• The Basics of List Building

    BUILD YA GOD DAMN LIST (or not, like whatever…)

    Right we all know social media shat itself yesterday – I for one didn’t mind the peace for a few hours

    🙂

    No doubt you will of seen plenty of people banging on about not relying on one platform

    Facebook isn’t going anywhere….

    Instagram isn’t going anywhere…

    Etc

    Etc

    Now if you say or do dumb stuff on THEIR platform!?

    Y’all gonna be banned and IF that’s ya sole way of making money

    Probs gonna be a bit fucked innit

    🙃

    I ADORE social media I think it’s fucking amazing and one of the easiest and quickest ways to get a business and brand up and running

    You can connect with all the humans you desire, it needs nothing more than a connected smartphone and you’re good to go

    How we do email?

    Is SMART

    The content on FB is custom (I pretty much do custom content for every platform every day)

    So is our email list

    70-75% of ALL our sales?

    Email

    Now social media backs that up and as a content marketing medium it’s awesome; plus it helps hammer down the know like and trust thang

    Email and social media go together hand in hand

    Sure you can have just one

    But why wouldn’t you have both working together

    If social media goes tits up it’s gonna be back pretty damn quick so you need to not panic if it goes down

    (go read a book/have a wank/talk to a human…whatever lol)

    Email is epic but you’re inboxes are busy and you do need a bit of practice to stand out

    Email and social media together?

    That’s GANGSTER

    That’s why we teach you how to build and add an email list, along with how to market it in EWD (espresso with Dan)

    Tega has put together an absolute BELTER of a training and its all part of the membership

    Ya might want to think about joining sometime eh?

    Especially if yesterday gave you a bit of a tight bun clench…

    …or maybe the idea of writing an email, pressing and making £££ appeals

    Either or

    😘

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  • ***Daily Dose Of Dan***

    FOLLOW UP OR FUCK UP

    I’m going to give you one very simple, very useful (statistically 96% of you don’t do this) piece of advice.

    Either:

    • follow up or
    • fuck up

    It doesn’t matter what it is

    • a potential lead
    • a pitch
    • a date
    • a meeting request

    Shall I tell you why I am successful?

    I.
    Don’t.
    Give.
    Up.

    I got my mentor – by following up.

    I got the biggest account in my headhunting days – by following up.

    I have 200+ clients in ESPRESSO WITH DAN – by following up.

    And now, I’m going to flip it.

    I RESPECT people who follow ME up.

    I am busy.

    I live life on my own terms.

    I have a simple rule: if you are a friend or are investing money in anything I do?

    You get first priority.

    Want me to be on your podcast, look at your product, ask my opinions – I will do it – I promise.

    But when I’m ready.

    It’s not an arrogance thing – if you have followed me for some time, you will know I don’t see myself in that way. But if you want something which – let’s be honest – benefits you?

    Be prepared to follow up!

    Was discussing this with a friend earlier – he gave someone an opportunity who has wanted to work with him sometime.

    Well, that was presented over a week ago.

    Guess what?
    Still no word.

    Oh, and if I think you have potential but you are being a bit of a fucking melt – I promise you I will read and ignore your messages. 🙂

    I want people in my world who are like me – who actually have some hunger and don’t expect an easy route because I tell you – the more effort you make more I’ll return in spades.

    But I will be a dick if you have been a soft arse for a while…especially if you are talented. Ha!

    When Ryan Levesque gave me an opportunity? I went nearly 2 days without sleep to over deliver on what he wanted.

    When Ryan Lee gave me an opportunity to speak at Freedym Fest I did a round trip to NYC in 24 hours because it was such a good opportunity.

    When Dexter Abraham agreed to work with me after me hassling the crap out of him FOR MONTHS I didn’t balk at what I had to do to join him.

    I just
    Made.
    It.
    Happen.

    But, NONE of the above would have happened without some tenacity.

    Following up and being persistent without being a pest.

    How many times have you reached out to someone ONCE – didn’t hear back and then did nothing else?

    Or you had a potential lead who said I’ll think about it – or even a ‘no thank you’ and left it at that.

    Is that you?

    If so – you are not only leaving a lot of money on the table, you seriously need to grow some balls/ovaries.

    Again simple. If you have an opportunity either

    • follow up or
    • fuck up

    Many of the very successful people I work with have MASSIVE respect for tenacity, resilience, balls/ovaries (…these are all key parts of my GRIT programme for a reason.)

    Stop.
    Giving up.
    Start following up.
    Be a little cheeky.
    See what happens…

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  • Hello CWD’ers here we are with the 4th and final posty in the UGSD Series. One last time drop the word “reading” in the comments before you continue…

    As a quick recap

    Part 1 was all about making big changes and instilling habits in your life

    UGSD 1: Do it daily to dominate https://www.facebook.com/groups/coffeewithdan/permalink/2068002636651392/

    Part 2 was on getting yourself back in the game when life’s going smooth and you’ve lost your fire

    UGSD 2: Sort Your Head Out https://www.facebook.com/groups/coffeewithdan/permalink/2070449559740033/

    Part 3 covered how to handle anything life throws at you

    UGSD3: From Rage To Riches

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/coffeewithdan/permalink/2071646052953717/

    And today’s post?

    Today’s is all about living YOUR life, sharing YOUR message, attracting YOUR people

    Having a whole lot of fun and making a whole lot of profit along the way.

    Basically?

