Coffee With Dan

Day 3 – what are you grateful for?

Today I’m grateful for my mum

This year has been quite frankly one I didn’t expect; and last night I’m not going to lie I was I. A bit of a funk

FB memories showed us as a family together at centre Parcs for the last time, and seeing dad pottering away in the background hit hard 

As much as I’ve spoken about dad

Mum?

She is the rock we all relied on and the glue that kept it together

She has a 40 year old manchild to contend with and full time care of my sister too

Yet she still finds time to make me smile and be there for me every day

She is an amazing woman

I’ve never ever known her to let anyone down, and her kindness and compassion are off the charts 

I’m very lucky to have such an amazing family and grateful that my teeny little mother has been there for me my whole life

Thanks mum

And what about you? What are your grateful for today?

PS ‘Rawdogging’ with dan will be tonight and my ‘PAIN’ will done once I’ve coached my clients; they come first weds and Thursday 

I ain’t cheating

(Mun would know and tell me off for telling porkies if I did lol)

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Day #2

What are you grateful for?

Today I am grateful for my friends 

Doing what I do it’s actually quite hard to make friends especially as a man over 30 

That and if I meet someone via the world I work I’m there’s quite often an agenda of what that can get out of me 

I have a handful of true, loyal, kind friends who have been there for me through thick and thin and actually make an effort 

You don’t need lots

If you have a small band of loyal humans who have your back and they have yours your rich AF

And what about you?

What are you grateful today

(The ‘pain’ element will be coming later if I don’t prove I did the miserable cardio give me shit)

Over to you…

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30 days of gratitude/30 days of pain – intro post & Day #1

Yesterday I floated the idea of doing a daily ‘gratitude’ exercise 

Now before you think I’ve gone all floaty, one of the things I’ve been aggressively doubling down on is my mindfulness

Had some chest pains lately (I’m getting them checked out don’t worry had two lil heart attacks already and I’m NAILZ lol) hence I’ve been doing things such as:

– Phone free time

– Meditation (via my MUSE)

– More nature 

– Cutting back coffee/stimulants 

– Exploring ways to be more mindful 

The whole gratitude exercise thing?

Honestly was pretty dubious about it but have seen loads of articles and this snippet stood out

‘When we express gratitude and receive the same, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the two crucial neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions, and they make us feel ‘good’. They enhance our mood immediately, making us feel happy from the inside.’

I don’t know about you but I could do with some more happy chemicals eh?

So fuck it 

Thoughts I’d give it a try

(The article is is the first comment, was looking up some stuff on dealing with grief and found it https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/ )

BUT

With a twist

Aka

PAIN!

I fucking HATE cardio

It’s mule

I’ve love lifting heavy things – and I’m quote good at it but cardio just sucks balls

I’m lucky enough to have a home gym with a fancy bike so thought what I would do is this

1. Wake up 

2. Regret doing this challenge immediately 

3. Quit being a whiny bitch and do the bastard cardio 

4. Write a post in here with what I’m grateful for that day

5. Screenshot my exercise and post in the comments as proof 

6. Repeat for 30 days

And then YOU, ever day if you like, join along with me

Not with the pain bit, that’s just me being a sadistic fucker lol

But with what YOU are grateful for 

Look, I know right now there may not seem much to be grateful for, but if you take a moment to look you will find something – no matter how small

And besides, giving it a go for 30 days can’t hurt can it?

Right with that in mind:

I am grateful for this wonderful community that I am proud to serve; it literally brings joy to my life and I am honoured you chose to be here and proud of it and what we have achieved 

Right, now it’s your turn

What are YOU grateful for?

GO!

And the links in comment #1, the screenshot of bastard misery – aka the proof of my exercise – will be in the comments soon

If you don’t see one every day give me shit!

PS will be using the same image (the sunset) every day, and my goal is to get it done first thing (the gratitude) then a spite filled rage of Lycra and sweat

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Reconnect with the you that you used to be before life bent you over and went in dry

2020 has been, quite frankly, a pile of wank at points

We all have our own stories and bullshit that we have had to endure; for losing dad was the jizz encrusted crap coated cherry on the shit Sunday I’ve been forced to eat spoonful after smelly spoonful 

And I’m still smiling 

Life/business/relationships/humans/the market/governments/the planet/our thoughts and god knows what else will – at time’s – give you a good seeing too

And sometimes there’s fuck all you can do about it 

One thing that stops me turning into a miserable, depressed, angry fuck wit is doing the things that little dan (#lol) used to do that made him happy

Being a silly sausage on the seaside, unathletically climbing rocks, having a filthy steak & Stilton pasty + some great giggles with even greater humans – for me – sorts me right out

Honestly I think I have every right to be a miserable shit this year

It’s been a fucker

But I’m not and one of the ways I keep happy is things like I’ve said above

Life’s gonna give you a savage ‘bumming’ sometimes but it’s up to you if you let it get you down

To help combat it you’ll often find the simplest things give you the greatest pleasures and when you reconnect with what makes you truly happy you can endure a lot more than you think you can and come out the other side grinning

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Don’t be sad that your star is fading, be grateful that you ever got to shine in the first place…

***LET ME PREFACE THIS****

I wrote this four years ago when I was mentally in a different place

Since Dad has passed I’ve been looking at my life and business and relationships and realising how far I’ve come yet how far I have to go 

Super happy I’ve ‘stayed the course’ but there’s some shit I still need to do and this reminded me

I hope it inspires you to make a change 

***BACK TO 2016 DAN***

In 4 years, all being well – I’ll be gone.

