Coffee With Dan

Time

It doesn’t matter how much you earn or how successful you are, Father Time cannot be cheated

I see so many people on here bickering and being shitty and wasting so much precious time and energy over complete bullshit that doesn’t even matter

I invested wisely in some ways

Wasted poorly in others

Made me realise what’s important and what’s not and that – moving forward what I will aggressively push towards…

…and equally retreat away from

If no harm is being done?

Live and let live

Because ultimately?

Life is precious

And life is short

The more I spend time online the more I realise that the world offline is where I need to invest as well as ‘double down’ on this people hat value me and visa versa online

Not wasting it on negative fuckery or with people who either add no value to our lives or just take take take

It needs to be spend people who value us

Respect us

And want to be with us

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that there are truly good people who even though aren’t in my life per second anymore or are ‘virtual’ (aka my digital brothers and sisters)

Still make the time to make the time when it matters

Equally there are people who proclaim to be there for you and when you need it

*crickets*

Shit like that used to get to me but now I realise it’s just people being people

No need to be angry

Just step forward and make peace with it

And my advice – which you can take or leave because, let’s just be honest – I’m just a dude from Facebook

Whether you are religious or not

Whatever your beliefs are

Our time on this planet is brief and can be cut short at any time

You have a finite investment ‘pot’ in your time

Invest wisely

Waste sparsely

Enjoy your time and your loved ones people of FB

And don’t forget to do what makes you happy

One roll of the dice

Don’t waste it

D

PS I posted this a year ago today when o went to see my Grandad for the last time

Popped up on memories and thought would be good to share here

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Fake lives
Fake businesses
Fake social media

Fake. Fake. Fake.

I’ve never hidden the fact that I have a unique brain

What I have (hypomania) has taken me years to get under control

It’s a blessing and a curse

One of the side effects is when I’m ‘up’; I can go days without sleep – or very little – have been existing on roughly 2/3 hours a day for 4 days I think now

During this time my mind simply revs faster and faster

I think things through, seemingly making 100’s and 1000’s or connections and solutions

I’ve found myself becoming tetchy during this time and needed a day or so to analyse what I was thinking and feeling

As much as fucking love social media; what it has done for my and so many people in my life

It’s a double edged sword

I see grandiose boasts…

Impossible things claimed as real…

Hollow platitudes with zero depth behind then…

Weak, watered down, copied content…

Fake bullshit everywhere

One thing I’ve tried to do is be as honest as I can; share the realities of last entrepreneurship and share freely

Highs and lows

Wins and losses

And I put my fucking all into what I do; I know I can sometimes be a bit blunt or flippant – but always meant with good nature and a nod towards infotainment

But I’m pissed

I’m tired of people talking such utter Shute on social media

Case in point

You want more?

I DO MORE

Fucking HUNDREDS of you wanted to do the content challenge

Only a handful of you actually show up and do anything (fair play to you for doing what you said you won’t do FYI)

Which is – of course – your right

I can’t make you

By the 4th day the lack of action showed totally demotivated me and I NEVER get that

Hence needed time to figure out why I was so pissed

And honestly it’s because I actually do give a flying fuck

But if your actions don’t match your words, then honestly you need to dial down your expectations from life

Because you won’t achieve anything close

How you do one thing?

Is how you do all things

You can kid yourself all you want

But if your not prepared to show up, do the work, and achieve what I truly believe everyone CAN achieve if they put in the time

Leave

Please just leave this group now

Because I want this group which will ALWAYS remain free – a promise I won’t break – to be filled with people who actually give a shit

I built a large part of my businesses and career on giving

The responses to questions and poss asking for help and advice in this group – from good people who need help – have been fucking dire

Those of you that take time to help your fellow humans?

I tip my digital hat to you

Fucking awesome

But to those who just take and take and take?

Again

Please leave

This is supposed to be a community of people who may not know either other outside the pixels of social media take toke time to be there for one another

By the main thing it’s about is GETTING SHIT DONE

If you are happy where you are in life and don’t want more money…

More time…

Or more freedom…

Then I’m truly happy for you and – really – would love to hear how you achieved those things

But if you don’t just want, but fucking DEMAND more from life?