    How To Be F*cking Awesome.

    You are here for a reason.

    No I’;m not gonna go all woo on you – lol

    Some point in time be it a couple of days ago, a few weeks ago or even 4 fucking years ago

    You decided this might be the place for you.

    (BTW I appreciate every one of you for coming along for this mad little journey that is my life.)

    That reason is because you’re looking for a better way to live your life on your terms.

    Whether it’s because you want to

    – Grow your business so it’s making a decent income for yourself and your family

    – Leave a soul draining job

    – Shift what you do in business to create more freedom and flexibility

    – Make your dream business a reality

    – Create a huge impact for a cause you care about

    This is the place for you.

    And there are plenty of places you could go instead.

    There’s a whole lot of people who talk about business, success, entrepreneurship, productivity etc

    Yet this is the place you’ve decided to make your home.

    Because it’s more than just business.

    More than how-to’s

    More than tech and tools and bright shiny objects.

    Those things may have brought you here.

    They aren’t the reason you stay.

    And it’s not the reason why those who simply don’t belong here leave.

    You see

    If all you ever have is tools and how-to’s

    Knowledge and products.

    You might do ok for a time.

    It’s a fight.

    You’ll win business because you get lucky and you lose business because something better comes along.

    No loyalty

    No long term business

    No lasting impact.

    When you shift from one-dimensional marketing and bring in depth, personality, experience and values

    You create something different altogether.

    A community of raving fans who buy from you again and again.

    You create influence that magnifies the impact you have.

    And you create a business you love.

    It all starts with you.

    If someone had told me years ago that this would be my life I’d have thought they were having a laugh.

    That I’d be “allowed” to be this much “Dan”…and people would love it

    If they’d said I’d have the experiences I’ve had, I’d call them crazy.

    And when it comes to some of the things others have achieved in some part to do with me – I’m utterly mind blown.

    I hate being called an influencer.

    It’s just so weird.

    I’m just me.

    I grew up in Somerset.

    Quiet little place that ticks away at it’s own slow pace.

    I wasn’t the brightest student in school. Even had to retake some exams.

    Was never the most popular either.

    Teenage Dan had quite a rough ride of it

    Yet, here I am.

    I didn’t start off here as this Dan.

    Think it was 2014 I set up my Facebook account.

    Quite late to the party.

    The posts I made then and the ones I make now are a world apart.

    Steadily shifting from being massively reserved

    Even put *’s in my fucks – something I only do now to get listed on Amazon 😉

    Into the Dan you see now.

    A whole lot more of me being me.

    You see there are two versions of you.

    You you you are inside and the you that you show up as online.

    The closer you bring those together

    The happier you’ll be.

    The easier you will find content creation

    And

    The greater the impact you will have with your content.

    Because when you’re you, it put power into what you say.

    You’re confident because you believe the words coming out of your mouth.

    and it helps people really connect with you.

    No – that doesn’t mean you have to share EVERY little detail of your life.

    What it means is, share the things that you are comfortable sharing that give a little insight into you and who you are behind the business.

    And most importantly

    Write and speak the way you write and speak in real life.

    Don’t try to be perfect and “professional” if that’s not you.

    Don’t try to be me if that’s not you (trust me, you don’t want to – ha!)

    And for the love of God don’t go and swear and make a big deal about it just because it’s what all the cool kids are doing.

    Just be you.

    It shouldn’t be as hard as it is!

    People bang on about authenticity.

    The problem is, the way they do it is absolute ~BS

    Nothing authentic about it because you can’t go and be authentic.

    You just do you.

    It takes time to develop and grow.

    You can’t just leap all the way in.

    Start now.

    Share something small today.

    And go from there.

    Stories That Shape You

    Stories are powerful things.

    They are the #1 way to retain attention and deliver information.

    We live in a fast paced world where no-one has any attention span…apparently

    Yet we’ll sit and watch films and binge watch series on Netflix

    The reason?

    Stories

    In the social age storytellers are kings.

    Problem is, the moment the topic of story’s comes up self doubt creeps in for so many of you.

    You don’t have stories

    You don’t know how to tell them

    You’re no good at them

    …and other lies you tell yourself

    Yet you’ve got stories after stories locked up in your head if you give them a chance to come out.

    Stories from your trip to the shops, from working with clients, from your childhood, from that crappy job you hated, from that hysterically bad date, from your wins, failures, fears, dreams, hobbies and more.

    And your stories are the best way to show your values and what you stand for.

    Because anyone can say integrity matters, authenticity matters, caring for others matters.

    But actually living it – that’s when it’s real.

    Here’s an example of how I learnt something huge from my dad when I was younger hat’s stuck with me through life.

    When I was younger, I had a paper round – and it was huge.

    One day we were asked if we could handle double the amount of extras and my dad offered to help me out.

    Anyways about halfway through my dad said he had to go; and that I needed to make sure I finished the whole round without his help – that sometimes life throws us a curveball and we have to play the hand we are dealt

    I was only 12 or 13 or so, i was annoyed at my Dad letting me down but realised I had no choice and did what had to be done

    It took me fucking ages, i was tired, my back hurt and was pissed off but as my dad said the job had to be done – you don’t let people down

    – your word is your bond –

    Only when I got home did I realise my dad had neatly ripped 1/2 of his finger off in a letterbox; yet the fucking badass he is – wrapped his pissing-with-blood fingers in a newspaper, found me, made sure I know how important it was to do a good job and not let people down and THEN only did he drive himself to the hospital

    In turn I learnt the following:

    – what being a man (from my perspective) is all about

    – that you don’t let people down – you do what you say you are going to do

    – you fix your own problems; don’t rely on anyone else to help you

    That experience has stayed with me forever.