And one day, your star too will fade, and only a few of us will ‘make it out alive’…but I’ll explain that in just a tic

Lets face facts, one day you won’t be here anymore – none of us will – and all what we create, within a relatively short period of time in the earths excistance….wont mean fuck all.

And thats ok 

Right now though, we ARE here – and if you are reading this then you can – and likely do – make a great contribution to your family, audience, clients, and maybe one day the world

Yet, there are some people that really need to have a word with themselves.

People say stuff like:

‘I can’t do what you do Dan’

‘There is no way I could share some of the things you do’

‘My friends and family would think Ive gone mad if I tried to do what you did’

And so on…

I’ll let you into a little secret – If I could have ANYTHING I wanted, wave magic wand, all dreams fulfilled and everything I ever wanted, do you know what I would want?

Really?!

Is to be left alone.

Put me on an island with food, the internet (because Netflix and memes), ALL the books, a jet ski, some great tunes and I would be happy as a pig in shit.

(and maybe a pretty lady time to time ha)

But I can’t do that.

I have a big goal that involves my family and Anna’s care, and I fully intend to help THOUSANDS of ‘Anna’s’ around the world, if not more so.

Equally, it appears I have a ‘gift’(and yes if you are wondering I am fucking cringing writing that) when it comes to inspiring people to create change in their life  – whether that is business or personal or some mess-up hybrid of the two.

I didn’t ask to be good at it.

But I am.

I don’t want to lead.

But I do.

Naturally I am quiet, shy, introverted and happy in a room on my own.

But thats not who I am now.

Ive been willing to make the sacrifices to be THIS Dan to do what I do now.

And really, howow fucking selfish of me would it be to NOT help people if you have a gift, talent or ability?

In my opinion, very.

Which is why I get a ferocious level of rage when I hear of people bitching, slagging off and generally being nasty little fuck bags behind peoples backs to the point that honestly I think the gene pool needs a drop of chlorine in it – when all many of these (good IMO) people are doing is to try and make their own way in the world, and as much of a difference as they can.

Now, the 4 year ‘thing’.

I said by 40, I would have ‘made it’ and will give my all to the world; making as many sacrifices as I had to – including being ME on social media every day, even when I don’t want to.

You see Im a realist

I have NO idea how long my ‘star’ will shine.

You will find that some people want to and WILL hate on you because THEIR star is fading, or it never ‘shone’ in the first place: they don’t have your level of success, they are jealous, they are no longer the ‘catch of the day’, they ‘could of been you if they had the opportunities you had.

Etc.

Etc. 

Its a sad state of affairs when people you once looked up to and rated become more akin to children in a playground with petty squabbles and ‘your not my friend anymore’ just because you are doing well, dancing to your own beat and doing – what you see – as your best.

Hence by 40?

I want to be done.

I want to be in a position where I can grow and mentor the next round of ‘Dans’ and focus my energy on the next phase of my growth both business wise and personal.

Between now and then?

I will give my all and do everything I can to lead, inspire, develop and grow YOU – if you want me to that is – to the best of my abilities even though it is harder than you think for me to show up.

And show up every.

Single.

Day.

Let me tell you something.

I was inspired to write this after a conversation with one of a handful of people who’s opinion I will actually respect and listen to.

Lets face  it, on the surface – in the last 4 weeks and since Ive moved to Brighton?

Ive changed.

But thats the surface.

I used to quieten the dark side, the fucking fucker, with Alcohol, and I did that every day (and now Im proud to say nearly 4 weeks without anything or wanting a think)

But the darkness?  

Its still there.

Its always going to be there, and I do now have a handle on it – but I have removed the one thing that gave me peace; I realised that ’that’ side of me needed a new outlet.

Hence, throwing myself into work, helping people, growing others as well as my own businesses in a foreclose way lately

Work?

In all honesty keeps me sane.

Someone once said (after spending time with me and seeing me work) that my energy is like rocket fuel.

It burns fast.

It burns bright.

Its powerful.

Buts like rocket fuel it burns out FAST.

I never, being 100% transparent, thought I would live long. I had looked into people who had a lifestyle like had, and in all honesty I thought I had 10-15 years on the old Dan clock.

Not that long eh?

Since I have a new and rekindled lust for life, I want to live longer.

I want to shine as bright as I fucking can 

And I won’t let ANY fucker dim my light

But, Im conscious that with the intensity I ‘shine’ at, I can’t do this forever…so 4 years.

4 years to make as much as a difference.