SHOW THE FUCK UP

Don’t lurk…
Be helpful…
Contribute (yes you’re worthy)…
Don’t just take…

And the main thing?

Don’t be fake

And what I mean by that is don’t be in this group and say you are going to get shit done and then lie to yourself that you actually are

It doesn’t hurt me

I’m fine

It hurts you

This may all sound a bit harsh but fuck it; it’s my daft bearded face up there on the banner and if a few people get butt hurt because of his post BUT it lights a rocket under the rest of your asses

Worthy sacrifices

Entrepreneurship saved my life, secured my sisters future, got a home got my folks and through my work has helped hundreds of thousands of other

I get sad and angry and pissed off with people falling for fake shit and believing this world is easy

It’s not

It can be fucking brutal at times

But if you stay the course it’s the most rewarding thing you can do that can change lives

But I’m done with the bullshit

I’ll continue to show up
I’ll continue to do & create what I can to help
I’ll be here every god damn day

And I hope you will join me in showing up and doing the work

If you have been kidding yourself

I get it

I truly do

I did myself for so many fucking years

Believed all my lies
Believed all my hype

And it took a close friend to call me out on my fake assed actions as they didn’t match my words

It hurt
It stung
But it changed the course of my life

So in closing

This group will always be about you AND me; it’s a community and we are – as far as I’m concerned – in it together

But if you are here just to take, not be an active (no matter HOW small) member of this community, or want to kid me and you that you are doing the work you say you are

Please leave

No hard feelings

Really

And to those of you that actually want to get more out of this group, life, money, freedom – whatever it is that’s drives you

I look forward to seeing your honest asses tomorrow

You are worthy
You are valued
You will be supported

You have my word

Dan

PS if you are struggling, need help or advice ASK

I’ll ensure no one makes you feel stupid or any less important than anyone else

We are all equal; some of us just a little fitter ahead and have more skills

And for those of us in that category?

It’s our DUTY to help

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Show that you give a fuck with your actions

We live in a batshit world

Never have so many been so connected yet have felt so alone and under appreciated

It’s a truly mind blowing and brilliant time to be alive; but as I wander around observing life and speaking to humans I continually see couples and families nose deep into phones

Last few days?

I had Teggles down with me

When we went for a walk, breakfast, dinner, bowling, pedicure (and yes straight single men get their feet pampered lol)

My phone = stayed at home

One of the biggest (and cheapest) gifts you can give is your time, presence, thanks and gratitude

Today MAKE time to connect with YOUR humans

The humans that have your back..

The humans that make you smile…

The humans that love you unconditionally…

The humans that pay yore bills…

The humans that show you love – virtual or IRL…

A call
A text
A small gift
An offer of help
A thank you

Doesn’t matter

Today?

Make TIME

because it runs out faster than you think and one day you simply won’t be able to

Do it now

Let me know what you do and how it feels

Maybe even use this as an opportunity for reconnect with someone that has fallen by the wayside

Whatever IT is

Do IT today

Thank me later

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Do you ever feel like this?

Are you constantly looking at your posts and worried that you aren’t getting enough comments and likes?

Worried that what you post or email is going to ‘expose’ you somehow as a fraud or fake (even though you know your shit)?

Do you see people who you know aren’t as talented/skilled as you do better than you and it hammers you down?

Is there a constant fear that you simply aren’t good enough?!

Let me tell you something

EVERYONE feels like this at times, ESPECIALLY Entrepreneurs…

Fuck even I do, probably more often than you think!

I’m constantly trying to improve or better myself; as well as what I offer

When you start out it seems like everyone is better than you, and you look at people who are doing better than you and think

‘Fuck, I could never be like them’

Then you start to grow and things start to get better – you get traction and likes and sales

Good times

Shall I tell you what’s an absolute shit lord?

