanish for a few days because I had forgotten to do the things that make me, ME

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy

Life is shorter than you think and can be taken away in a heartbeat

Do I fuck around? 100%. Not with peoples investment and try not to (we all fuck up time to time) with peoples feelings – and they are, again 100%, times when you HAVE to adult

But don’t make too many sacrifices and cut back on the little things…the fun things…the silly things…that make you you

No one’s getting out alive, might as well have a giggle eh? (Oh and of you have ever seen yourself having sex and don’t think that’s the most ridiculous thing ever – I mean really it’s fucking daft lol – then lighten the hell up. That’s how the human race keep going And it’s ridiculous 🤣)

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What do you LOVE about social media?

There’s loads of mingebags moaning about social, but even though it can be a harsh mistress sometimes? I ADORE it 🥰

Some things that FB & IG have done for me:

• helped me connect with an entire world of amazing humans
• create multiple businesses
• allowed me to work at my own times and support my family
• helped with the loneliness and isolation of being and entrepreneur
• got a GF once 🤣

SOCIAL

MEDIA

IS

FUCKING

AWESOME

– so there –

What about you – what do you LOVE about the online world?!

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I’m going to give you a very simple, but hugely powerful piece of business and life advice:

Neediness? Is THE biggest turn off. EVER.

(And this is linked to my Q about confidence earlier and covered this in 2017)

Now, before I go #ballsdeep into this topic, I want to make a clarity between tenacity and neediness

Tenacity is a trait I happily posses in spades. No arrogance, I am tenacious – I follow up, I close, I get knocked back (after some micro self-bitching) and I’m back on it again

As a rule? If there is something I truly want – I will (eventually) get it in a business and often life sense

(You have to be careful AF nowadays but am safe due to #clamnesty lol)

This, was not always this way but was forged from tens of thousands of failed attempts, phones put down on me, emails ignored, letters but in the bin and so on and so forth

Neediness?

Is when you HOUND someone for the close, when you send multiple messages because you haven’t got an answer, when you simple NEED the sale/close

Same in personal life; I know this though painful experience and until I understood and studied psychology and persuasion to the levels I have now

I had NO idea that my actions were coming across as ‘needy’

If you are selling a product, a service or yourself – if you act needy (no matter how good what you are selling is); I would comfortably bet on you having lost the ‘sale’

Even if you are down to the last penny you have, And that one deal would pay off your bills and feed you – you need to come from a position of strength

If your product or service can help someone, then YOU have the upper hand

Yes, they have the money but you have the solution to their pain

Case in point:

Back in my PT days when I started I used a paper diary – and I would block out times and dates for that week with names (of my friends and I would call them – often mum ha – but still ‘real’ I would bugger off to speak to them)

I was NEVER available there and then no matter how much they wanted me

My friend Phil consistently trolls this fucking idiot who runs an webinar add for working 20 minutes a week from a yacht in space (or some bollocks) yet he has 10+ call slots every day

My webinars? Free and pretty much all of them NO pitch – there’s no recordings – no matter your story you don’t get one unless you are in ‘Espresso With Dan’ (EWD)

My coaching and EWD (outside of openings) – you either have to pitch me or make a donation to a charity i patronage AND I have to like you; but you get in when I say so – not the other way around

– it’s not being a dick it’s just knowing my worth –

I personally am hugely respectful, mindful and grateful for anyone that invests in me – but I don’t NEED it; what you see ‘coffee with dan’ land accounts for about 30-40% of my ‘world’

But even when I was a poor as piss PT, fledging consultant, new gym owner, wet-behind-the-ears headhunter – whatever I ALWAYS portrayed the fact I didn’t NEED your custom

Of course, I welcomed it – but I knew what I had was the answer to your problems

Someone walks away? No dramas

If you’re pitching someone; you need to position yourself as the expert and that by them NOT speaking to you it’s a mistake

When you piss and moan that people don’t follow up your calls, ignore your messages, leave voicemail that get ignored

You look like a little mingebag

(And That is my word of the week and I’m 100% going to use it loads lol)

If that happens a LOT – getting rejected or ignored consistently? Then my advice is as follows:

