Coffee With Dan

What’s new with you?

Hey CWDers, I was taking a browse through the introductions post the other day and it dawned on me

That thread has been up and running since waaaaay back in 2015

And some of you were here right back when if all began

Whether you’ve been here for almost 5 years or not quite 5 days, chances are there’s been plenty of changes happening in your world.

In fact the biz you were running, starting up or even just thinking about when you wrote your intro could be nothing like the one you’re running now.

Time for an update?

Drop a comment below to let us know

– Who you are

– What you do and who you do it for

– What you love about what you do

– What would make what you do even more awesome

You never know there could be someone else here who needs what you have to offer

Plus

The more I know about where you’re at right now, the more I can tailor content and challenges to what you need

Win
Win
Win

Just the way we like it 😉

Speaking of tailored content,

A short while back I did a content series covering 5 key areas that really move the needle in your busines

AKA the 5 Pillars of Fucking Awesomeness

It was some of my best content covering:

Copywriting: How to improve your copy so you generate more leads and sales online AND offline.

​Mindset: How to keep powering forward whatever life throws at you – because life WILL bend you over from time to time

Health & Fitness: If you’re out of shape with fuck all energy your confidence, happiness and business suffers. Let’s change that.

Skill Development: How to break out of bright shiny object syndrome, choose courses that work and actually get shit implemented

​Productivity: My personal productivity systems for getting shit done without getting buried in work
And it WOULD have got lost in the abyss of Facebook

…if we hadn’t got it transformed into a 60 page PDF which is yours to keep absolutely free.

What you need to do to get your hands on it is head on over to www.coffeewithdan.com/5pillars

Drop your email in the form and you’ll get a copy in your inbox within 5 mins

You’ll also get onto the CWD email list if you aren’t already which means you’ll get access to the content I send out there that isn’t seen anywhere else.

Here’s that link again

www.coffeewithdan.com/5pillars

Head on over and request access then pop back here to give us an update on whats happening in your world

By the time you’ve written your re-introduction, the PDF will be ready and waiting in your inbox

Looking forward to re-meeting loads of you and meeting some of you for the first time

Dan

P.S. We have a rather useful bot that’s specific to CWD

You can ask it Q’s, get stuff and you also get notified of the free trainings, content, webinars and offer we do at times

We are very much NOT spammy with it, but it stops you missing out on the good stuff:

Here’s the link https://m.me/coffeewithdan?ref=jointhebot

And your added

Oh and – because I admire cheekiness but not spammy ways – no opt inlinks/sales pages/groups etc

If your good? They will find you – as well I 😘

Right hope that all makes sense – feel free to add me/follow me as me (Dan – my personal profile) on FB or @therealdanmeredith on IG…my stories are wild 😉

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2 Years sober today

Lessons from ditching the demon I never thought I’d live without, if I even lived at all

Two years ago, and maybe a few hours from posting this, I drank my last alcoholic drink

To say that alcohol had featured heavily in my life is, somewhat, of an understatement

For those that have followed me for a while?

You will likely be familiar with elements of this story

But theres some bits that I’ve been reticent to share – but I cant preach what I don’t pratice can I?

So yes, there may be some who are turned off by what I say

– and thats cool –

But equally it might help out a peep or two; and thats a fair price to pay

Before I dive in, I’ll explain the picture later as this is the 2nd year I’ve used the pic in the above left of me on the bike – and it has meaning to this post (many of you know her…)

For now?

Im going to try and explain why this is such a big deal for me – and as the story goes on – I hope it will begin to make more sense and be valuable to you as well

(This has taken a few days to write, there may be some randomness as we go along but I think it comes together nicely at the end)

Shall we then?

Lets

Now I’ve always drunk since my teens; I was a naturally shy and quiet kid (really!) and I wanted to be fun like the other kids and less quiet

Alcohol – it turned out – was that magical elixir that seemed to do it for me and had been a passenger to most, if not all, of my social gatherings

And I turned out Dan could drink a LOT!

I was very much the ‘life of the party’ and even though I could put it away?