When you have been around for a little while

You’re no longer ‘new kid on the block’ (so you have lost that ‘bright shiny object’ side of things)

Yet you aren’t the ‘establishment’

You feel pressure to keep up with the new people who have entered your world, have to deal with the backstabbing and the gossip and people trying to bring you down…

(That last one is especially hard when it comes from people you trusted or once classed as friends…it happens)

…yet you haven’t quite made it to the point when your name and reputation can bring in the bacon day after day

Such is the world we have chosen

I would say it’s the curse of the entrepreneur to never feel like they are good enough…

Never satisfied…

Always wary of what’s going to ‘attack’ next…

It’s why I wanted to write this today

Most days?

I feel like I can crush pretty much anything (or, if needed, anyone)

But the downside of having what I have (a painfully good visual and emotional memory & hympomania combined, too long to explain here) is that I can’t unsee or unhear what I hear

Every single day I my mind whirrs; juggling the value I add, my competitors, my own inner monologue, some fucked up internal ‘rating’ against every single area of my life

It is – to be honest – both relentless and at times exhausting

It doesn’t stop

And after hitting high after high after high (epic new 121 client, getting my new book sorted, the amazing Free Shit Friday) – I thought

Fuck, what now?!

(And fortunately now sans vodka and with a Clear mind I can move this on fast, and I’ll share how I do it soon)

So if you are feeling like this?

Let me tell you this is fucking normal; I have been in a room when I was starting out with 6, 7 and even a few 8 figure earners

And over drinks and quiet conversations the self doubt and negative self talk is something all of us face

I wanted to share this here as many of you are stating out, and equally many you are valiantly trudging on in your journey

Yes it will be tough and yes there are times where you will doubt yourself, your worth and your ‘value’ to the world

I wanted to say you are not alone

I can teach you all social media skills, copywriting, sales, advertising – whatever

But if YOU don’t believe in yourself?

You’re fucked

I know this as there have been multiple times I have wanted to give up and if it weren’t for the support and belief of others…I likely would have

So yes use this group and its denizens to learn and skill up and connect and make money

But the power in this tribe is the fact you have TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU, to keep you going

Stay strong

You ARE good enough

You got this.

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Who are you – and would you like to find out?

This is me according to the 16 personalities test (which you can take here and would love to know your results/thoughts: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test)

As you can see even the sum on the first page kinda sounds like me

But this test was a ‘light build’ moment for me a year ago (along with the KOLBE strengths finder)

Why?

Because I simply stopped focusing on the Shit I wasn’t good at

Me?
I’m ideas
I’m passion
I’m gut feeling
I’m energetic
I’m into people and connecting

Systems
Structure
Solitude

Less so

So I now know what areas I need to add in personally and professionally

This has helped me dial in who I am as a person as well as to recruit the right people into my world

Would love to see what this group is made up of – as well as my fellow oddballs!

🙂

Oh, it also gives you your idea personal match too – I’m suited to at INTJ apparently

So who are you then?

Was the test (also known as meyers-Briggs) right?

Anything give you an ‘aha’ or ‘fuck…’ moment?!

Have fun and try not to be too weirded out when it nails you!

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The less you give a fuck, the more fun, money, and opportunities you make

Let me state this before I go on:

(and you know this)

NONE OF YOU ARE GETTING OUT ALIVE

Unless Musk finds a way to get us downloaded via some jack in the head

When you’re gone?

You’re gone

🙂

I am judged – rightly so – by those who only know the surface; don’t know my backstory, previous successes or only have interacted lightly

I’m whimsical

I’m daft

I don’t take anything overly seriously

(Side note: I DO take shizzle seriously when it comes to peoples investment, family, friends, partner – if I had one that is – I swear to fuck I attract fucking nutters lol; but that’s not for now)

Now I say this as – quite frankly – AN OVERLY EMOTIONAL EMPATHETIC MELT

I have had to learn to control my emotions

Now?

Good shit
Bad shit

All the same

Had a lovely mid 5-figures drop into my account courtesy of Stripe and some consulting gigs last week

Cool

Had to block someone who I used to have feelings for and saw a post where someone gave me some shit (was sent to me)

Cool

Easy come
Easy go

Of course, good shit is better than bad shit – but equally, they are both shit (that sounded better in my head…)but I don’t get overly excited or bothered or happy or sad about anything anymore

And as a result?

