Coffee With Dan

For a big lump, I can be an emotional bugger.

Shit can set me off and you will see this bearded lump swallowing faster than a professional porker at at all you can eat in 10 minutes challenge!

(I won’t be able to make eye contact for fuck as well ha)

I was at Ollie’s wedding (and am not tagging him in case this sets HIM off) and its the day after his wedding.

I’m sat here trying not to look like a misty eyed nut job writing this on the bloody train, but next to Ollie on the head table was a picture of his Dad who sadly passed away some years ago – and a large part of his speech was dedicated to his memory, and how proud he was of him and what he learnt.

(and If you have bought/read my book, you know my thoughts on death)

We are all colouring in the squares, there is only so many left.

Don’t let yours – or someone else’s squares run out with regrets in you

Love someone?
Tell them

Miss someone?
Reach out

Want to tell the world your ideas
Tell the world

Want to write your book
Write your book

Want to apologise for past misdeeds?
Apologise

Broke something
Fix it

I can’t stress this enough, the amount of people I know who have regrets in them and they miss the chance to try, lose out on an opportunity because they were too embarrassed to put themselves forward, or lost the love of their life because they were too pig headed to apologise for fucking up = many

Case in point, I fell out with someone in a business and personal capacity with someone a little over a year ago. Not one to dwell on things, but I missed this persons chats and they were a good friend

It took one text

ditching the ego

Swallowing ones pride

And now?

We are on the way back to being good friends again (and we have a year of ‘content’ to catch up on too!)

Me and my best friend at Uni fell out on a drunken night out – we didn’t speak for 10 fucking years! Such a waste – until HE reached out to me and offered an olive branch – and ever since then (and he is one TOUGH mother fucker, like terrifyingly tough) is HE can do it?

So can I

And so can you

Its a bank holiday today in the UK, and after Gary V, the impromptu (genuinely – big papa Nige left a review so I had to kick it off 2 weeks early!) so after I have clicked ‘post’ I am going to take some time to reflect

I’m going to write out on this fucking bastard long train journey they things I’ve wanted to do

I’ve been too scared to do

The bridges I wish to rebuild

The new bridges I want to build

I’m going to tell some people I missed them

I’m going to tell a few people I’m sorry

I’m going to give a few people a non judgmental open platform to say sorry to me

I’m going to tell those who I love, that I love them

What I’m NOT going to do, is go to my eventual (and hopefully quite far away) grave knowing that I didn’t try

So my challenge to you, is to take an hour or so – have a think about what YOU would regret if you DIDN’T do it

And for once don’t argue

Don’t say ‘i needed this’

Don’t leave me a like or a nice comment or like UNLESS you fucking go out there and DO it

Seriously

I won’t won’t its bloody hard, and some (especially those you have hurt, or they have hurt you) will require some iron will – but trust me on this, its a great way to live life

Don’t leave the songs that are in you unsung

Don’t leave the words in you unwritten

Don’t leave how you feel in your head

Don’t let your masterpiece stay on the drawing board

Honestly its never, EVER too late to make big changes – until it IS too late

So go the fuck out there and just DO

let me know how it goes…

*mic drop*

Me and a good friend of mine have a good laugh seeing social updates like

‘OMG OMG I HAVE AN IDEA THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD – JUST YOU WATCH THIS SPACE’

We watch

Nothing happens

World stays relatively the same

Thing is what a lot of people don’t get as you get further along in your career, unless you are a towering arsehole you often become friends with people who – to all intents and purposes – are your competitors

The person we referenced in our chat has reached out to me, my friend here (and a few others multiple times) and NEVER pulled the trigger on anything

Hence, nearly two years since I first came across this person, they are still doing the same thing

Hopping from mentor to coach to system to mastermind

Yet still doing what they were doing 2 years ago

Im not sure about you, but 2 years seems like a lot of time to waste doesn’t it?

So why not try this

Pick ONE coach -do exactly what they say

Pick ONE course – implement the fuck out of it

Pick ONE group – learn all you can from it

Pick ONE business book – implement the big idea

Just try it

I know for a fact I HAVE to learn from multiple places as its my job to bring what I know, to you

However, unlike the person we were having a friendly giggle at, I will implement like fucking crazy

Imperfect action beats ideas every damned time

There is a a reason I keep using the phrase ‘go balls deep’

Firstly, its VERY enjoyable 😉

Secondly get a rough idea of what you need to do, get some quick research done and just fucking go for it

The amount of things I have done (my gym, this, WED, mastermind, event, books, speaking) that I have NEVER done before – but got the basics dialled in and then just pulled the trigger

All in

Balls deep

Trust me if you start DOING more than THINKING

You will be amazed where you will be 2 years time

Not saving the lizard people for starters….