    And the lessons from it are ones I’ve taken with me.

    Whenever things get tough.

    Whenever problems come up.

    Whenever it’s easy to blow something off.

    I don’t let the tough times win.

    Can you see now it’s the experiences you have that have the greatest impact on who you are?

    How they showcase your true values and can be a beacon for others who share those values?

    And the more you use them, the faster you do this…

    Build Your Tribe

    My old family home used to back onto a riverbank (I was a keen fisherman as a youth) and was on the side of a main road which went over the river

    It was a beautiful view, but the kind of view that – in all honesty – you take for granted after a while

    Now – don’t judge me – we all know Dan used to like a drink or two, two…) and I remember 17 year old me asking the boys what they were up to that night and if they fancied going to the pub

    (We all looked quite old so ‘accidentally’ may of been going to the pub since we were 16…lol)

    Anyways everyone said they weren’t sure/weren’t planning on it, and I thought nothing about it

    Which brings me back to the view

    For some reason I found myself looking out of the window absentmindedly and saw Greg, Paul and Mark walk past my road and turn left to go to the Salthouse pub

    Took me a moment or two

    But then it sunk in

    I wasn’t wanted

    Now I bottled it up for a few days and remember one day in the common room I confronted them

    ‘If you’re my fucking mates, why didn’t you call for me on the way to the pub’

    (remember no mobile phones back then but I DID have pager…haha what a tit!)

    They looked rather shocked….their answer?

    They forgot

    No malice

    No nastiness

    Just….

    …forgot

    ??

    Ever since then I have subconsciously built my own tribes…

    University?

    Everyone was nervous as hell on the first night and huddled in 2’s and 3’s at the student union – so I knocked on the other 51 rooms in my halls and took everyone out on a pub crawl

    Rugby club?

    I was a good (but not the best, at that’s being kind ha) player but what I WAS good was recruiting people to the club, and I was the first club president who ran it at a profit, nearly doubled the size and added in a massive social element

    Coffee with Dan?

    I couldn’t find anywhere to keep me accountable, where I could learn from fellow entrepreneurs (who didn’t have a stick up their ass) and be unapologetically me

    So I created it

    ??

    All my life I have felt like an outsider looking in, and in typical entrepreneurial fashion instead of moaning I just thought:

    ‘Fuck it’

    I’ll do my own thing

    When I created Coffee With Dan I had no idea what it would become and how much it would do for me.

    Income wise – it’s allowed me to build a 7 figure business completely organically.

    No ads.

    No funnels.

    No fancy tech.

    But beyond that it’s done so much more for me.

    It’s allowed me to meet you.

    To connect with thousands of entrepreneurs all trying to improve their lives without any of the bullshit.

    It’s allowed me to belong and make true friends who’ve helped me through some of the darkest moments.

    It’s given me a place where I want to show up day after day.

    Even though there are times when the crown gets heavy.

    It’s helped me find people I truly care about and want to see win.

    And you guys have inspired me to do so much more.

    When the time is ready for you to build your own tribe – for some of you that might not be immediately.

    It will be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made.

    The problem is you can’t simply build a tribe.

    You need to make sales in your business so you can grow, serve and live a great life whilst making a positive impact.

    However big or small that may be.

    And that brings me to the final point…

    How To Create Words That Sell (without feeling sleazy and spammy)

    Copywriting is one of the most valuable skills you can pick up.

    Because it’s something you will use whenever you need to influence and persuade

    And if you can sell with words – you’re pretty much set for life because you can always find a way to bring cash in through the door.

    COPYWRITING. IS. FUCKING. AWESOME.

    I don’t say this to turbo-douche (even though it is fucking awesome!), but I say it to give you an example of what your life can be like once you get good at writing the words.

    You see, I went from working 12-hour P.T sessions

    Going home

    Smashing in a litre of coffee

    Then sitting writing & working away for 6-10 hours

    (Really)

    EVERY. SINGLE. PENNY I earned?

    Went straight back into my copywriting education

    After a shameless bout of pitching, I ended up working under some big names where my simple ass learned clever word things

    In fact, It was around this time where I invented the rather infamous AMEX Gamble lol

    Where I would max out an Amex card and invest in some coaching or a new course

    Theeeeeeeen I have ONE month to make the investment back…

    Or, option 2

    Le Dan le fucked

    Now, I’m telling you this because WORDS ARE RATHER IMPORTANT

    I want you to truly understand just how important mastering the skill of writing words which produce money was to this bearded plum

    I knew there was no better way to help my family and to get where I wanted to in life than mastering the skill of writing words that persuade

    It was the only thing I could fit in around PT sessions and looking after my sis

    And after just 5 months of this?

    I was charging £10,000 for a sales page…

    £500 per email….

    £6,500 per advertorial…

    Plus, I scaled my agency to $55,000/mo within 4 months…

    And part of a 3 man team that took a client from £60,000 to £600,000 a month in under a year….

    Which considering I ‘started cold’ ain’t too bad eh?