I could be relied on to get the party started

Sure, I did some dumb shit

But nothing bad, no fights, no nasty stuff

Just fuckery and saying stupid things TBH

Never really thought I had a problem, and didn’t really until I started to become a thing

It started off fairly innocuous

I started the agency (marketing/copy/funnels etc for the fitness/supplements industry)

Before I knew it had scaled it up to mid/high $6-figures and was ‘on the tools’ for maybe a 1/2 day a week

– we were good, and yes that really was it –

So I drank because I was bored

And because I was lonely (I’ll be coming back to that theme bit later, and more than once as I meander along with the prose)

My partner at the time was a dancer – quite famous in her world – and was away on tours and what have you

So I was on my own a lot with nothing but my mind for company

What started at a few drinks to end an evening…

…routinely ended up being a bottle of grey goose every night

(Ive never had a hangover and when I discovered ‘The Goose’ it was – for my body – a victimless crime)

Sadly myself and my partner at the time broke up due to my own BS and I thought I needed to escape so literally packed a single back pack and fucked off from Somerset to Brighton to start a new life by the seaside

The fresh start WAS amazing, but I found if harder and harder that I was a ‘thing’ as time went on

(Looking back just running away from shizzle and not dealing with it eh?)

This random little bearded nugget of a human had sold 100’s of thousands of books and the sheer amount of kind messages and emails and what have you – to be totally honest – overwhelmed me

I mean, I had one person who had planned to tap out and they got an email about my audiobook and were listening to it AS THEY WERE PREPARING

My book saved their life

It messed with my head

Hence the drinking got earlier and I’d sometimes ‘top up’ with a 1/2 bottle of gin

Now you might be thinking:

‘boo hoo, look at the poor beardy man getting all sad over being successful’

Ya know what?

TOTALLY with you on that one

I used to se successful people and when they had issues or whatever I was like

‘Fuck em, they got money’

But you know what

If you don’t like who you are, are lonely as fuck and – honestly – couldn’t give a shit if you saw another day

Ya start to feel sympathy not for what they have done but for the fact they are human

I had all these people saying I had changed their lives – 100’s of 1000’s

And there I was

Seemingly most nights (if I hadn’t passed out by this point)

Sat on the floor in my living room with the same headphones Im wearing now on crying my eyes out – downing neat gin – with zero fucks about if I saw the next day

Why?

Because all those years of drinking was my coping mechanism to deal with the fact that I never, ever felt good enough or worthy of anything

I felt like I was NO ONE

Love?

Haha Dan fuck you no one will ever love you

Friends?

No one gives a shit about you ya bearded twat, your only as much use as you can do for someone

So thats what I began to believe

Yes I had an amazing family/team/mentor (more on them later, as they feature prominently)

But when you dont feel anything towards your own existence bar what you can do for others, you begin to just stop caring about yourself

I showed up
I made a difference
I did the work
I changed lives
People got paid
Everyone got what they wanted

As long as I worked?

I was useful

So thats what I focussed on, doing what I could to make others lives better – my logic being back then that my life isn’t particularly important; so as long as I make a difference to OTHERS lives then It was, technically, a worthwhile life

I mean, I had a couple of little mini-heart attacks and I wasn’t even bothered

Still remember being covered in electrodes (I took selfies, theres a post or two around) and more concerned with and more bothered abut the fact I was running out of battery and would be stuck there with nothing to do…

Mad eh?

But thats the thing when you are trapped in this spiral of self destruction, you tend to only think about yourself

The gratitude I have for my family, mentor, team, some close friends I dont know If my words can do it justice

It had me locked into a selfish, destructive downward spiral that made me – looking back – a fucking asshole at times

Alcohol had me in its grips and I just didn’t care

I ruined my mentors summer and nearly drove him insane m with endless calls in between manic highs and crippling tear drenched lows…

My family had to see me beat myself up – literally – as I was in such a destructive and sad place with only my sister giving me a cuddle stopping me…

My poor team would lose me days as I would go off on a bender…

(I cant ever thank them enough for sticking with me)

I had no idea why They did, but they didn’t leave me and I am very lucky to have them all in my life still

Sadly though some took this opportunity to attack, poison, back stab and go to TOWN trying to destroy me

Funny who steps up when you need it the most?

People I had been there for, pretty much created businesses for, people I classed as friends?

Had literally done everything they could to destroy my business and reputation – I didn’t find this out until some time after the event

That hurt you know

Yes I was a mess at times, and sure I had done some dumb shit

But the screenshots I was sent, fucking killed me inside

If I hadn’t made the vow Im about to tell you about?

I reckon it would of seen me off for good

Which brings me back to the picture

Top left?