• go #ballsdeep I did street business ‘game’, cold calls, cold emails, cold pitches. It Toughened me up and removed that ‘needy’ side
• study human persuasion; learn how verbal and body language can influence people
• buy all of Cialdini’s books. Read. Apply daily
• practice; I always try this out in real life – with everyone I meet; make it a game to see what you can get/do. Strike up conversations
• improve your social proof – write a book, start a podcast, get on stage (a killer); create content and become an expert by being ACTUALLY good at something
• improve how you look; drop some weight, dress better, workout, get a tan, get a nice, sort your hair/skin out. You will be judged no matter what – so why not stack the deck in your favour?

Anyways, little bit of advice – hope was useful

From a friend of mine who the ladies seem to love – and he is at best ‘unique’ looking (and this applies to business too)

You would never think it, but giving less fucks leads to more fucks

(For me the next step is to be bothered…🤣)

Lol

Confidence isn’t something I was born with

Daily progress…

Incremental gains…

Practice

Try

Fail

Learn

Repeat until success

😘

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You get what you focus on

Lately I have been trying something a little novel

In the past I worried so much about everything it totally toasted my mind

I struggled to get out of bed….

Are nothing but shit food…

Stayed inside for days…

Really there were times I couldn’t remember last time I went outside, spoke to a human or even brushed my teeth

I would spend SO MUCH time trying to plan for every scenario that it totally fucked my ability to critically think, create and ultimately work myself out of the problems I had

(Which when your known as the guy who ‘gets shit done’ is a little bit embarrassing…)

That was a while ago

And all being well?

Those demons are exorcised

Now what I’ve been doing lately is totally, 100% doubling down on only things I can control

If I can’t

– Influence

– Persuade

– Fix

– Motivate

– Outsource

I move on

It simply gets removed from the ‘to do’ list and only the ‘fuck it’ pile

I decided that to focus on

– my health

– my business

– my connections

I decided that I was worthy of looking and feeling good…

I decided that I was worthy of the plans and goals I had set for my businesses…

I decided that I was worthy of meeting an awesome human, an amazing family, friendships and network…

And I believed it

And I started putting the work into ME and MY world to make that happen

That process started some months ago

And the seeds planted have turned into trees that are now bearing modest fruit that, in the next few months, will be an abundant harvest

But that all started with me having taking quite a considerable beating (aka ‘2018’) and deciding that enough was enough

No self pity

No believing my own bullshit

No half-arsed efforts

All in

All out

One or the other

I chose all in

But it all stared with a conversation with myself that I was a worthy enough human to have the things I have, create the things I wanted to create and do the things I wanted to do

That was the seed

The trees were action

Periods of intense effort interspersed with steady daily progress

Rapid growth

Steady growth

– both were needed –

The fruit?

Well that is the weight loss, the new epic humans, cemented relationships, new businesses and creative content, the awesome new clients, the mental freedom and the love and happiness I have in my life

But it all starts with you planting that little seed in your mind

And the you have to water it and nurture it and feed it good food it and shelter it and wait and keep doing it over and over again until it shoots

Because turning a seed into a sapling into a tree takes time

But if you are prepared to plant that little seed and help it grow?

The fruit tastes fucking amazing

😘

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The Ultimate Get Shit Done Mini-Series has begun

This series is all about Getting Shit Done.

Taking action.

Making progress.

And trusting the process enough to follow through to the end.

Because if you don’t… you will fail.

Now the reason I’ve got you to drop the word “reading” in the comments before you continued on is because that one simple action actually triggers something in your mind to help you succeed.

The people who don’t succeed in life and business?

They have a mind that’s wired for consumption.

So they consume, nodding and agreeing in all the right places and do fuck all with the information.

Taking seconds to drop a one word flicks the switch and shifts you into the mindset for action.

It’s also a micro-commitment to yourself because the statement you’ve just made to yourself is

1. My life isn’t perfect there’s things I want to change and improve so I can reach my goals and create the life I want

2. This is something that matters to me

3. I’m going to do something about it.

Instantly – before you’ve even got a single tip from this post – you’ve just massively increased your success with the things I’m about to share.