    In fact I’ve been able to build EWD & CWD by writing posts on social media…

    Got myself some rather fancy goodies like DucatiBAE, SeaDooBAE and of course — DucatimusPRIME

    And…

    It’s even bled into my personal life…

    From getting upgrades in hotels… to get my sister some things a guy from Somerset never should’ve got and making sure the Meredith’s future looked rosy

    ??

    And, lastly – considering I have what’s at best a ‘niche look’, don’t drink and can’t chat anyone up in a bar for shit – my words have gotten the attention of some very pretty ladies way out of my league lol

    Now, my point?

    This copy shit is pretty fucking important

    In fact, I’d as far to say…

    There isn’t any greater skill I would rather learn in biz

    ESPECIALLY if you want to make money quickly

    It’s something I use every day of my life

    And back when I was “The Fitness Copywriter”

    It was something I used to help my clients make millions in sales again and again and again.

    On top of that, it’s something I’ve taught to others and given them the skills to generate more sales either in their own business or as a copywriter for others.

    I’ve been lucky to have mentored some incredibly talented copywriters.

    The thing is

    To get to that stage – it’s cost me thousands upon thousands of pounds in training.

    Flights round the world to attend private masterminds.

    Hours of writing and rewriting copy, tearing apart other peoples work to figure out what works, what doesn’t and how I can replicate that success.

    Chances are you can’t invest that time and money and do all that travelling.

    That and you want results now – not months down the line.

    As always – you have to do the work

    There’s just no way around the fact that putting in the time is how you reap big rewards and putting money down and investing in your growth is critical when it comes to actually following through.

    What if there was a way you could cut out hours of studying and rapidly upskill?

    And

    Not have to travel around the globe for masterminds or workshops.

    Not spend hours and hours handwriting classic sales letters (powerful exercise yet quite honestly you ain’t got time for that)

    Most importantly

    You don’t have to find thousands and thousands of pounds to invest in trainings and courses and coaching.

    Instead, imagine if you could right now this week go deep into learning copywriting.

    Cut through all of the fluff and nice to know information and get straight to the heart of it.

    What if you learned

    How to understand people’s wants, desires and needs – so that you could communicate with them on a deep level so your writing has a massive impact that compels them to take action.

    How to write a powerful headline that grabs attention and makes people read more

    How to create an irresistible offer so good it sells itself.

    How to craft a powerful story so compelling your reader says “shut up and take my money” before they even get to your offer in the first place

    How to get good fast so you can up level and start earning more money right away

    and

    How to make money as a copywriter whether you are new copywriter looking to grow OR if you have a different kind of business and want to be able to have a side gig or a back-up plan whenever needed.

    All this and more is what myself and Mike Samuels covered in the Copy Course we produced a couple of years ago.

    Universal principles for making money with words that will last you a lifetime.

    It doesn’t matter what happens to Facebook or any other platform you use.

    This translates everywhere you go.

    Online

    Offline

    Wherever.

    And you can pick it up right now at coffeewithdan.com/copycourse

    You are reading this because you want more out of life.

    You want experiences.

    You want to be surrounded by great people.

    You want to serve clients you LOVE to work with.

    You want to be able to live comfortably.

    You want to be able to give back to the world.

    The only way that is going to happen is if you find a way to deliver enough value to others to be able to create the life you want to create.

    You might offer the greatest most wonderful products and services that are so much higher quality than your competition.

    You get greater results.

    You give better customer service.

    But if people don’t come to you.

    If they end up with your competition and don’t get to experience what it’s like with you.

    They miss out.

    You miss out.

    Your inability to communicate the value you offer means everyone loses.

    You can change that right now by picking up the copy course at coffeewithdan.com/copycourse

    The investment for this course is £495

    With it

    You make that money back over and over and over again.

    For the rest of your life.

    And the way the course is designed

    It’s direct focused outline designed to help you get your copy skills up fast means that you don’t invest now and hope and pray that in a few months time you’ll get something out of it.

    It’s the kind of skill that can have you get money in the bank right away.

    You can pick the course up now

    Spend next week going deep

    Write your best over post on Friday and have your stripe and Paypal notifications pinging away day and night for the rest of the weekend.

    Sound like a plan?

    Here’s that link one last time

    www.coffeewithdan.com/copycourse

    I can’t reiterate enough how important it is to learn this skill.

    It’s something I’m passionate about for good reason.

    No bells and whistles and ads and tech can replace being able to communicate your value.

    I’ve had enough of seeing great people suffer because they can’t make the impact they should be making in this world.

    It was a big inspiration for writing this series

    and I hope you’ve got a lot out of it.

    Drop me a comment below with all of your thoughts and if you’ve picked up one of the training, let me know which one it was and how you’re getting on so far with it.

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  • ***Daily Dose Of Dan***

    Learn to harness your ‘dark side’…

    We all know the good traits:

    • honour
    • respect
    • love
    • empathy
    • loyalty

     

    But what about your dark side? It’s just as much a part of you as the light.

    Some of the most successful people in the world exhibit traits which – taken out of context – you would probably be terrified of.

    But when combined – the dark and the light – and embracing both for what they are, you can truly unleash your full potential.

    I know I am a good person.

    I’m also honest

    I am loyal

    I look after those close to me

    But I know that I have a side that – without those gold traits to balance me out would make me a horrible fuck.

    🙂

    But the thing is?

    I have learned how to harness them.