Thats DucatiBAE

Now this is gonna sound weird – and only a few know this – but I wanted to share as recently I had to decide If I was going to sell her or not

(I’m quite a good biker now and the power and speed of her I’ve simply outgrown a bit)

This night 2 years ago I had conversations with people I love and respect – hard, tearful, painful ones

I made a promise

Not a promise – a vow

I was done with alcohol

Not for a month
Not for 90 days
Not for 6 months

Forever
Done
Good

I had some great help and support during this period, but I said I was gonna get a bike so I (still a bit tipsy on what would be tomorrow morning) got a taxi to the dealership

And bought DucatiBAE there and then

(Don’t worry I didn’t ride her home, she was delivered a few days later)

She saved my life

I remember patting her on the tank in the store and said

‘You don’t kill me, I wont drink again’

She didn’t
I haven’t

Thats why – no matter what – I can never sell her

I wanted to share that because I know my love of motorcycles seems a bit OTT but it gives me a sense of happiness and peace that alcohol never gave me

Now we are getting a bit off topic here, so we are gonna go back in time for bit, then forward

Dex did this post a year and a bit ago

https://www.facebook.com/10164802…/posts/10214613432782295/…

Ya know all I’ve ever wanted?

Was to be happy

And asking for help to be happy was kinda fucking hard

But I did

You see, I’ve done some pretty crazy things from partying in the playboy mansion….to flying in a first class cabin on a party jet…to being in VIP suites in vegas partying with models…

…and some crazy, filthy, probably dangerous, very ridiculous shit in-between

Ive done all the things that I thought would make me happy

– money
– women
– alcohol
– VIP life
– watches
– toys
– experiences

Literally every thing that I wanted to do and experience – I’d done – yet I didnt feel any happier deep down

WTF eh?

Hence drink became my ‘go to’ whenever the nights used to draw in and Iw as lets with my own thoughts

^^ and here we have the rub

My own thoughts

I have what I have and I manage it well (the hypomania)

Its good now

But it wasn’t for a long time

But the idea of BEING LEFT ALONE WITH MY OWN THOUGHTS was fucking terrifying

For weeks and weeks I used to make myself exhausted and run podcasts from 8pm all night until I passed out – sober – but distracted

Before long, I simply couldn’t keep this up

So I was forced to do the work on me that – honestly – I dont think I’d ever done

Why dont I feel worthy of love
Why dont I think I have any friends
Why dont I care if I’m here or not
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why

Honestly some of the most painful shit I’ve experienced and as hard as it was? Its perhaps the most worthwhile thing Ive ever done

I couldn’t of done it without my family, mentor, close team/friends ad a few special humans who (when others jumped ship) stepped up

You know who you are in both categories – and Im grateful for both

Because it showed me that even though there are some truly shitty humans on this planet, there are some amazing ones that are worth their weight in gold

And with the right ones around you?

You can get through all manner of shit

As you can see, a bit of a merry go round of a story – highs and lows, here and there

I think it makes sense, and I hope you got something out of it

That me?

That me that wanted to destroy himself because he didnt feel good enough…

Still shows his head time to time – I’ll never believe my own hype – but I have it in control now, it doesn’t control me

Which is kinda cool

I’ve learned to be kinder to myself and love myself?

Well, I’m only two years sober

Baby steps eh

🙂

Me clearly avoiding the subject aside, I’ve learned a fuck tonne about me and life and business in general through this journey

And as you can see on the pictures, theres a happier less fucked up Dan

Im closer to my family than ever before (Ive always loved them to bits) but see them all the time and especially since Ive been sober Anna has both broker her neck and had a liver tumour removed – and Dad has survived cancer

I was able to step up when needed, and be there for my family as they have been there for me

Alcohol was such a crutch it seemed

Ive had some of the hardest, most painful, challenging 2 years of my life – and although it hasn’t ben easy

It hasn’t broken me either

Ive been able to deal with shit and get shit done, its amazing what you can do when you don’t buy your head in the sand and just deal with shit eh?

That and I have a job I love

I don’t have to do things/buy stuff/go places to either try make me feel happy to impress people

I am – in essence – a quiet kid who likes nature, the sea, his family, motorbikes, books and orange fudge

I like making people happy
I want to make a difference
I actually do give a shit about others

If that makes me a bit soft?

Then so be it

Im a bit soft

(Most of you fucking know it anyways lol)

Ive got a loving family, a great team, a brilliant/batshit mentor, a nice home, the toys I need, and a job I love

Not bad eh?

That and look how happy I am in the bottom pics; loving life and getting to help epic peeps

The loneliness I mentioned earlier?