PS nothing against the vegans, you know me and that woo woo bollocks though 😉

Now and then you deserve to celebrate the successes

I won’t say who in case anyone knows this person, but I have a frightening talented person in my world who doesn’t celebrate the wins often

Yet they are bloody brilliant at what they do

I don’t think it’s good sport to run anyone’s noses in it, but if you work your ass off, make sacrifices, put in the work and have invested time and effort into your skills?

When you get a a win, a high, a goal achieved

You have every right to celebrate

You do deserve it

You are worthy

We haven’t chosen the most easy ride when it comes to work – yes the nights are brilliant but the lows are bloody awful

So when you get a win?

You celebrate

This week I will celebrate with Franc Feliu, my PLATS, my espresso members, my friends, my family because I’ve worked my arse off to get here

You do deserve good things in life

You do deserve success/money/happiness/health

Whatever it is you want

You put in the effort, you should be able to reap the rewards

To say I was stunned at the reaction I’ve had to my talk is an understatement

Humbled really doesn’t do it justice

I was brutally honest and said that I didn’t know often what I was doing – until AFTER I had done it

Bit of reverse engineering and good to go

One think that a surprisingly large amount of people were uncomfortable with, or simply don’t do is video

Mark Whitehand has a great storytelling method, and has filmed me and my friends and done an amazing job

But as much as you can learn from the guy, if you want THAT magic?

You need to hire him

However I taught a group of 100+ people a quick and dirty way to:

– communicate with your audience

– create compelling stories using infotainment

– basic set up that makes you look professional

Firstly start brainstorming ideas. Either carry a notepad or have a little Evernote on your phone and every time you get an idea for something you could teach your audience

Wrote it down

Get a stack of them together to start with, then when you have 30+, pick one and write it down in a post it note or piece of card at the top

Next write 3-5 bullet points that are in line with the topic underneath

If you are holding the phone, clamp this between your fingers and the phone so you can use the selfie camera and still see the points

Press record

Go

I’m now a HUGE fan of doing this LIVESTREAM now

Why?

Because the fear of fucking up, doing it over and over again, and then NOT doing it is simple removed

Live in 3…2…1 and your on

Trust me this helps you ‘get over’ the problems you have NOT doing this, because you have just announced to your audience

Remember your audience are your audience because YOU have skill, value and something useful to share

But for the love of God do NOT hard teach – as a rule it needs to have a good story of two, be infotaining and you want to demonstrate your value but also keep people’s attention and enjoy their time with you

If you can evoke emotion?

Even better too

Don’t try and be someone you are not, enjoy it, keep it simple (3-5 key takeaways), don’t over think it – and practice

Like do this every day for 30 days

Every day WITHOUT FAIL

And I guarantee you in a month your audience will be more connected to you, you will of added value and, your reach will of grown and you probably will of made some sales too

Getting over yourself quite a good thing eh? 😉

You have, if I remember correctly, 0.3 of a seconds to grabs someone’s attention on social media.

This…

Caught my attention!

Now the lady in question, Elisa, is a very successful relationship coach….and the REST of the message was very useful advice, interesting, and gave insight into what she does for people around the world.

But without that headline?

Would I of stopped?

Would anyone else of stopped?

Who knows?

No, whether you agree – or disagree (you know the rules, be fucking nice!) – with what was said, you have to hand it to her – a very smart move. Even if you read it; and think;

‘You cheeky fuck’

When you read the REST of the copy? It ‘undoes’ any negative feelings you may of had.

Like I said, smart

Also, I am a HUGE fan of cheekiness, humour and infotainment and this ticks all the boxes.

So my challenge to you:

If you dare

I want you to write a post that is:

– bold

– possibly polarising

– ‘stops you in your tracks copy’

– with a congruent image

TRY – to grab someone’s attention and bring them into your world

• Don’t fake it
• Don’t try be someone your not
• Be YOU – But be a BOLD version of you
• Make an offer
• See if you can get someone in your world

See what happens?

