Why being CRUEL can be KIND
How by blocking a struggling mother of 3 created a 6 figure empire, and why *sometimes* being brutal is the best thing for your clients
^^^ how much of an asshole do I sound eh?
But its true, at the height of when she was up against the most stress…
The most change…
The most challenging time of her fledging business career…
I blocked Shelley Roe
Well, let me explain
Shelley was one of the first people (along with Ollie) who I coached when online – as in ever
So, my ‘firsts’ tend to hold a bit of a soft spot for my clients and Shelly and me had become very good friends.
But there was a problem, the problem was that Shelley had reached a level of success with me (from barely having enough to get the mortgage paid, looking after 3 kids, trying to make ends meet in the gym and with her meal plans and hand made treats/nutrition) – to having more money than she ever thought she would have
With clients all over the country, money SAVED for the first time, fully able to afford OUTRIGHT Christmas presents for her little ones she relied heavily on me
And, as (what I thought) was good coaching?
I allowed it
I allow it for a long time – long after we had *officially* ended our formal working arrangement
When is when I had to the hardest thing I have ever done
I cut the strings
Blocked the chats
And left her to stand on her own two feet
Now, before you thing ‘c*nt’ this has been done to me before, my mentor did this to me – and with HINDSIGHT (as Shelley now agrees) it is THE best thing to of happened to me, and Shelley
Because sometimes we lean on people TOO much:
Yet what we REALLY needed to do – the thing that will help us grow the most?
Is to stand on our own two feet
Assume the mantle of leader
Stop relying on others
And define out own success, our own reality, our own future and STOP relying on others for validation, happiness or financial gains
Like it as for me, Shelley had a few weeks of fear, unsure footing and a little rudderless
(this was EXACTLY how I felt btw)
But then something amazing happened…..she found her footing, she ‘stood up’ and she took action – which was (and trust me, i fucking HATED doing this) exactly what I wanted her to do
Being a coach is not all sunshine and rainbows
Sometimes you have to do something so fucking hard that it tears you up inside, you have to have the conversation that someone needs to hear but will – briefly – crush them, to give people the cold hard facts that they need to hear to be able to affect the following changes they have always wanted in their life
But sometimes you – as a coach (and your client) have to suffer for period to grow
In this case?
I am safe to say she did
After our little hiatus she has come back into my world, a little driven by spite (as I say in my book its a HELL of a motivator with not only a solid 6-figure business, but 3 staff, a national delivery network AND her own kitchen and shop – supplying the Olympic olympic athletes, trainers, bodybuilders and those looking for healthy ways to lose weight with taste
Its safe to say www.noexcusesnutriton.co.uk is the fucking tits now
See, sometimes being an asshole is the best thing you can be
I just wanted to give Shelley a massive public shout out as a true, proper, put-the-fucking-work-in, did-as-i-fucking-said success story
No body believed in her before me
But she needed to believe in herself
Now she does
In fact, after this – she got a tattoo:
‘she believed she could, so she did’
And fuck me she did!
Out of the dark light does come, and as a coach its up to you to use the tools at your disposal
Whatever is needed to get the job done, sometimes it hurts – but in the end – if its what they need? Then you do it
Congrats you scouse fucker, we have sorted the business….now lets sort that hair do eh? 🙂
Dan ‘strategic arsehole’ Meredith
P.S. Will you look at the fucking traps on her! I did all the above risking a kicking and a half I tell you!read more
Don’t Miss Your Chance To Try
For a big lump, I can be an emotional bugger.
Shit can set me off and you will see this bearded lump swallowing faster than a professional porker at at all you can eat in 10 minutes challenge!
(I won’t be able to make eye contact for fuck as well ha)
I was at Ollie’s wedding (and am not tagging him in case this sets HIM off) and its the day after his wedding.
I’m sat here trying not to look like a misty eyed nut job writing this on the bloody train, but next to Ollie on the head table was a picture of his Dad who sadly passed away some years ago – and a large part of his speech was dedicated to his memory, and how proud he was of him and what he learnt.
(and If you have bought/read my book, you know my thoughts on death)
We are all colouring in the squares, there is only so many left.
Don’t let yours – or someone else’s squares run out with regrets in you
Want to tell the world your ideas
Tell the world
Want to write your book
Write your book
Want to apologise for past misdeeds?
I can’t stress this enough, the amount of people I know who have regrets in them and they miss the chance to try, lose out on an opportunity because they were too embarrassed to put themselves forward, or lost the love of their life because they were too pig headed to apologise for fucking up = many
Case in point, I fell out with someone in a business and personal capacity with someone a little over a year ago. Not one to dwell on things, but I missed this persons chats and they were a good friend
It took one text
ditching the ego
Swallowing ones pride
We are on the way back to being good friends again (and we have a year of ‘content’ to catch up on too!)