    • Spite
    • Wrath
    • Rage
    • Fury
    • Vengeance

     

    All of those have – in the right amount – created GOOD things that have helped THOUSANDS of people

    BUT, the key is knowing when and how to unleash them…

    There are people far more qualified than me – but since I helped revive my sister when I was a little boy?

    When situations become overly emotionally stressful of heightened?

    When someone I trust fucks me over?

    I get cold, hard, emotionless focus.

    Hence, I am able to do what I do every day because when my back is against the wall I rise to it, just like I had to the last few weeks

    When I end up in the middle of a horrible, stressful day, I know how to leverage ‘that’ side of me.

    I am cool as a cucumber.

    That negative (if thats the right word) feeling – i often discuss with a close confident, or have some time alone

    and turn that into action

    As a rule a big ‘fuck you’ to whatever or whoever triggered it; but I keep that inside

    Just for me

    as MY fuel

    Part of the reason I have grown so much as a person over the last few years is that I have learn to love my good qualities and accept and leverage my bad ones.

    My question to you, is do you?

    And if not? What scares you about leveraging the side that – lets be honest – we all have….

    Dan

    PS a little tip; some of the most sweet, kind, loving people- when pushed – can unleash a torrent of hell

    my advice? Be nice to the quiet ones… 😉

    Oh and the hairy over-testosterone angry beasts…ha

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  • what used to make me happy then and now

    I was sitting in the gym today

    Couple of young ‘BRO’s’ next to me; was funny overhearing them talk about big lifts and trying to figure out how to make a girl like them and getting on it on the weekend

    Shit I probably used to care about

    I just don’t anymore

    What used to make me happy?

    • closing all the money
    • being ‘jacked’
    • VIP at clubs
    • sex/‘dangerous’ women
    • getting wasted on a weekend
    • eating myself (nearly) sick on junk food binges
    • what people thought of me/being cool

    Now?

    • hanging out with the family/making Anna smile (I’ve always liked this tbh)
    • a long motorbike ride with music on
    • heading out to sea on the jet ski and killing the engine
    • the silence of a spa or good film
    • truly changing someone’s life
    • finding a new meme
    • making someone laugh

    ^^^ that list isn’t exhaustive (and money is still fucking awesome and I’m sure I’ll like ladies again one day after the ‘clamnesty’/if I can be bothered again)

    Shit that I used to feel I needed to be happy just doesn’t do it for me anymore

    For me once I achieved it the ‘happiness’ was often short lived and off on to the next bigger better version

    What about you have you found what makes you happy now?

    Have you found it changes as you got older?

    I’m just intrigued

    What makes YOU happy?

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  • ***Daily Dose Of Dan***

    Seriously, this is some of the best advice I can give you

    Stop expecting a certain outcome

    Ready
    Fire
    Aim

    If it works – whatever it is?

    Awesome

    If it doesn’t?

    Who gives a shit

    Learn to let go 🙂

    Stop worrying about stuff you can’t control
    Watch a cartoon
    Have a wank
    Sleep away the afternoon
    Lick a lamppost

    Whatever tickles your pickle just stop stressing about shit coz ya gonna end up dead one day so why so serious?!

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  • Being Selfish Doesn't Make You Bad

    Taking time out to work on your business…

    To improve your health….

    To make yourself happy…

    Is far too often seen as selfish; if you are one of the people that give give give then there will be a point you say:

    FUCK IT

    And walk away, burn the bridges and be a you that – let’s none honest – isn’t really you; it’s just how you react to stress

    Don’t let yourself to get that point

    Sometimes you have to say to those close to you – and sometimes yourself – stop

    You need to ‘give’ to you, look after you, focus on you so that you can serve, give and show up

    Tonight, I want you to do one thing

    Think of an area of your life that is giving you shit, causing you stress or making you unhappy

    Think of ONE action you can do to fix that/make it better

    Then remove ANY shame it guilt around being selfish

    Write it down

    And tomorrow YOU DO YOU

    It may seem difficult at first, especially if you are naturally a ‘giver’; but you have to get your house in order before you start helping others

    You’ll never reach your potential otherwise

    Good luck!

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  • Neediness; one of most unattractive qualities in life or business

    I read a lot of books and am a big fan of Mark Manson and long after I’d read his more known stuff I found an old one of his

    ‘Models’

    Was about the world of relationship coaching that he had updated since he wrote it

    I like to learn from a variety of sources

    Art…

    History…

    Culture…

    Biographies….

    And so on

    And have always found that the dating/PUA/relationship coaching books always have a great crossover to marketing

    Whether you like it or not?

    ‘The Game’

    Is an excellent marketing book as well

    But anyways back on point, one of the chapters in ‘Models’ was on neediness

    Neediness is an utterly unattractive quality

    I know because I have been that person

    Needy

    Always wanting attention

    Had to have contact all the time

    Aka

    Low value

    Low status

    Whether it comes to life or business neediness is not attractive

    If you NEED someone

    They will pull back

    If they WANT you

    They will make the effort to be with you

    If you want to be wanted

    Confidence

    Being your own man or woman

    Having principles that you stick to

    Keeping your word

    Doing what you say will do

    Establishing boundaries

    Gives you value
    Gives you worth
    Makes your desirable
    Makes you want able

    It’s the same in business

    I’ve been very fortunate to have an excellent training in sales – any decent salesperson knows that if you act desperate to close

    You barely do

    (And yes this works with the opposite sex as well – both ways)

    If you act needy you simple won’t get what you want in life

    Ever

    Now don’t get me wrong TENACITY is admirable

    You won’t often close often on the first time ; you often need multiple attempts to sign someone up, get a call booked in or make a sale

    But if you act like that deal is the only thing between you keeping a roof over your head or being on the streets

    Your prospect will smell it a mile off

    My advice?