When you have done it post up below….

Saw this on a site, and don’t think it could sum me any easier

You?

Yesterday, fuck me what a crazy day

I think there is something about NYC that gets me all excited

It’s a crazy city

The people are amped

The skyline makes me happy

Makes me realise how far I’ve come

From the tilapia and oats days

To looking out across the city, from a fancy big ole car

You can always do better

You can always do more

You can always improve

You can always be a better asshole 😉

The point of this post

Well, whatever it is you are doing – when was the last time you invested in your skills, your knowledge or your abilities?

Or have you been ticking along with what you know?

I’m about to speak to a room of online coaches, who have travels from all over the world to up level their skills

When was the last time you invested in yourself?

Am

Intrigued…..

What limitations do you put on yourself?

Are you telling yourself you can’t do something?

Is someone else telling you that you can’t do something?

Have you been brought up to think you can’t do something?

Sat here in cost, listening to ‘Zombie’ by Breed 77, and the line that i keep hearing over and over again

‘its in your head, its in your head’

Really, it is!

I’ll share a little something, I truly used to suffer badly with being able to switch off. In fact, when I hurt my back the only time I ever got my brain to ‘shut up’ was heaven because I was checking myself out with Valium every evening to lessen the pain.

(hence the term I came up with ‘Ambivalent’ which I think is kinda cool)

I couldn’t sleep when I was a kid unless I had the TV or radio on quietly as it would distract my mind enough to drift off.

In fact, until my early 30’s I would still have to fall asleep listening to some stand up comedy, podcast or music of simply I would like there and think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Fucking think

Honestly, I truly thought it was going to drive me insane.

But do you know what the most insidious ‘voice’ was?

The thoughts that I would never **something** – key highlights include:

– lose weight

– have money

– get strong

– have a girlfriend

– die alone

– fail my family

^^^ I lost track of the little bastards to be honest, but imagine that. Every day, your own bloody brain telling you than you weren’t good enough.

Grey little twat.

(why I poisoned him with the detailed potatoes for so long ha)

But ultimately we have a choice to make:

1. To listen to the voices in our (not like that, I’m nuts but not ‘proper’ – well yet anyways lol), the voices from others, from society, our fronds, our family, our partners our colleaguesor
2. We have a choice NOT to listen

As, the large gentleman on this picture proclaims:

Fuck

Average

Some of the most successful people I have met of course worked hard, leveled up their skills, put the hours in – but equally there is something that I wish, i truly wish I had know so many years ago:

‘It truly is your choice’

You don’t have to ask for anyone’s permission to do anything when you are a ‘grown up’

Want something?

Go take it!

Now I’m NOT saying fuck someone over – but I’m trying to say if there is something you want to do, someone you want to pitch to, someone you want to ask out, something you want to launch?

Just fucking

Beast, or bitch

Your choice…..

How many times have you had something like this happen to you:

– Will you promote X for me

– I want you to introduce me to Y

– Tell me how you did Z in your business

But

They have

– never connected with you before (this is their first discussion with you)

– never invested a penny with you

– are SOLELY looking out for themselves, and see you as a ‘stepping stone’ to what they need

You all know I like a bit of filth – but I really couldn’t think of a better analogy.

Its not enjoyable, its uncomfortable and can be pretty painful for both parties.

I don’t know if some people are just ignorant, or it doesn’t even cross their mind that what you have spent thousands of hours and pounds getting good at….

…they think you will happily give them for free?

So I made a simple little check list that makes this a little more ‘spit heavy’

1) Make friends with people

Not hard, connect, have genuine conversations, get to know one another.

2) Give before you ask

Want someone to do something for you? Well do something for them first. DON’T expect them to repay the favour, but offering to help, give your time, introduce them to someone, or ‘hook them up’ always is a good place to start

3) Value THEIR time and expertise

If they are really good at something, it will of probably cost them a fair bit of time & money to get there. Think about what you are going to say before you say it. Little bit of tact goes a long way

4) Pay them

If I have invested in someone, I feel a lot more comfortable asking for someone. The people in PLAT, my private clients, ESPRESSO WITH DAN peeps and anyone who has paid for my time get FIRST priority

Why? Because it’s the right thing to do

So next time you are looking for a cheeky leg up, an intro, or something that’s just out of your grasp?

A little bit of saliva goes a long way….