Me and my best friend at Uni fell out on a drunken night out – we didn’t speak for 10 fucking years! Such a waste – until HE reached out to me and offered an olive branch – and ever since then (and he is one TOUGH mother fucker, like terrifyingly tough) is HE can do it?
So can I
And so can you
Its a bank holiday today in the UK, and after Gary V, the impromptu (genuinely – big papa Nige left a review so I had to kick it off 2 weeks early!) so after I have clicked ‘post’ I am going to take some time to reflect
I’m going to write out on this fucking bastard long train journey they things I’ve wanted to do
I’ve been too scared to do
The bridges I wish to rebuild
The new bridges I want to build
I’m going to tell some people I missed them
I’m going to tell a few people I’m sorry
I’m going to give a few people a non judgmental open platform to say sorry to me
I’m going to tell those who I love, that I love them
What I’m NOT going to do, is go to my eventual (and hopefully quite far away) grave knowing that I didn’t try
So my challenge to you, is to take an hour or so – have a think about what YOU would regret if you DIDN’T do it
And for once don’t argue
Don’t say ‘i needed this’
Don’t leave me a like or a nice comment or like UNLESS you fucking go out there and DO it
I won’t won’t its bloody hard, and some (especially those you have hurt, or they have hurt you) will require some iron will – but trust me on this, its a great way to live life
Don’t leave the songs that are in you unsung
Don’t leave the words in you unwritten
Don’t leave how you feel in your head
Don’t let your masterpiece stay on the drawing board
Honestly its never, EVER too late to make big changes – until it IS too late
So go the fuck out there and just DO
let me know how it goes…
*mic drop*read more
Want To Change The World? Here We Go!
Me and a good friend of mine have a good laugh seeing social updates like
‘OMG OMG I HAVE AN IDEA THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD – JUST YOU WATCH THIS SPACE’
World stays relatively the same
Thing is what a lot of people don’t get as you get further along in your career, unless you are a towering arsehole you often become friends with people who – to all intents and purposes – are your competitors
The person we referenced in our chat has reached out to me, my friend here (and a few others multiple times) and NEVER pulled the trigger on anything
Hence, nearly two years since I first came across this person, they are still doing the same thing
Hopping from mentor to coach to system to mastermind
Yet still doing what they were doing 2 years ago
Im not sure about you, but 2 years seems like a lot of time to waste doesn’t it?
So why not try this
Pick ONE coach -do exactly what they say
Pick ONE course – implement the fuck out of it
Pick ONE group – learn all you can from it
Pick ONE business book – implement the big idea
Just try it
I know for a fact I HAVE to learn from multiple places as its my job to bring what I know, to you
However, unlike the person we were having a friendly giggle at, I will implement like fucking crazy
Imperfect action beats ideas every damned time
There is a a reason I keep using the phrase ‘go balls deep’
Firstly, its VERY enjoyable 😉
Secondly get a rough idea of what you need to do, get some quick research done and just fucking go for it
The amount of things I have done (my gym, this, WED, mastermind, event, books, speaking) that I have NEVER done before – but got the basics dialled in and then just pulled the trigger
Trust me if you start DOING more than THINKING
You will be amazed where you will be 2 years time
Not saving the lizard people for starters….
PS nothing against the vegans, you know me and that woo woo bollocks though 😉read more
Sometimes It’s Okay To Be Proud
Now and then you deserve to celebrate the successes
I won’t say who in case anyone knows this person, but I have a frightening talented person in my world who doesn’t celebrate the wins often
Yet they are bloody brilliant at what they do
I don’t think it’s good sport to run anyone’s noses in it, but if you work your ass off, make sacrifices, put in the work and have invested time and effort into your skills?
When you get a a win, a high, a goal achieved
You have every right to celebrate
You do deserve it
You are worthy
We haven’t chosen the most easy ride when it comes to work – yes the nights are brilliant but the lows are bloody awful
So when you get a win?
This week I will celebrate with Franc Feliu, my PLATS, my espresso members, my friends, my family because I’ve worked my arse off to get here
You do deserve good things in life
You do deserve success/money/happiness/health
Whatever it is you want
You put in the effort, you should be able to reap the rewardsread more
Quick And Dirty Videos
To say I was stunned at the reaction I’ve had to my talk is an understatement
Humbled really doesn’t do it justice
I was brutally honest and said that I didn’t know often what I was doing – until AFTER I had done it
Bit of reverse engineering and good to go
One think that a surprisingly large amount of people were uncomfortable with, or simply don’t do is video
Mark Whitehand has a great storytelling method, and has filmed me and my friends and done an amazing job
But as much as you can learn from the guy, if you want THAT magic?