Still there – but Im getting better at combatting it; and in a position (with my network & CWD) to be able to do soemthing about it

– which is my big plan for 2020 –

I haven’t done a mammoth post in ages, Im sure theres some waffle, grammatical fuckery and randomness in this

But thats me

🙂

(And In my defence felled by man flu today so im kinda fucked and wrote this over a few days….I did my best!)

In closing?

Life can change – if you want it too – but you cant do it alone

I never thought I’d be able to not only kick the drink, but deal with the shit that made me want to numb myself to life

I managed it

And I am NO ONE special

If life isn’t where you want it to be right now?

Try not to panic

It can, and if you ask for help and just be fucking honest with yourself that you aint 100% right now you CAN change

Yes there are some total cunts (and I never use that word, but what some people did to me was pretty awful) in the world

But there are even more people that are fucking awesome who will go to bat for you and help you when you need it the most

No need to tag anyone, you know who you are and I fucking love you

(That and theres too many, I am behind grateful)

Life is for living ladies and gentlemen, and if the last two years have taught me anything?

Is that many of the ‘riches’ you seek?

Are within your grasp

You just have to put out your hand

Thank you for reading, and for being a part – no matter how big or small – in my life

x

Dan

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A few little tips on performing better as an entrepreneur and human full stop (feel free to add ya own) + make you less stressed/more £££/happier as well

1. Write things down

Get shit out of your head – rank in order of importance (use my 3/5 system it works)

You will be amazed at how much clearer you are generally + won’t miss shit + get more shit done

2. Phone OFF at certain times (very least notifications)

– 2hrs before bed
– First thing in the am

Don’t let the little fucker dictate to you what you do

If it’s important? They’ll call

If it’s not?

They can wait

3. Blend things and drink them

Green stuff and colourful things

Grab a bunch, blend it, drink it

You can make it all fancy and flavourful but all I use is:
– spinach
– kale
– carrots
– beetroot
– blueberries
– strawberries
– raspberries
– bio active cultures yoghurt shit

Lazy AF health – I’m indifferent about death but might as well try stack odds in my favour

4. Walk

Focus on steps if it keeps you accountable

Go outside

Walk
Somewhere
Walk
Back

That’s it

5. You activities first

There’s lots in here day planning etc

Simple one = spend first few hours of your working day (mine is 12-2pm but that’s when I start) doing activities that make YOU £££

The turn your attention to others

6. Le fuck le off

If people are dragging you down/giving you shit?

Have a word

– maybe they just need some alignment –

They keep it up?

Get em YEETED

7. Read things

Kindles and phones are great – in a way

But nothing beats a book

– buy it
– read it
– but another one

Repeat

Equally have a handful of well recommended books and read them 2-3 times a year

(You’ll get more out of them if you do)

8. Grasp the fact that most things are ‘figureoutable’

The best thing about 2019 is it made me stop caring about certain things

Life is gonna fuck you at tines

But worrying about it literally does nothing

Deal with fuckeries when they come and ask for help then take action

If you approach stuff with positivity + effort you will be amazed how much better life gets

9. Spend some £££

On books and courses and people and coaching and events and seminars and training and stuff to help you level up

Free only gets you so far – you do have to have some skin in the game eventually

Find someone you respect who has the life/biz they want and give them some cash and then – most importantly – do what they say

10. Have some fucking fun

As Ricky Gervais said at the (savage) awards recently:

‘We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no rerun’

How soon?

Fuck knows

You might as well enjoy it while ya here eh? Y’all ain’t getting out alive so focus on what matters and give less of a fuck to what doesn’t 😘

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Do you think it’s hard to date as an entrepreneur?

Are we hard as fuck to date?!

I’ve seen a few of my good friends – mainly ladies – lament about how ‘meh’ it is out there:

The real world for us is of the this…

Apps leave us depressed and uninspired…

And when someone does get with us?

How the fuuuuuuck do you explain things likes webinars and mentors and masterminds and coaching groups

(Let alone things like working on your mindset or anything else vaguely normal for us folks!)

Single entrepreneurs – how do you find it out there?

Taken entrepreneurs- any tips you care to share?

This is a huge topic and we are coming up to the most depressing part of the year (statistically 3rd week Jan)

As much as I joke about such things

Finding someone to share this brilliant shitshow that is life does make it more worthwhile

What’s your thoughts on it all; such musings as –

Are we undateable?
Do we need to stick to our own?
Can we be with a normal?
Will we ever be happy?
Where do you find them (the ones that aren’t batshit anyways)

What say you on the whole thing CWD?