    This is one of those times where you do need to fake it until you make it

    ACT LIKE YOU DONT NEED IT!

    Or simply think

    IDGAF ??

    It’s really that simple

    Be cool
    Relaxed
    Charming
    Confident in your own abilities

    AND

    Know
    Your
    Fucking
    Worth

    Seriously knowing your god damned value in ANY relationship

    And trust me if you stick with it?

    Shit gets good

    Like, REALLY good ??

    Innuendo aside; no one wants neediness in their life – but you do (personal or professional) want to be wanted

    And if you aren’t where you want to be right now?

    Maybe ask yourself:

    Am I being too needy?

    If you are – following the above might help….

    ??

    (Your welcome)

    PS This was from a piece I wrote in 2017; and this was a T-shirt that was sent to me

    As a straight man living in Brighton this was not my best ‘lead magnet’ for ladies methinks ??

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  • Question? Are you gonna commit to reading this post and putting ideas into action?

    Once again, drop the word “reading” in the comments before you continue…

    Yesterday’s post – once Facebook decided it was finally going to play ball – was all about getting yourself out that funk where things are okay, but they’re not great.

    Those times when life’s just a little bit too plain sailing

    Where things are so smooth it takes that edge it takes that fire.

    It takes the feeling of having your back against the wall.

    So you don’t have that great drive and desire to really smash it.

    Oh, how lucky we would be if life was always that way.

    Even with the best plans, the best intentions, the best skills, the best prep

    EVERYTHING in place to make you a success.

    Something comes up,

    It could be something small.

    It could be something huge.

    It could be something in your control

    or it could be something completely out of your hands.

    Ting is

    If you don’t have ways of dealing with things

    Whether its internal in your head physical out there in the world.

    If you don’t have some think in place that helps you deal with it, it’s going to knock you back

    It’s going to take away that consistency, momentum, drive and passion from you.

    And

    if you get enough knock backs.

    If you get hit enough times

    Eventually you’re gonna go down for good.

    Let’s face it, you are human

    And being human.

    That is only so much you can take.

    And it’s through not having pathways out of those setbacks.

    By not having ways to get around things like those you

    By not having the tools to deal with the mindset issues that crop up time and time again.

    this the reason why so many great people with a whole heap of good to offer to the world don’t get anywhere.

    So that’s what today’s post is all about.

    It’s about how you can deal with anything that life throws at you

    what to put in place

    systems

    support,

    how you handle yourself and how you can keep on going no matter what comes up.

    And finally

    how to take any of those negative feelings

    the fear

    the rage

    the spite

    the overwhelm,

    Turn them around on their head and use them to you your advantage

    Let’s dig in.

    – have a support network

    Think you can just go it alone?

    Deal with everything that life’s gonna throw at you and just brush it off.

    Keep on putting it under the rug

    it’s okay

    you’re okay

    it’s no big deal

    just crack on with it.

    Good luck with that one.

    If you try and do it alone You’re an idiot.

    Yet, it’s something that we have a habit of trying to do.

    We try to just deal with our problems

    We are the problem solvers after all

    We try to find the answer find a way find the way forward figure it all out.

    Because if we don’t, who will?

    We convince ourselves that it’s not a big deal

    We can handle it

    That other people have got bigger problems

    And if we just keep on pushing will find a way

    So we push and we push and we push until we break down

    And none of that is necessary

    The thing is

    On top of thinking that we should be able to deal with everything.

    That we should be smart enough

    That we should have it all handled because hey, everyone else does

    On top of all that

    We beat ourselves up and we put ourselves down and we just don’t think we’re worth it.

    We don’t think that we are worthy of help.

    We don’t think that we deserve to be cared about.

    We don’t think that we deserve support

    because

    We think that’s our job

    and our job alone.

    Nobody should do that for us.

    So it can be so hard to ask for help

    share the load.

    delegate

    and we take on more a more a more

    we carry a bigger weight on our shoulders

    and I’m telling you now

    if you carry that weight

    if you keep on adding more and more stuff without getting any help without having any support without having people to help you figure things out,

    it’s going to break you.

    It’s just inevitable.

    Some point somewhere along the line that way is just going to get too much and it’s going to absolutely crush you.

    The alternative is getting a support network in place

    Support inside your business and sport outside of business because both sides are just important

    and both areas are areas where you’re going to have things come up.

    You’re gonna have problems, you’re going to have issues

    Having the right support in place to actually be provide practical help, smart guidance, emotional support and different ideas is key to seeing you through whatever comes up.

    That is the key to not breaking under the weight and the pressure and stress and all of the things that you’ve got going on in your life.

    I have said it before and I’l said it again

    Each hit takes its toll.

    And you get to the point where even the little ones, just the little tiny things are enough to set things off.

    You don’t want to get to that stage.

    So here’s what you need today.

    First up,

    you’ve actually got to be able to get support.

    Because right now if you’ve not got it in your life, the chances are that part of that is down to you thinking that you’re not worthy of help

    Before you get thinking of who that can be whatever you need support and what its gonna look like.

    The first thing you need to do is realize that yes, asking for help is something I really need to do. And getting the help is something that I’m worth having.