You need to hire him
However I taught a group of 100+ people a quick and dirty way to:
– communicate with your audience
– create compelling stories using infotainment
– basic set up that makes you look professional
Firstly start brainstorming ideas. Either carry a notepad or have a little Evernote on your phone and every time you get an idea for something you could teach your audience
Wrote it down
Get a stack of them together to start with, then when you have 30+, pick one and write it down in a post it note or piece of card at the top
Next write 3-5 bullet points that are in line with the topic underneath
If you are holding the phone, clamp this between your fingers and the phone so you can use the selfie camera and still see the points
I’m now a HUGE fan of doing this LIVESTREAM now
Because the fear of fucking up, doing it over and over again, and then NOT doing it is simple removed
Live in 3…2…1 and your on
Trust me this helps you ‘get over’ the problems you have NOT doing this, because you have just announced to your audience
Remember your audience are your audience because YOU have skill, value and something useful to share
But for the love of God do NOT hard teach – as a rule it needs to have a good story of two, be infotaining and you want to demonstrate your value but also keep people’s attention and enjoy their time with you
If you can evoke emotion?
Even better too
Don’t try and be someone you are not, enjoy it, keep it simple (3-5 key takeaways), don’t over think it – and practice
Like do this every day for 30 days
Every day WITHOUT FAIL
And I guarantee you in a month your audience will be more connected to you, you will of added value and, your reach will of grown and you probably will of made some sales too
Getting over yourself quite a good thing eh? 😉read more
A Challenge For You
You have, if I remember correctly, 0.3 of a seconds to grabs someone’s attention on social media.
Caught my attention!
Now the lady in question, Elisa, is a very successful relationship coach….and the REST of the message was very useful advice, interesting, and gave insight into what she does for people around the world.
But without that headline?
Would I of stopped?
Would anyone else of stopped?
No, whether you agree – or disagree (you know the rules, be fucking nice!) – with what was said, you have to hand it to her – a very smart move. Even if you read it; and think;
‘You cheeky fuck’
When you read the REST of the copy? It ‘undoes’ any negative feelings you may of had.
Like I said, smart
Also, I am a HUGE fan of cheekiness, humour and infotainment and this ticks all the boxes.
So my challenge to you:
If you dare
I want you to write a post that is:
– possibly polarising
– ‘stops you in your tracks copy’
– with a congruent image
TRY – to grab someone’s attention and bring them into your world
- Don’t fake it
- Don’t try be someone your not
- Be YOU – But be a BOLD version of you
- Make an offer
- See if you can get someone in your world
See what happens?
When you have done it post up below….read more
When Was The Last Time You Invested In Yourself?
Yesterday, fuck me what a crazy day
I think there is something about NYC that gets me all excited
It’s a crazy city
The people are amped
The skyline makes me happy
Makes me realise how far I’ve come
From the tilapia and oats days
To looking out across the city, from a fancy big ole car
You can always do better
You can always do more
You can always improve
You can always be a better asshole 😉
The point of this post
Well, whatever it is you are doing – when was the last time you invested in your skills, your knowledge or your abilities?
Or have you been ticking along with what you know?
I’m about to speak to a room of online coaches, who have travels from all over the world to up level their skills
When was the last time you invested in yourself?
An Insight Into My Special Mind
What limitations do you put on yourself?
Are you telling yourself you can’t do something?
Is someone else telling you that you can’t do something?
Have you been brought up to think you can’t do something?
Sat here in cost, listening to ‘Zombie’ by Breed 77, and the line that i keep hearing over and over again
‘its in your head, its in your head’
Really, it is!
I’ll share a little something, I truly used to suffer badly with being able to switch off. In fact, when I hurt my back the only time I ever got my brain to ‘shut up’ was heaven because I was checking myself out with Valium every evening to lessen the pain.
(hence the term I came up with ‘Ambivalent’ which I think is kinda cool)
I couldn’t sleep when I was a kid unless I had the TV or radio on quietly as it would distract my mind enough to drift off.
In fact, until my early 30’s I would still have to fall asleep listening to some stand up comedy, podcast or music of simply I would like there and think
Honestly, I truly thought it was going to drive me insane.
But do you know what the most insidious ‘voice’ was?
The thoughts that I would never **something** – key highlights include:
– lose weight
– have money
– get strong
– have a girlfriend
– die alone
– fail my family
^^^ I lost track of the little bastards to be honest, but imagine that. Every day, your own bloody brain telling you than you weren’t good enough.
Grey little twat.
(why I poisoned him with the detailed potatoes for so long ha)
But ultimately we have a choice to make:
- To listen to the voices in our (not like that, I’m nuts but not ‘proper’ – well yet anyways lol), the voices from others, from society, our fronds, our family, our partners our colleaguesor
- We have a choice NOT to listen
As, the large gentleman on this picture proclaims:
Some of the most successful people I have met of course worked hard, leveled up their skills, put the hours in – but equally there is something that I wish, i truly wish I had know so many years ago:
‘It truly is your choice’
You don’t have to ask for anyone’s permission to do anything when you are a ‘grown up’
Go take it!
Now I’m NOT saying fuck someone over – but I’m trying to say if there is something you want to do, someone you want to pitch to, someone you want to ask out, something you want to launch?
Beast, or bitch
Your choice…..read more
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