Coffee With Dan

To say I was stunned at the reaction I’ve had to my talk is an understatement

Humbled really doesn’t do it justice

I was brutally honest and said that I didn’t know often what I was doing – until AFTER I had done it

Bit of reverse engineering and good to go

One think that a surprisingly large amount of people were uncomfortable with, or simply don’t do is video

Mark Whitehand has a great storytelling method, and has filmed me and my friends and done an amazing job

But as much as you can learn from the guy, if you want THAT magic?

You need to hire him

However I taught a group of 100+ people a quick and dirty way to:

– communicate with your audience

– create compelling stories using infotainment

– basic set up that makes you look professional

Firstly start brainstorming ideas. Either carry a notepad or have a little Evernote on your phone and every time you get an idea for something you could teach your audience

Wrote it down

Get a stack of them together to start with, then when you have 30+, pick one and write it down in a post it note or piece of card at the top

Next write 3-5 bullet points that are in line with the topic underneath

If you are holding the phone, clamp this between your fingers and the phone so you can use the selfie camera and still see the points

Press record

Go

I’m now a HUGE fan of doing this LIVESTREAM now

Why?

Because the fear of fucking up, doing it over and over again, and then NOT doing it is simple removed

Live in 3…2…1 and your on

Trust me this helps you ‘get over’ the problems you have NOT doing this, because you have just announced to your audience

Remember your audience are your audience because YOU have skill, value and something useful to share

But for the love of God do NOT hard teach – as a rule it needs to have a good story of two, be infotaining and you want to demonstrate your value but also keep people’s attention and enjoy their time with you

If you can evoke emotion?

Even better too

Don’t try and be someone you are not, enjoy it, keep it simple (3-5 key takeaways), don’t over think it – and practice

Like do this every day for 30 days

Every day WITHOUT FAIL

And I guarantee you in a month your audience will be more connected to you, you will of added value and, your reach will of grown and you probably will of made some sales too

Getting over yourself quite a good thing eh? 😉

You have, if I remember correctly, 0.3 of a seconds to grabs someone’s attention on social media.

This…

Caught my attention!

Now the lady in question, Elisa, is a very successful relationship coach….and the REST of the message was very useful advice, interesting, and gave insight into what she does for people around the world.

But without that headline?

Would I of stopped?

Would anyone else of stopped?

Who knows?

No, whether you agree – or disagree (you know the rules, be fucking nice!) – with what was said, you have to hand it to her – a very smart move. Even if you read it; and think;

‘You cheeky fuck’

When you read the REST of the copy? It ‘undoes’ any negative feelings you may of had.

Like I said, smart

Also, I am a HUGE fan of cheekiness, humour and infotainment and this ticks all the boxes.

So my challenge to you:

If you dare

I want you to write a post that is:

– bold

– possibly polarising

– ‘stops you in your tracks copy’

– with a congruent image

TRY – to grab someone’s attention and bring them into your world

• Don’t fake it
• Don’t try be someone your not
• Be YOU – But be a BOLD version of you
• Make an offer
• See if you can get someone in your world

See what happens?

When you have done it post up below….

Saw this on a site, and don’t think it could sum me any easier

You?

Yesterday, fuck me what a crazy day

I think there is something about NYC that gets me all excited

It’s a crazy city

The people are amped

The skyline makes me happy

Makes me realise how far I’ve come

From the tilapia and oats days

To looking out across the city, from a fancy big ole car

You can always do better

You can always do more

You can always improve

You can always be a better asshole 😉

The point of this post

Well, whatever it is you are doing – when was the last time you invested in your skills, your knowledge or your abilities?

Or have you been ticking along with what you know?

I’m about to speak to a room of online coaches, who have travels from all over the world to up level their skills

When was the last time you invested in yourself?

Am

Intrigued…..

What limitations do you put on yourself?

Are you telling yourself you can’t do something?

Is someone else telling you that you can’t do something?

Have you been brought up to think you can’t do something?

Sat here in cost, listening to ‘Zombie’ by Breed 77, and the line that i keep hearing over and over again

‘its in your head, its in your head’

Really, it is!