Be fun to hear your dating stories (good and bad) for lols

If I feel up to it I’ll share the worst story ever

(It involves a cream carpet)

Aaaaaanyways

What say you?!

PS Pic of me and fam dog for engagement purposes only

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Have you ever been spat on?

Now before I go any further; for once this isn’t me being a kinky fucker

(I’ve dated a pornstar before so it’s safe to safe my tastes aren’t what you would call ‘vanilla’)

But outside of the bedroom?

I’ll tell you something

It’s perhaps one of the most degrading things to of happened to me

– I would rather of been punched –

But that’s for later in the story, let’s cycle back a bit

Now when I had my world ripped out from under me; then came the threats

– standard biz stuff I see now –

I was told I couldn’t legally work in that ‘space’ and I believed it

Frightened?

Yeah, I’ll hold my hand up and say I was

So as I said yesterday I was walking 4-7 miles every day in a heatwave, June, trying to find something I could do for work

Now you might of heard some of this in the book but here’s something I’ve never shared

Yep I’ve got into dept
Yep I’ve been fucked financially
Yep I’ve lost jobs

But I’ve never not been able to find work

And for the first and only time in my life?

I signed on

I realised that my efforts were getting my nowhere fast and I was simply too overqualified for retail jobs (they thought I would leave) and the fact I couldn’t talk about what happened was destroying my chances with anything more corporate

Rock
Me
Hard place

As someone who has NEVER asked for a handout in my life form the government it was a truly humbling moment

But I approached it as best I could

Managed to iron my suit as couldn’t afford to get it dry cleaned and booked an appointment

Now I don’t know if any of you have had to do this or go on ‘welfare’ of any kind

But its truly demoralising

For those of us who want to work
Want to add value
Don’t like to be a drain
Contribute and not take

Your ego takes a hammering

So off I go; 1040 am Monday in Hackney which was my nearest branch

There was already a queue

So I joined if and – brilliantly – I was the only one who was in a suit

(I couldn’t of stuck out more if I tried)

I was actually pretty nervous and keeping my wits about me; but thought Fuck it

Do the meeting
Get a job

Easy

Na

I filled in a form

Then I was told to go and apply for 3 jobs on a machine

I scrolled and scrolled and tried to find anything suitable for me

I went back to the desk

‘Can you help me I’m struggling to find some that I’d be a good fit for’

‘Do you want your job seekers allowance Mr Meredith? If you do come back when you have printed off 3 jobs and don’t come back until you have’

So I did

I signed a little form

And was told to leave

If it went well I’d have – I think – £92 for two weeks in two weeks time

It’s something eh?

What it did show me is for how many people this was all they did

Turn up
Sign on
Leave
Repeat

Some people were gaming the system and were open about it

Most were desperate for work and had been rejected over and over again

It was heartbreaking

I truly don’t know how they kept going

– I was a few weeks in and my confidence and self belief was starting to crack –

From memory I was down to maybe £10-12 now; so shit was getting tight

Had 1/3 loaf of bread left and some Chicago’s town pizzas, tuna and pasta

– maybe enough for a week –

So, once again, thought fuck it

I’m just gonna lie

Totally rewrote my CV to include a lot of bar work that – previously – I hadn’t done

I did have one ace up my sleeve

Had 2 years of doorwork and floor manager experience in a strip club and 6 months of bar experience

– that became years now –

Now let me explain something

Strip clubs?

Ain’t glamour

I ended up working in one when I was a PT up north

My first ever client was given to me and she was called faith, stage name Paige

Got her into wicker shape and she recommended me all her friends

(I was 23 with 10 strippers as clients I won’t lie it was a giggle)

But I never ‘touched the merchandise’ and was trusted they asked me to come work in the club as I was good with people, a big lump and – it turned out – epic and getting the girls more £££

So I went for a walk

I was in the square mile – full of rich, wanker bankers – there must be a strip club around here somewhere

Turned out there was

It’s that one over my shoulder on the top pic

So CV in hand, totally made up back story, got my ‘references’ to go along with it and memorised the lot and I walked in a pitched myself

(When I want to be I can be a charming mofo)

Got the job

Now Im a straight man
Have a high sex drive
Naturally been tested to have upper limit testosterone

Wanna be invisible?