    And it’s hard believe me I know it is hard

    Because asking for help

    shows a little vulnerability.

    It also means you reach the realization that things aren’t so great

    It can be scary to admit to yourself,

    Let alone to anyone else

    To let them see the crack in the armor.

    The imperfection

    Believe me

    When you’ve got the right people around you

    letting them in

    letting them support and

    letting them feel valuable

    does wonderful things

    and yes

    you are worth help.

    So what exactly does help look like and what kind of support network should you be looking to put in place?

    There’s 2 sides to it.

    Practical support and mental/emotional support.

    Some people will be able to provide both kinds.

    Others will be a case of one or the other.

    Take an a4 piece of paper and turn it sideways.

    Top half – practical

    Bottom half – ideas and emotional

    Split it into columns for business, relationships, family, mindset, health etc.

    Basically every area of your life

    And give them a score out of 5 for how well you’re supported emotionally and practically in those areas.

    What you want to go to want to do is look where your low scores lie. 1’s and 0’s

    There will be a reason for those gaps.

    Those gaps will show the areas but you probably avoided

    Are you completely on your own in those areas?

    If you are, that’s something that you’re going to want to address.

    Beyond that

    Take some notes with a little detail of the support you have and what you can do to improve things or simply strengthen your relationships with those who support you.

    – systems and back ups

    Now we’ve covered the people you want to have around you – now it’s on to the things to get in place.

    So that things – for the most part – can continue on the way they should no matter what happens.

    For this you need systems.

    This does not people you need all the tech in the wold and have automations doing everything.

    #ThankFuck

    What I mean by having systems is knowing what’s supposed to happen, when it’s supposed to happen and what to do when things fuck up.

    It’s about knowing your MED (Minimum Effective Dose) which is basically the things that if everything that could go wrong is going wrong and there’s only a couple of things you can do – these are the things that you absolutely must do.

    It’s about having multiple marketing channels incase one goes down (I’m looking at you Facebook)

    Getting an account set up with multiple payment merchancte, stripe, square, and more – in case one you use decides to put a hold on your account.

    It’s about backing up your email database so you can transfer to another platform and don’t risk losing it if your current gets shut down.

    It’s about knowing that if you get into a slump – this is what you need to do to pull yourself out.

    If your cashflow gets tight – this is what you can put out to get some quick cash in.

    Again I want you to take a piece of paper and brain dump all the shit that can go wrong in your life, business and relationships.

    Then next to each one drop down an idea/ action plan to help minimise or eliminate the issue.

    It doesn’t have to be complicated but it can really save your ass.

    – Finding the positive in the negative

    I have consciously decided to spend a lot more time on my own without electronic devices, people or any form of stimulus and aggressively work on my thoughts

    Everything from triggers to limiting beliefs to self-sabotaging behaviours I have gone through each and every fucking and examined why I do the things I do and ask one simple question

    Does this serve me?

    Whereas before I wouldnít even consider the positive effects of what I perceive as negative ëstuffí, thanks to the time I have spent on my own?

    Now I do

    So what lessons have I taken from this painful journey

    For starters I have learned that you can ALWAYS find a positive even if it FEELS negative, and you will get what you focus on

    Now I mentally walk through and WRITE DOWN (this is key btw) all the positive things that have come from the encounter, issue, relationship – whatever it is

    And when I find myself on a little negative feedback loop?

    I have have them on my notes on my phone and if I find something shitty bubbling up with regards too whatever situation it may be?

    I just read the corresponding note

    Another thing I have found is that pain IS temporary IF you take action; donít get me wrong when life throws you a curveball you are allowed to feel crap and throw yourself a little pity party..

    But ONLY a little one and ONLY for a little whileÖ.

    After that? The KEY thing to getting over setbacks is ACTION

    Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself doesnít do shit, and as hard as it may be? What you need to be is DOING and NOT thinking in times like this. Brilliantly, the more action you take the better you tend to feel as time goes on

    Finally, learn to not only embrace painÖbut CHASE it

    This may sounds rather fucked up, but I am just putting to bed a great book, ëPrinciplesí by Ray Dalio, and he has a simple equation

    PAIN + REFLECTION = PROGRESS

    It may seem sadistic to chase painful situations, and without reflection and subsequent course correction

    It is

    But we can learn a lot from failed business venturesÖ

    Our pride and joy products floppingÖ

    Relationships and friendships falling by the waysideÖ

    Failing at things we knew, just KNEW that we would win at but didnítÖ

    Because most people do anything to avoid pain, I know I did for many a year – far too fucking long to be honest

    Now I embrace it for what it is

    I know I donít want to experience it again, so I learn what I did wrong to ensure (to the best of my abilities) that it doesnít happen again

    That and I see it as like weight lifting, the more you experience over time AND get though the other side, the more that ëdealing-with-pain-muscleí grows and the stronger and stronger you get until one dayÖ

    Öyouíre in pleasure

    – having a toolbox of strategies

    As you know, you can’t stop life from coming at you with a hit.

    All you can do is your best to stop the shit you cause yourself from coming your way.

    Your best?

    Not always good enough

    And then there’s plenty of shit life throws at you that is completely out of control.

    You can’t prevent life from coming at you.

    What you can do is prepare for it the best you can and have a selection of tools you can whip out at a moments notice to help you navigate the fuckery.

    And

    With the right set of tools

    You can go beyond simply scrapping your way through life by the skin of your teeth.