I’ll share a little something, I truly used to suffer badly with being able to switch off. In fact, when I hurt my back the only time I ever got my brain to ‘shut up’ was heaven because I was checking myself out with Valium every evening to lessen the pain.

(hence the term I came up with ‘Ambivalent’ which I think is kinda cool)

I couldn’t sleep when I was a kid unless I had the TV or radio on quietly as it would distract my mind enough to drift off.

In fact, until my early 30’s I would still have to fall asleep listening to some stand up comedy, podcast or music of simply I would like there and think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Fucking think

Honestly, I truly thought it was going to drive me insane.

But do you know what the most insidious ‘voice’ was?

The thoughts that I would never **something** – key highlights include:

– lose weight

– have money

– get strong

– have a girlfriend

– die alone

– fail my family

^^^ I lost track of the little bastards to be honest, but imagine that. Every day, your own bloody brain telling you than you weren’t good enough.

Grey little twat.

(why I poisoned him with the detailed potatoes for so long ha)

But ultimately we have a choice to make:

1. To listen to the voices in our (not like that, I’m nuts but not ‘proper’ – well yet anyways lol), the voices from others, from society, our fronds, our family, our partners our colleaguesor
2. We have a choice NOT to listen

As, the large gentleman on this picture proclaims:

Fuck

Average

Some of the most successful people I have met of course worked hard, leveled up their skills, put the hours in – but equally there is something that I wish, i truly wish I had know so many years ago:

‘It truly is your choice’

You don’t have to ask for anyone’s permission to do anything when you are a ‘grown up’

Want something?

Go take it!

Now I’m NOT saying fuck someone over – but I’m trying to say if there is something you want to do, someone you want to pitch to, someone you want to ask out, something you want to launch?

Just fucking

Beast, or bitch

Your choice…..

How many times have you had something like this happen to you:

– Will you promote X for me

– I want you to introduce me to Y

– Tell me how you did Z in your business

But

They have

– never connected with you before (this is their first discussion with you)

– never invested a penny with you

– are SOLELY looking out for themselves, and see you as a ‘stepping stone’ to what they need

You all know I like a bit of filth – but I really couldn’t think of a better analogy.

Its not enjoyable, its uncomfortable and can be pretty painful for both parties.

I don’t know if some people are just ignorant, or it doesn’t even cross their mind that what you have spent thousands of hours and pounds getting good at….

…they think you will happily give them for free?

So I made a simple little check list that makes this a little more ‘spit heavy’

1) Make friends with people

Not hard, connect, have genuine conversations, get to know one another.

2) Give before you ask

Want someone to do something for you? Well do something for them first. DON’T expect them to repay the favour, but offering to help, give your time, introduce them to someone, or ‘hook them up’ always is a good place to start

3) Value THEIR time and expertise

If they are really good at something, it will of probably cost them a fair bit of time & money to get there. Think about what you are going to say before you say it. Little bit of tact goes a long way

4) Pay them

If I have invested in someone, I feel a lot more comfortable asking for someone. The people in PLAT, my private clients, ESPRESSO WITH DAN peeps and anyone who has paid for my time get FIRST priority

Why? Because it’s the right thing to do

So next time you are looking for a cheeky leg up, an intro, or something that’s just out of your grasp?

A little bit of saliva goes a long way….

I am all for lofty goals, ‘BHAGS’ and pushing both the envelope and ones comfort zone, but in the last few days I have some glorious and spectacular failures; and the level of hubris show has been something else.

AND THIS IS COMING FROM ME!

Case in point, a few individuals have:

– declared that their ‘thing’ [seems to be either a) some sort of coaching programme, b) a digital product or c) a retreat as a rule] is going to change the world – THE ENTIRE WORLD NO LESS!!

– It is, of course, a ‘game changer’. Not sure what the game is, but holeeeeee fuck – its gonna change it

– Sprinkle copy & videos with ‘Epic’, ‘Next Level’, ‘ground breaking’, ‘the future of X….’ and possibly ‘the universe asked put me on the planet to do this’

– add liberal dose of false scarcity (this is especially glorious if a digital product, because you know – electrons – expensive as shit!)

Well what now Dan? How do I complete this epic (lol) recipe?