Work in a strip club with people who are worth millions

Y’all ain’t shit

Now I’ll be open here

I was a very shy kid

Didn’t lose my cherry till late teens

Was pretty shy with women (I had no idea how to chat them up lol #blessyoungdan)

But I’d always done pretty well considering

When all this happened I lost my GF at the time because I was so depressed – I don’t blame her – I was like a zombie

She did try to help but I was a broken man and pushed her away

So thought maybe I would meet someone nice here

Fucking lol

As much as it pains me to say it – these ladies where here for money

– and I had fuck all –

But I was good at my job, worked the floor well and and was soon a popular member of staff that everyone seemed to like having around

(Plus if any of the dancers were dicks they got shitty customers lol)

Anyways

It was fucking exhausting

My day was like this

I’d get to work for 550 and wait round the back

See that shop there?

That was a Pret (sandwich shop)

If wait till they closed and hide behind a bin and then they would throw out the sandwiches that they didn’t want for the day

DANS TIME TO SHINE!

Bear in mind it was hot as fuck so I couldn’t wait long but after 5-10 mins their alarm would go off to signal the lock up and into the bin I would go

(Like I said yesterday I’ll do what I have to to survive)

Then it was humping crates, bar work, floor work, sealing with customers until 3am, then home for 5 am

And – BRILLIANTLY- we had roadworks EVERY MORNING at 8am

So I’d get 3 hours sleep

And maybe an hour around 2 or 3 as they went on from 8am to 6pm and no stopping

I was Fucked

But I needed the £££ and was allowed to work while my job seekers allowance came in

So I cracked on

Now if you have read my book

You will be familiar with the story of when I had to get knee deep in shit, literally – and that wasn’t the worst bit – but I’ll share it quickly

For those who haven’t heard it?

I’ll keep it brief before I get to the ‘pay off’ for this post

Nutshell version DO NOT FLUSH TAMPONS

🙂

Because they get stuck in something called an ‘eviscerator’ that chops up waste before going out and yours truly had to make a biohazard suit out of bin bags and climb in and stab it with a pole to dislodge it

If I didn’t?

Club wouldn’t open and I wouldn’t get paid

Do what you need to do eh?

So anyways it was a week later and Thursday night (#wankerbanker) night was our biggest

Total fucking douchebags hammering the expense account on Dance’s and drinks

One guy got a bit handsy

So I asked him to stop

I was super polite – they were big spenders – and simply said:

‘We want you to have fun but you know the rules you can’t touch the girls’

‘I can do what I want’ was his sneering reply

‘You can of course, but not here I’m afraid if you do it again I’m going to have to ask you to leave’

His retort?

He laughed

‘I earn more in a day than you do in a year, fuck off’

Then he looked

And spat on me

Just below my right knee

Like I was nothing

Me at full ‘Dan’

Would of smashed his fucking head in

Me with my confidence and self belief smashed

Just walked away

I was as low and as broken as I can remember being

Which brings me to the second pic

One of the girls saw this happen to me and came up to me and gave me a hug

She wiped the spit off my leg and gave me £10

‘We all love yoy here Dan that was horrible you didn’t deserve it. I know money’s tight got you right now treat yourself to a beer and some food on the way home…please let

I folded it up

Put it in my wallet and finished my shift

Ain’t no shame in admitting this but I went home and sat crying to myself

How had my life got this bad that I was spat on for fucks sake

At that moment – that exact moment – I made a vow

If I ever need to spend this £10

I’d give up

Not give up and go home

But I’d tap out
For good
No more dan

Literally death or glory (which that phrase is tattooed on my thigh but that’s a story for another day)

I didn’t want to give up so every day I would unfold that £10

‘If I spend you? I’m dead, your family need you so get the fuck out there and make it happen’

I said that every morning

Because even though I was close to cracking and truly the most tired I’ve ever been

Every day I would go out there and hustle interviews out of nothing

Eventually I got a job

My ass was saved

I quit the club eventually; was exhausting but saved my ass

I learned a lot about myself during this time

I found a resilience I didn’t know I had

A gear I’ve never used before kicked in

As a quiet shy kid I was tougher than I thought

I didn’t quit

I wanted to

I wanted to – at the time – not be here

100%

But I kept going and here I am now

And that £10?

Thats been with me every since – now encased on plastic to keep it safe

It’s not been spent

I’m still here

It’s a daily reminder (it’s always in my eyeline everywhere I go) that I have hit rock bottom

And I made it back up

The whole point of this series was me sharing a story of me looking for ‘something’ and seeing if my past could help me connect to my future

– and more importantly my present –

I found what I was looking for

Tomorrow?