    To actually using the negative to propel you forward.

    This is something I have used in EVERY area of life.

    Few examples..

    Was deeply unhappy with my looks and build, so I got hugely into fitness then personal training then gym ownership then fitness copywriting

    A negative

    Into a positive

    Was quite isolated and lonely when I started out as an entrepreneur, so set up a virtual coffee shop – aka ëCoffee With Daní; which as you know has become quite the thingÖ

    A negative

    Into a positive

    Some more?

    Was told I was shit at Rugby – so I worked harder and played for my university at the national level

    (I wasn’t necessarily any good but I was still on the pitch haha)

    I had the ‘I don’t think you will make it’ head shit when I went into the corporate world and told I would be sacked EVERY DAY if I didn’t hit my call targets – ended up being #2 (only lost out to an MD) out of 6000 head-hunters UK and Europe world

    Someone laughed at me when I started out at the gym, so ended up doing (really) a modelling shoot at 6.4% body fat and competed in powerlifting

    Was told (due to some inherited traits from Big Papa Nige) that my writing wasnít good enough to earn from – well fuck you Iíll write a bestselling book and get PAID for my words

    Anyways I share the above – all true – from my life, as everything truly fucking awesome I have worked forÖ

    BUT, it has been harnessing the power of spite and rage and sadness and envy that has given me the explosive fuel to do the work (either on myself or externally) that has given me most of what I have

    Yet hardly anyone talks about it

    And I don’t see almost anyone showing you how to leverage this ‘dark energy’ for extreme good and massive life changes

    And in 2018/2019 I went all in on this concept…and this happened

    • An additional £118,050 in profit OUTSIDE of my current businesses, in new markets and not previously done before
    • Dropped 13lbs, stopped smoking (I started only this last year due to stress), quit junk food
    • Rekindled a very important relationship, removed 3 toxic ones with my ‘satisfaction’ score (Iíll explain that shortly) being 7/8 out of 10 most days
    • Consistently get 6-8 hours sleep, and the quality of which has improved (compared to 3-5 fractured)
    • Launched one new business venture in a new vertical, and have mapped out two new ones in competitive markets which will be launching later this summer
    • Have taken control my life even further; with new systems and structure for my days that gives me more mental clarity and freedom than before
    • Grown as a leader for my team creating new opportunities for my core team WITHOUT negative impact or emotional strain

    IT

    HAS

    CHANGED

    MY

    LIFE

    And this January – after months of refining – I revealed everything I know about harnessing the darkness

    Their results?

    100K+ deals closed

    Toxic relationships terminated

    Businesses finally launched

    Egos ditched and powerful connections made

    People FINALLY experiencing freedom from the shitty thoughts they had and turning it into life changing ACTION

    Unreal

    Look, I have done this for a long time right?

    People got results

    People got breakthroughs

    People experienced changes

    People made shit happen

    GRIT: RED Edition (for me) is the simplest system I know to:

    – overcome your own bullshit, limiting beliefs and ëhead trashí

    – get a handle on your situation, OWN it and FIX it FAST

    – leverage the dark thoughts and energy that you have for GOOD and POSITIVE outcomes in your life

    – quite the negative people and traits and actions that hold you back and fuck you up

    – MAKE YOUR LIFE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE (if you are prepared to face a few harsh truths THEN turn that into action)

    NO

    MORE

    ACCEPTING

    SECOND

    BEST

    When I came up with the concept of GRIT: RED it had to be:

    1. Simple

    2. Easy to action

    3. Something that I could realistically stick to (with all my other commitments)

    4. Would allow me to (eventually) see massive positive changes on not only my life, but those I served, interacted with and employed

    5. Allow me to be a better human, live a better life, be happier, wealthier and healthier (both physically and mentally)

    So thatís what I created

    A simple system that (I think) anyone can follow but more importantly helped me understand why I did the things I did, and what I could realistically do to control them, so:

    I tried

    I failed

    I tested

    Over and over and fucking over again until I got the ërecipeí just right

    That recipe?

    Is GRIT:RED

    Now as you can probably tell from the energy and enthusiasm from my words, I believe in the so strongly that this product I believe is going to be one of the most transformational and powerful programmes I have created thus far

    (I believe it will surpass the success and sales of my post popular ever training, the original ëGRITí)

    I am PROUD AS FUCK of this

    And for those of you that want me to show you how to do what Iíve done, and how YOU can harness your darkness to create nothing but light

    THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

    The cost for all of that?

    A one time investment of only £195

    https://coffeewithdan.com/rededition

    In closing: if you are finally ready to take ownership of your life, quit making excuses and do all that you can to make 2019 YOUR year and also me to show you EVERYTHING I have learned to change my life – and hopefully yours

    NOW is the time

    If you have ANY questions about the course?

    Send me a DM & I will be happy to answer

    Ultimately you only have one roll of the dice, so why NOT have all you feel you deserve and be free of the thoughts and actions that have held you back

    If not?

    The principles I have outline above when you harness negative energy to LAUNCH THE ROCKET…then pivot into positivity

    You can change your world fast
    Dan

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how to be f*cking awesome

BE F*CKING AWESOME, LIVE LIFE
ON YOUR OWN TERMS, MAKE A
DIFFERENCE, AND BE TRULY FULFILLED

#BEMOREDAN

SIMPLE WAYS TO BE MORE

F*CKING AWESOME
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