4 years to make PLANET DAN a thing.

4 years to make a difference.

Then….pivot.

What after that? I have NO fucking idea…but I do know however long I get to share my light with the world – whatever fate has in store for me – ill burn bright right to the end, mark my words.

And to you?

Well you might be on the start of your journey, this may be baby steps…early days…

You could of been grinding away for year after year and only now starting to get some traction…

My advice?

Its your ‘star’

You know how much fuel you have left to burn – do you want to dimly illuminate a room or light it the fuck up?

Only you can choose.

Good luck

Dan

PS to the person who inspired me to write this? Thank you for having my back and keeping me here. Love ya.

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HOW TO DO ALL OF THE THINGS WHEN YOU CANT DO ONE OF THE THINGS (lessons from 2018 Dan)

Riiiiiiiight 

This is something I see all the bloody time and coming from someone who WANTS TO DO ALL OF THE THINGS ALL OF THE TIME LOL LETS BUY A NERF GUN YAY COFFEE OOOH LETS GO FOR A MOTORBIKE RIDE 

1. Find a human (ideally one who has a) done the thing you have done before or b) is patient AF and will deal with your busy assed brain)

2. Tell said human ALL OF THE THINGS that you need to do. Get them to write it down 

3. Bugger off for a bit, do something, crack one-off, have a nap, ride your motorbike like a fucking mental patient (whatever tickles your pickle)

4. Read ya list figure out the shit that makes you money NOW, thats a priority – do that 

5. Then look at the lost and figure out which shit is doing ya fucking head in and if you just got rid of the bastards you could CTFO – do then 

6. Repeat 4 & 5 over and over again 

7. ALL THE WINS 

I wish it was more complicated but you simply need a spare human, some paper and to stop being a plum and DO SHIT

*******back to 2020 Dan********

All of the above?

Still true but what I have found to work for my clients now is:

1 – they tell me all their things 

2 – I them what to do (3-5 things tops)

3 – layer that weekly and increase volume

4 – tell them no more than yes (if busy brained) and inspire/motivate/punishment/rewards if need to do more work

Simple 

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What would you recommend to someone who wants to be a life coach

Now before I go ANY further…

BE NICE

Lol

There’s a LOT of coaches in here and yes, I DO still believe what I said in my book – that personally I think you have to have lived a life (and probably fucked up a bit time to time to learn some lessons lol) 

But an old school friend reached out and they want to do this PROPERLY 

They are looking to invested in some acredited courses, as well as books 

I would class them as a ‘natural’

What I mean by that is some coaches are book/course taught and some people are just naturally good at getting the best out of people

I fall into the latter but did some trainings etc just to polish me off

I’ve given my advice

Anything you would add for them to truly make a success of this?

They are very human focussed and is the person everyone goes to for help

I said why not make a few quid out of it too

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What apps CANT you live without now? (Drop a screenshot below)

These are mine

Productive is perhaps one of the most elegant and simple habit forming apps I’ve used

(And I’ve tried a LOT)

It’s very intuitive and after a few weeks of back/forth I now have a morning/daytime/evening routine NAILED that is keeping me on track

My goals are more health/wellness related atm but I will be using it for business

The second one is GoWod

I’ve moaned about being inflexible for AGES and bought several routines and programmes – but found them a bit repetitive and didnt ‘grab’ me as much as I like

GoWod caters for my need for change (it gives me different routines every time) and now after 5 weeks – combined with my other modalities – I am pain free in areas that have been causing me shit for years 

What about you? 

What apps should your fellow entrepreneurs know about?

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Reconnect with nature, disconnect from life and come back swinging

Lately I’ve been mildly obsessed with my mindfulness

I’m pretty good at such things, but part of the healing ive been doing post the goats passing is has been throwing myself into how to be a better dan

From business to life to relationships to health to happiness – learning what works and applying it to my life (so I can share it with you) has become a happy little obsession 

I’ll be sharing what I find works as I test it on me, and get results

Whether than be things that grow my bank account of brain

– I’ll share here –

I’m tracking results/data where I can but the first one I wanted to share is (as long as you can travel/get acces to it) has been one of the simplest and cheapest ones that has had a profound effect on me

It’s simply getting back into nature

We have – as a species – disconnected so much from the natural world it’s a bit scary

We spend so much time away from plants and trees and animals and rocks and seas it’s a bit worrying

I’ve read a few books on this lately; there’s some product studies that show the negative effects from not being – time to time – in the natural world…

…and some profound effects of being in it

For me?

Downloading some songs that put me in a good mood (certain songs tend trigger me about 

), banging my phone into airplane mode and just wandering around a forest or park or seashore

– whatever you have – 

Just find Green n blue shit And get amongst it

It’s been shown to be super beneficial for your mental health, happiness, it’s great for kids and your health overall

That and I tend to have so many ideas and get so much clarity when I go adventuring in the shrubbery and what have you

Really please give it a go, like I said above, it has so many carry overs to all areas of your life 

– feel free to bring a positive human as well –

Costs so little

Pays out so much

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