I’ll share it with you

Some of you?

Might be ‘turned off’ by what I’m gonna say

And that’s ok

But honestly I think what I’m going to share we ALL need to hear and be reminded of

Once again, thank you for reading

See you tomorrow

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When did you last clear the fuck out of your life…

Shit you don’t use…

Courses on your laptop…

People that don’t serve you…

?!?

So the lady with me runs the cleaning company I uses and her employee is essentially my back up mum

(I have her twice a week because ‘apparently’ not living like a feral manbeast is a thing…)

I was one of her first clients and she has since grown it into a little Brighton empire

She looks after me and I said

‘Can got help me bin the fuck out of my life’

Ever the entrepreneur?

She said yes

This is the start of 6 hours (yes six) of going room to room and harshly deciding what stays it goes

As much as I HATE HATE HATE cleaning and admin and sorting shit out

I’ll feel fucking awesome AFTER – and that’s what’s keeping my going

I’ve done the same with people in my life who have either outgrown one another or simply gone in different ways

Same with my health and fitness – binning shit that doesn’t serve me

Now it’s my physical space

Which brings me to you; when was the last time you said ‘fuck it’ and had a massive clear out?

Or do you like to hoard things for a ‘rainy day’ that never happens

My advice?

Get someone who has zero emotional attachment to your life and pay them to help clear it

Physical, digital or emotional

Clearing shit out gives you not only freedom but space for new shit (that’s probably better) to serve you…

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How important do you think thinks like manners, charm, politeness and generally being a gentlemen (or lady equivalent) is?

I checked out of a hotel this morning

Because #entrepredouche – it was a rather pleasant one

You find the staff in such places are usually extremely well trained and almost overly helpful

Saw an extended family leaving with a lot of luggage and DEMANDING they be seen to first ahead of the rest of us politely waiting for a taxi

They were so fucking rude

Making demands…

Being dismissive…

Turning their backs to staff mid conversation…

Aka no manners

(The hailed from a country that is traditionally not known for manners/politeness culturally – it’s how things are it seems)

It’s one of the true bug bears I have and I simply can’t ignore bad treatment of others – especially when there’s a sense of entitlement

When I’m in another country?

I spend time looking up what’s acceptable; what laws to obey, any religious considerations, any words of gestures that are ‘no no’s as well as trying to memorise a few phrases in the local language

– I believe making an effort is paramount –

So I asked them, politely, to please speak to hotel staff nicely or I would happily delay their ‘important’ journey – as well as my own – to prove a point

They subsequently apologised to the staff

And I went on my merry way

🙂

I see it a lot online

People speak to and about people that they would NEVER do in real life

(Mainly because it would probably get you slapped…)

There’s a sense of entitlement and arrogance that quite frankly I wasn’t raised to be like

Be forward
Be tenacious
Be cheeky
Be charming

But underpinning it all?

Be fucking polite

I believe in treating people how they treat me; and I try be nice to everyone

I have bad days time to time…

Peoples messages sometimes lack nuance or the right emoji to offset or lean the message the right way

But I swear it’s something on the up and something I don’t want to be a part of

I’m sure i could of got more followers, more £££, more influence being a ruthless rude bastard

– I simply can’t be arsed –

Sure people talk a generous amount of shit behind my back

But day to day?

Zero stress

I just potter along doing my own thing

For 2020 if you are looking to be/achieve/do more?

I’d keep this as a focus on your business; treat people how you want to be treated

It gets you surprisingly far

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(The ‘casual lovers’ tip to get more clear, get productive and get more shit DONE….and blag a bargain to boot)

So yesterday I said that I would show you how (when I need to, I do this every 2-4 months it seems) I get:

– clear

– focused

– productive

– happy

– £££

Some of you may know that you can do this – and there IS more to this than asking (which I’ll come to, I have a ‘system’)

But did you know you can book a hotel from 9-5, for a FRACTION of the cost – generally I get them around £60 I find – use ALL the facilities AND have a nap too

Yep, you can

This shit works like stink as change location = change state

+

If you do it like I do? Tends to work really rather well

This is what I do

1. Make a list of hotels in the commutable area and hit the phones (don’t email)

I then call them up, generally around 10am as the AM rush is gone and ask them what their rack rate is for a day room

If the person doesn’t know what it is? Ask to speak to a supervisor I’ve YET too find one that wont offer me one