I’m now pretty chill

Very at ease in my own company

Don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy

I’m in control

Something I like doing makes me happy, adds value to my life, helps my clients out, makes the universe a better place

Well, I do more of that

Something or someone in my life pissing me off/sapping my energy, behaviours of mine holding me back, or generic bullshit

I either fix it or get rid of it

I don’t feel much anymore

It’s all just – well – things and stuff

if you are living a good life, giving back, having fun and not hurting anyone

That’s good shit as far as I’m concerned

I just wanna check out of life more in the black than green, have made a difference, provided for my nearest and dearest and the main thing

— for me —

Is to of had a giggle doing it

I won’t be serious

I can’t be fucked

I don’t want to adult

It’s boring as shit

That’s why I want to live in a hotel, ride motorbikes and do silly things while dressed in unicorn attire

I care about providing, making others happy and doing a good job

I don’t really give a fuck about anything else

I’ll do me

You do you

If I can help you ‘do you’ better

Then that’s cool

If you think I’m a massive cock womble and you would rather learn from a ‘book/lambo/garage’ based wanker?

Then that’s cool too

I have never liked being told what to do – and yet that is what we are conditioned to do so from a young age

Do as we are told
Colour in between the lines
Don’t step out of line

Get the fuck

As long as I’m not harming anyone – I’ve always thought I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to TBH

Fanks

And the more I have been like this?

The better life has got

yes bills have to be paid

So have taxes

You’re a part of society so you kinda have to chip in

But outside of that?

Don’t take this shit so seriously

No one really gives a fuck anyways – the only person who is worried about you looking like a tit most often is you

And those that give you shit?

Let me tell you this from 4+ years of doing the online thing

They aren’t around
No one invites them to anything
Their impact is about as noticeable as a gnat in the ocean

I’ve had my share of shit bags, and at best they are scraping a living of have their handful of shit bag followers who suck up to them

They ain’t worth your time

And if you ignore them they are like a dog turd in a field; soon it starts to decompose and your view – in time – becomes shit free

🙂

My advice?

Care about what’s important
Look after the right people
Make sure YOUR cup is filled first
Stop giving a fuck about shit that ain’t important

and

Go have some bloody fun youtube

😘

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Want to change your life for the better?

Wouldnt it be great is you could just do a thing once and then your life was better for good.

Unfortunately it’s something you have to keep on working on.

The good news I’ve found that there’s really just 4 things you’ve got to work on

Health, Wealth, Connectivity & Productivity

Health

This is all matters related to your physical and mental health; including exercise, mobility, sleep, nutrition and hydration

Wealth

Business revenue generate, sales, products launched and personal wealth – can also include savings. In reference to debt also

Productivity

Daily/weekly/monthly routines in place and adherence, systems used/in place, outcomes relative to inputting hours work (e.g. are you working smart or hard) – overall ‘implementation’ focus

Connectivity

Can be a mixture of quality time with friends/family/loved ones, social events in relation to time spent working/on own, hobbies, meditation/down time, Rest & relaxation, non-social media contact

Keep an eye on how you’re doing with those, top up by taking action in the areas needing a little extra attention and you’re sorted.

It’s really that straightforward.

Remember – this isn’t about taking on the world and transforming your life in a flash.

Quickest path to failure is people making grand plans they can’t stick to.

Choose one little thing that’ll improve each area then another and another.

Before you know it, these little regular check-ins become a habit and those little actions you do to work on each area compound over time

You’re gonna have to say bollocks to balance though.

It’s a myth.

Life happens.

You’re pottering along just nicely and all opf a sudden life leaps out of the shadows and bends you over.

Equally, if you’ve got big goals or you’re only just getting started you’re gonna have to make some sacrifices along the way.

You’ll push your limits.

You’ll reduce the time you have available for relationships.

You’ll find yourself making a deep investment that’ll leave cashflow a little precarious.

All for the greater good of your life and business.

It’ll only be temporary but those phases will come and go.

Try to stay too balanced and you may be sacrificing more than you realize.

BUT

If you keep these at the front of ya mind.

Regularly check in on how you’re doing in the areas of health, wealth, connectivity & productivity.