Now, it was pretty hard to miss last weeks gymnastics antics.

Operation F.U.K. got underway in a big way.

7 hours of gymnastics 7 days a week.

Relentless practice.

End result?

I did things I didn’t believe were even possible.

Handstands. Cartwheels. Somersaults.

I’ve NEVER been able to do any of that.

Even when I was young fit and healthy.

I’d been missing ripped Dan.

Especially as ripped Dan didn’t have a back that was absolutely fucked through rugby and weightlifting.

#Yay

Ever had that dawning realisation of “Is this it?”

It’s a brutal gut punch and it’s goes one of 2 ways.

It takes you out. You accept your fate and live your life with a body you hate, relationships that are nonexistant, a bank balance that makes you nauseous every time you check it and a mind that tells you that even if you want to change you can’t anyway because good things don’t happen to people like you.

Or

You take the hit and fight back.

You take action.

Do something to make that hit the last hit that comes your way due to your own lack of action and self care.

Now what I did last week? It didn’t just happen.

If I’d have woke up Monday morning and thought “You know what – I’m gonna go balls deep with gymnastics and see what happens” it would have been a complete disaster.

It would have broke me in all kinds of ways.

Big things like that need a whole lot of planning and preparation to succeed.

And that’s the problem nowadays.

Everyone wants to take the big action and get big results now immediately with zero planning and support.

I can’t imagine why.

I’m sure it’s got absolutely nothing to do is people telling you you can create a six figure business in a weekend with nothing but a funnel and some internet marketing maths.

Twats.

Big stuff needs planning and resources.

In fact I started planning for Last week and the things I’ve got lined up beyond now way back in October.

If I didn’t have the businesses I have, set up in the way they are with teams in both the online and offline businesses to keep things running. I couldn’t just go off for a week of bouncing and stretching and spinning without it having a knock on effect.

How about content?

I didn’t disappear off the face of the earth because it was planned and prepared.

I even took a day to get some content lined up for various places knowing that I still need to show up even when I’m busy and even if I’m absolutely mullered after a day of pushing myself to my physical limits.

7 hours of physical exercise for 7 days straight needs fueling. Fuck that up and you end up wiped out, hungry, weak, injured, bloated and more. Game over.

For me, this meant having the whole week meal prepped down to the macro.

I didn’t have to do or think about anything and my body got everything it needed.

And I even planned myself a little treat on the Sunday still within macros if I succeeded. I did. It was pizza. It was awesome.

Oh yeah, and 11lbs lost isn’t a bad extra win either 😉

Again mindset is a huge deal here. Going ballsdeep with anything is often brutal.

And you have to keep on going and pushing through setbacks, doubt and fear.

Attack something big on a whim and your head won’t be in the right place for it.

You’ll have all the motivation to kick it off and the moment you hit a speed bump the wheels will fall off.

Last one…

Remember me mentioning my back and shoulder was fucked?

Going from zero into full on gymnastic training would not have been pretty.

It would have absolutely destroyed me.

Not only would I have had a complete lack of progress because the things ‘ve done wouldn’t have been possible.

I would have broken myself so much I’d be stuck on bed rest with immense pain for days.

No use to anyone. Friend, family, business or audience.

And imagine what my mind would be like if I got stuck doing nothing for days.

We don’t want to go there.

That’s why I’ve been doing all the core mobility work you might have seen me posting about in recent months.

All been in preparation for this.

So can you see now why going #ballsdeep in such a big way is something that needs planning and prep.

That’s why there’s so much frustration and so many people beating themselves up.

You only hear people talking about their big successes and massive action.

They rarely talk about the work needed to get them into position to be able to make it happen.

Should you do your own version of something like this?

Hell yes! If you’ve got the kind of personality, planning and resources in place when you begin.

Hint: Start preparing now for something big later on in the year. Then smash it

What about now?

What if you don’t have all the time and recourses available right away?

What if there’s a lot of prep needed before you could go all in?

What if that simply doesn’t suit your personality?

There are two core methods for success and if you want to make the most progress possible combining the two is what’s gonna do it.