Well you finish off with

– A grand total of fuck all people buying your thing

– garnish with social media posts saying instead of doing the thing, you are now reflecting, making it better, have ebola – whatever

– Wait a month or so, do another fucking daft thing – this one is going to change the GALAXY (oh do shut up)

Repeat

Christ, even my folks Pug could learn quicker than this, and its really quite dumb (albeit sweet)

I am ALL for making a difference, helping your fellow man, doing your life work and truly ‘going for it’

But what happened to

1. a) getting really fucking good at something first
2. b) creating something that people ACTUALLY want
3. c) helping just ONE person first, then 2, then there – not being a massive bell end and stating:

‘I want to break America with my thing’

How about you break your local town, or try get ONE person online to invest in your first?

Could that be a thing?

Could it?

Maybs….

Look, what I teach may not be very sexy – but I’ve spent years, many years learning this stuff, and built my audience slowly, organically, with fucks ups, with successes, and never being so arrogant that I think that Im **that** special that EVERYONE HAS TO HEAR MY MESSAGE OH BY THE WAY BUY MY SHIT

I just try do my best

Move the needly forward every day

Help as much as I can

Try not let morons and toxic people bring me down

AND KEEP DOING WHAT I CAN TO GET BETTER

I don’t need to change the world

My philosophy is if, I can leave any interaction with me that the person is better off, inspired, skilled up or event knows that they DONT want to do something

Thats awesome

One week away

One digital product

One programme

That YOU think is going to change the world

Aint going to do shit – BUT – its CAN change a handful of lives, and they in turn can help others – and THATS awesome

The market, your audience, you audience influence however – that, that is where you get results as they will tell you what they want

Start small

Work up

Get good

And figure out what people actually want

Then give it to them with passion, belief and drive

Done

Was speaking with my friend Justin Devonshire who on a call with a client of his, discussed the harsh reality of what we do as entrepreneurs.

We have some very experienced people here in the group and equally some very new and ‘green’ folks to this world.

It is NOT for everyone.

You see all the books, the courses, the digital ‘high fives’ from those who are making it work.

But we hear less from those who isn’t.

It’s all too easy to look at people who are already making it, and even though you hear their back stories, the struggles they have gone through to get where they are now:

When you have no money to pay the bills, you spend every second of your day working where the next pay check will come from, paralyzed by fear and you feel like giving up?

Where do you turn?

Do you know what it actually takes to achieve what you are looking to achieve?

Do you have the support, the drive, the ability to willingly sacrifice time, effort, energy?

Saw an article the other day about suicide rates in entrepreneurs.

It’s high!

It’s such a brutally lonely and tough journey at times and the higher up you get,

The lonelier it is.

I can’t stand when I see people slagging off those who give people shit who have jobs.

I miss having a job at times.

There is a lot to be said to being around people, routine, working towards one goal, being able to switch off when you get home.

When you decide to put your hand up and say ‘I’m going to do it my way’ no one prepares you for what it’s going to be like.

And, which is more insane, you end up spending so much time in your head that you create scenarios and ‘stuff’ that half the time never happens.

Nuts eh?

Not too sure what my thoughts were behind his post, or why I wrote it to be honest just felt like sharing.

There’s nothing wrong with choosing to settle or going ‘all in’

Just like in anything in life for all the smooth, you have the rough to deal with too.

My dad – aka Big Papa Nige – found this bling monstrosity in an old box of Dan things

(I swear I had the taste of a fucking magpie)

Anyways; he found it, whipped a battery in and now is walking around a dinner plate on his wrist covered in diamantés

Love it!

I used to care SO much what people thought.

What did it do for me?

Bollock all

Now?

I do my own thing.

Dance to my own beat.

Couldn’t give a tuppenny fuck what people think anymore and as a result?

Life is good.

Now be honest with yourself – how much of what you do is because of other people?

How much do you care about what people say about you?

Do you embrace your unique talents, quirks and down right wierd side?

If no? Why the fuck not?!

Life is so Bastard short why do you care so much about what other people think when they in all likelihood are too wrapped up in their own shit.

Peace out!

PS: my dad is a bling Bastard at 65 and he doesn’t give a toss

Be like my dad