Even when you are in sacrifice mode or life comes at you

You won’t tilt too far off course in those areas and you’ll be ready to invest in them to raise their scores as soon as you come out the other side

💋

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I sent an email out before, I had a couple of hours to kill before a client arrived for a private consulting day.

It wasn’t anything fancy (in fact was struggling to think of anything to write), but decided to simply ask people to talk to me.

You know, tell me how they are, if they are ok – have a little whinge and moan if they felt like it (sometimes just writing it out and sharing it helps.)

Nutshell version:

I was stunned.

There are some truly awesome people, people I have chatted to here, in private, in person and Skype…and they are going through some seriously tough times.

And if you were to look at their FB profile, you wouldn’t even know there was anything wrong.

It’s so easy to project a happy, issue-free life (especially with social media) – that you would never know that someone close to you could be struggling like fuck.

I know I have been there.

There are times where I have posted up some whimsical status, ACCOUNTABILITY post, update when I have been unable to even get changed, out of bed, feed myself or face the world.

We all have problems.

And I’m not sure if it’s more a guy thing, but as a friend just told me (we were talking about some of our experiences coaching people, no names of course) – bottling that shit up will end you.

Possibly for realzies.

What’s the point of his post?

Well firstly all my energy got invested in my visitor today, so I promise I will reply to each and every email tomorrow.

Secondly; you ain’t alone.

To the ones that shared with me; I hear similar often – it happens. Being an entrepreneur is a tough fucker at times.

(In fact, it can be as unpleasant as dry ‘alternative route’ loving without even a smile or a Hank you after.)

That and I reckon we (as a group of such people’s) tend to attract hose a little free-spirited and creative – and seem like we are a little more ’emotionally dynamic’.

Now I’m not a qualified therapist, mindset coach of similar – but if you feel like you want to share, get some shit off your chest? You can email me at dan@coffeewithdan.com.

I can’t guarantee I can help but like I said before, just getting it out of your head helps.

But do me a favour?

If you are suffering a bit – call your folks, friends, partner, someone you trust on here – don’t fight on solo.

You will be amazed at the people that do care.

Normal, sweary, abusing, marketingy shizzle will resume tomorrow.

Off to recharge 🙂

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When people want to get more shit done – in business or life – it’s amazing how many set utterly ridiculous goals that for most people set them up to fail

Some folks?

Lazy as fuck

They NEED to go ‘all in’ for a period of time, they have not experienced the mental frazzle of overwhelm and they simply have not pushed themselves or (as many do) kid themselves that they are actually doing what they say they are

Most?

From our surveys are spinning too many plates and as a result either don’t start or think ‘fuck it’I’m done

Both not ideal…

What I’m going to show you is a version of we use in espresso with Dan, and has been adapted to create the GSD bot

(Which is actually brilliant)

I’ve made this a bit simpler for everyone who is following along so there’s no excuse to NOT do it

First set a goal for the week

Ideally it needs to be something important, business or life critical – something you may of been putting off for a while

The goal?

Challenging but not crushing; something that is possible if you pushed

Next I want you to THINK

Think of a minimum of 3 things…

…and a maximum of 5 things that you can do

EVERY DAY

Instead of chopping and changing daily, do your best to identify 3-5 things you could do every day to get your goal

For example

BIZ
– 3 email pitches a day
– one hour researching prospects and putting into spreadsheet
– 4 social media posts and one offer

^^^ simple isn’t it

You can’t guarantee your actions will achieve that goal it’s a best escuted guess

– Track it (aka write it down somewhere)
– type them up and put in your mobile phone on repeat at the same time every day (for 5/7 days)
– do what your phone tells you

Then at the end of the week, review and adjust up or down

If you achieve goals and it crushed you – maybe dial it down or, should you wish, to again if it’s mega crucial

Fuck all achieved? Don’t beat yourself up about it but recognise it didn’t work; think what did/didn’t work, adjust effort, removed obstacles etc

Action steps to get shit DONE

1 . Chose a challenging but not crushing goal you will achieve next week. Put in the comments

3. Think what you could do (same thing every day) for 5-7 days to achieve that goal. Put them in the comments

Simple eh?

Over to you…

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