The first as I’ve covered above is total immersion to “Are you fucking mad?” levels.

The other?

Consistent daily progress.

It’s one of the biggest factors in me getting to where I am right now.

And with every business I’ve run and every job I’ve had it’s always been the same.

You don’t get to skip doing the work.

In fact some of the biggest successes we have in Espresso With Dan? They come from people who take a training absorb it and implement that one thing day after day for a few weeks or months and re-emerge with ridiculous wins like one member popping up a couple of months ago to say “by the way I sent this series of emails out to a list this week and it’s just passed the £110,000 mark”

Or another who popped up after a long stint of pure implementation to say “business is doing great. In fact I started a new one along side it which is going to do $750,000 in its first year…all whilst being a stay at home dad to 3 kids”

Nothing compares to doing the time, consistently taking action and growing more and more along the way.

Oh and one big bonus

If you are always taking action and moving forward.

Doing the same steps every day that lead to your goal.

Your brain doesn’t get given the opportunity to screw you over with overthinking and self doubt.

It’s easy to say – just do the work.

Then life happens.

Obstacles come up.

Time gets sucked down the drain.

And your head turns into your biggest enemy.

So here’s a few things to help you get out of your own damn way.

Choosing What To Attack

You want to have the biggest impact on your life?

Then you need to get focused on the most important things to work on.

It’s so easy to look at a laundry list of all the things you could and should do to have the life, body, business, relationships etc.

Try and do it all in one go and you put too much pressure on yourself, juggle too many balls and end up dropping the lot.

First two things you need to work on?

1. The thing that’s causing you the most pain right now.

Finances, body, relationships etc.

For many of you the big one is money.

They say money doesn’t make you happy.

It’s true.

Lack of money however can cause immense amounts of pain that cripples your business, destroys relationships, leaves you stressed, angry frustrated and depressed.

14% of suicides are directly tied to financial issues and 21% of divorces too.

In fact it’s the most common reason for a marriage breaking down.

Money matters.

And if you want the freedom to do what you want in life.

Create the impact and contribution to the world you’re looking to make.

Look after yourself and your family for years to come.

And have experiences worth living for

You’ve gotta get your finances sorted whether that’s destroying debt, boosting your income or both.

First step – create a habit of tracking what’s coming in and going out each day.

Then work from there.

2. The thing you keep on ignoring.

…I bet you’re thinking “I thought he already covered money”

Sure are enough people who’d rather put their head in the sand on that one.

I’m actually talking about something else.

You see there’s 2 kinds of pain.

Active pain – oh fuck I’m broke what the hell am I gonna do to get me through

Passive pain – I’ll be ok. It’s just a downer kind of day and I’ll feel better in a bit.

Yep I’m talking about that quiet pain in the ass that’s all but silently crippling you.

Not as glaringly obvious as other issues and easily brushed off.

For me, mindset was a big one.

Meh whatever. I’m fine. I’ll deal with it. Rage and spite is good for me.

Honestly? Rage and spite do work incredibly well.

Problem is when you get stuck in those negatives for too long.

The things that you use to boost you forward can become the biggest things to hold you back.

The Dan I am now is not the Dan I was a few years back.

More mellow.

More chill.

More zen.

And it’s had a bigger impact on my life and business that I realised it would.

Allowing me to do so much more and become a much better leader.

Your own mindset struggles may look completely different.

Yet, they still need addressing.

And there isn’t a magic wand.

If there was you would think good things one day and never have any struggles again.

Whatever it is.

Imposter syndrome

Overwhelm.

Self-worth struggles

Rage

You can only brush them away so long before they take over.

Simple consistent effort is what’s gonna help you overcome them so you no longer go one step forward and three steps back.

Either You Control Your Week OR Your Week Controls You

We all start off with best intentions and things “come up”

You tell yourself you’ll just do this one little thing first and woosh your whole day is gone.

You do a little research and find yourself sucked into rabbit holes.

You get distracted.

You tell yourself it’s ok.

You let yourself off the hook because just one day won’t hurt.

Once, twice, three times…on it goes.

Do you know how many people are going to get back into the gym “soon”

It happens so easily.