Premise being its better to have SOME money than NONE – aka an empty room

– and as I said earlier don’t ask how I found out about this –

#ihavesomequestionableexes haha

2. Get your supplies in beforehand

As you can see, I have a few things with me

I ALWAYS get a new notepad and pens when I do this

There’s something about a ‘fresh start’ when the mind is muddled

I also always have:

– fiction book

– biz/marketing/entrepreneur book

– personal/self development book

3.Get dirty

Go though the books, highlight the chapters that resonate with you – read them – take notes

Do NOT be precious about it

Yes you are fucking up a few books but we are looking for huge clarity and new ideas here so let your mind run free

Take note of ideas that resonate with you and write them down

Spend an hour or two doing this

4. Nap

Seriously

Every time I do this process, when I wake up – generally within a minute or so of waking – I get an answer I need/clarity/a great musing

Your subconscious is smarter than you

Close down your ‘tabs’ (your non stop chattering monkey mind!) and let it do its ting

5. Queue it up

I LIVE by queue cards

Once I have done all the above I have a double espresso, put on some looped music (usally one song that gets me amped AF) and I just rattle the fuck out of the cards

I write idea after idea

Hook after hook

Thought after thought

If I get stuck?

I pace around the room, do some press ups, dance around like a loon (Dont I Sarah) – anything to get the blood pumping

Then I read my notes from earlier the day and start again with the cards

The secret is NOT being perfect

That’s for TOMORROW you

Get whats in your head, OUT – and tomorrow go through the cards with a more ‘rational’ mind

Use the 3/5 system (with the 1-2-3 ranking as per HTBFA) and then plug it into your diary

Et voila

New ideas

Clarity

Less fuzzy head

New revenue ideas

Inspiration

This is like a brain dump but more furious and less ‘neat’ if that makes any sense

And, well, of your smart…

6. Be charming (it gets you far)

Take your time to talk to the staff, ask to thank the manager, be a kind/genial/charming human

It gets you UPGRADES

Its – as a rule – NO skin of their nose to give you a better room

This room has:

– a fucking amazon rainforest as a shower

– a sick coffee machine

– a balcony

– a table football game

– a PS4 and Wii

It cost me the grand total of?

Le zero

🙂

I made an effort to have a GENUINE conversation – aka took a fucking interest – and asked if they had any upgrades

(And if you fancy a naughty night out, you can often get overnight for bargain as if its not booked – why not?)

The above sounds SO simple doesn’t it?

But it WORKS

It works so so so well its ridiculous

Oh and if I was you, find one with a sweet spa – there’s something gloriously indulgent about smashing in a load of work and then soaking your bones as a reward

(That and I 100% LOVE tarting around in a robe. Robe life is sexy AF)

7. But be DISCIPLINED

I don get to go to the spa or have a nice food if I don’t do the work

That’s it

I’m VERY hard on myself

You HAVE to exert some discipline in your life and if you want to get ahead

Do the work?

Get a reward

Don’t?

Then you don’t

Simple

Notifications OFF – on everything

Family need to get in touch? Give em your room number when you check in

That’s what the key is to making this work

Like everything in life eh?

***************

And that’s it, what do you think – would you be willing to give it a go?

If you have anything you want to add to it? Then I’m welcome for any other tips you have for achieving:

– clarity

– productivity

– new biz ideas

– fun

Simple

Effective

Most wont do it

^^^ but those that do and stick to the outline above?

WILL get ahead and feel light as a balls after

(I always do)

And seeing as I’m feeling generous, if you feel you need a day like the above?

Let me know WHY below

If I see someone deserving?

My treat….

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Eat your veg before you treat yourself to dessert

It’s Sunday
I’m doing 90 mins of minging leg training
It’s arm day

I don’t want to be training legs
I want to be training arms

However I didn’t get a chance (had to rest my 39 year old spine due to packing all the boxes 😭)

What am I talking about? Simple:

Too many folks either a) put off the shit they need to to, b) justify it to themselves/make excuses, or c) aren’t prepared to do the work needed to create a lasting change

If you want to get ahead (in any areas of life) your not just going to have to keep your word to others…

…but keep your word to yourself

Don’t keep eating dessert before you have had your veg

EARN the right to do the stuff you want to do ONCE you have done the work…

Hard work – let’s be honest – ISNT fun

But once it’s done you KNOW you deserve that metaphorical cake eh?

😘

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