The only way to combat this is to make a commitment to your new habits and block out the time to get them done.

No matter what.

Perfect example is my “dentists chair” I use for new business development.

You wouldn’t skip out on a visit to the dentist so make that level of commitment to growing your business by setting yourself a daily block purely for new business development.

And watch what happens.

Slaying Procrastination & Obliterating Overwhelm

Time and time again procrastination and overwhelm come up

It’s the biggest challenge faced by entrepreneurs.

One leads to the other.

Overwhelm makes you procrastinate and procrastination gets you overwhelmed.

Here’s how to deal with them

Procrastination is defeated by action.

One little action to get the ball rolling and some momentum.

Create a habit of action – especially the big hard things – and you can all but eliminate procrastination entirely.

Overwhelm comes from indecision.

There’s all the things you could and should do and that puts you in a freeze and you get none of them done.

Again it’s action that takes you out of it.

Overthinking and trying to do everything simply doesn’t work.

Choosing something and doing it breaks you out of the feeling of overwhelm and helps you gain momentum.

There are so many paths to success…if you follow them far enough.

Choosing one will get you to where you want to go.

Even if it’s not the perfect best path that everyone is currently talking about.

The one you do – is the one you succeed at.

And there are pretty much no wrong choices.

Turn that choice into a habit you focus on and you don’t need to be overwhelmed by all the other stuff at all.

Pre-empting obstacles

As I mentioned at the start with my ballsdeep method. Obstacles come up and failure will happen if they aren’t addressed.

Sometimes life throws you a curveball out of nowhere that you couldn’t have planned.

Others – they had a decent chance of occurring.

The beauty of that is if you know these things have a good chance of happening, you can take action ahead of time to either prevent them or have a plan of action in place for when they do.

Know you work great on creative things in the afternoons but terrible in the morning. Plan your day so you do the non-creative things in the morning and put out your best work during peak time.

Parents – you know the school holidays are going to come up every few months and screw up your week.

What can you do now to get ready for them so they aren’t going to take you out.

Plan a minimum effective dose of what you need to do and then anything else is a bonus.

Plus you actually get chance to spend quality time with your kids without beating yourself up over an impossible list of tasks.

Know you won’t write those critical posts and emails if you don’t do it in the morning? Set yourself a rule, nothing happens till they get done.

It’s all about giving yourself the best chance.

Stacking Habits

You’ve heard me mention habits a lot in this post because they are crucial.

Consistent daily habits are key.

Take one, act on it and build up your days and weeks with the habits and routines that lead to success.

You show up – always

You make sales – always

You take time for yourself – always

You reach out to your loved ones – always

You learn and develop – always

You look after your health – always

Steadily improving day by day in all areas of life pretty much on autopilot

Getting Support

You can do it alone but it’s bloody tough going.

Don’t you want to have everything stacked in your favour?

Everything I’ve achieved so far in life has been through my own effort but ONLY with support along the way.

Fitness, copywriting, online business, headhunting. The lot of it.

I’ve always had some form of support to help me be the best Dan I can be.

Even when I had to do the Amex gamble and bust my ass to make sure I could cover it when the bill dropped a month later.

It really is that important

For those of you who struggle to get shit done, need some daily guidance to stay on track and are sick to death of procrastination and overwhelm destroying any progress you make.

This is for you.

I actually got a reminder of the one from Tega as he’s been working some magic on the websites that hold trainings and courses.

Its 30 days of structured challenges and instructions on what ONE THING to do that day:

It helps you set up your day for maximum productivity

Get your health and wellness in order

It walks you though simple business and marketing tactics that WORK

Gives you powerful suggestions to ensure you are not neglecting key areas of your life (and if you are what to do about it)

And ends off with series of challenges that – if you do them – can really change you world

It really is brilliant (I hired some epic experts to give it the once over and it really works IF you do it)

So if you need a bit of direction…

Some simple easy-to-implement coaching…

Are prepared to do ONE thing a day to improve your WHOLE life as an entrepreneur…

Then this might be exactly what you are looking for

Over the 30 days (its split into 4 blocks) this is how its sectioned:

Phase 1 = Prep week
Phase 2 = Building the ideal day
Phase 3 = Growth and expansion
Phase 4 = DO THE BIG THING

Its elegant and POWERFUL in its simplicity, and with the majority of business owners and entrepreneurs thats all they need

To be told what to do

And then go do it

Don’t get me wrong it starts of simple, but the goal is to improve ALL areas of your life, and then round off with some challenges to really help you level up

If that sounds like something you think you would be interested, it works out at £3.16 a day

And if you don’t think you can make that back with even a FEW of the principles

(let alone all 30)

I’ll be stunned

So if again you need some direction, have no idea or where to turn, want to be the best version of you without adding to your already full-as-fuck plate?

Then this might be exactly what you need, and you can grab it here:

www.coffeewithdan.com/30for30

Just £95 and you get 30 days of Dan based glory every day in your inbox, all YOU have to do…

…is do the work

Simple.

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My mentor has drilled into me that a collar saved is a dollar earned; hence befriended the jet ski people to get a good daily deal

So what do I actually need, each week, to live an ideal life?

This is an exercise that you really should think of doing because it gives you a target/goal and the fact it’s often not as hard as you think…..

So, this is Dan’s:

(Saying I end up living in Cyprus because it’s fucking ace)

Monthly

Rent – 400

Daily jet ski – 240

Food (I ain’t cooking shit) – 500

Weekly night out – 400

Phone, Netflix, wifi, work stuff – 200

Transport (a driver, because reasons) – 500

2240

And let’s jack it up to 3500 because I have very little impulse control and like nice things

So I need to earn:

Around £120 a day to live a fucking great life, duck around on motorized death bikes, have all the fun and do fuck all to look after myself

Not that much eh?

I’m all for being frugal, saving and being sensible – by when you (as my American cousins like to say) ‘do the math’

You can have a lot for less than you think

And let’s be honest I’m not having a shit life with the above budget am I?!

So my challenge to you is:

Work out what you need to live the life you want, make that a target then brainstorm how you can make it

Look I’m all for action but if you have no idea what the end result (aka YOUR version of success) is how the hell you going to know when you get there eh?!

Go on,

Post up – what you need for your ideal life

And how you gonna get there

PS: I am pointing to a jet ski because I fucking love jet skis

Lol

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Do this NOW:

Get on the phone

Write that email

Send that social media message

Do that LIVESTREAM

Arrange that meeting

Send that broadcast email

Now!

Friday afternoon is THE best time for new business, pitches, sales, connection and all round getting what you want

It doesn’t matter if you, or your prosper works a 9-5, or every day of the week

The Friday feeling is a thing!!

People are in a good mood, the weather is amazing (for me Anyways ha), people are core amenable to ‘busy fool’ kinda work, and you get the tonality right?

I mean it!

Go do the thing, go on…

(Might even do something myself – I’ve even given my week long ass kicking/power

Coaching a cool name now….)

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The combination of being horribly triggered (and subsequently being a fucking knob – I am human and do dumb shit time to time), having my landlord be a towering cock knocker and forcing my hand to move, a brutal exercise I did in Espresso with Dan and trying to keep everyone happy

I cracked

Now before this would involve going on a crazy bender and probably making matters worse

Now, I know better

I lock myself in a hotel room

Phone goes off

Films go on

The world simply disappears until the next day, aka today – where I now have a non-emotionally charged head on me I can deal with everything in a rational way

– make the apologies

– call a letting agency/make travel plans

– serve my paying clients first and ensure I respond to their requests

– begin to recruit someone to handle excess work

– have some time to reflect and do some ‘me stuff’

In telling you, as you climb up the greasy post of success – however high you want to go; you are going to have situations that will push you to breaking point

My suggestion to you

– recognise the warning signs

– have a ‘plan’ of things to do, people to see/call, whatever to help you out of it

– sleep on it: 99% of the times how you react or what you say/do isn’t a good idea when you are under pressure

– be logical: address the problems and fix them one by one DO NOT try and fix them all at one time

I hope you are having a great start to your Friday and end to the week – I’m going to rent a boat and get a massage

Adulting can wait till tomorrow 🙂

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