Coffee With Dan

Fight to earn what you need to support the ones you love (and get angry if you’re not)

Today was challenging

Peeps in EWD know as planned to do a live so told em; the goat (my Dad) was back into hospital last few days and shits not fab

But the charming old devil was getting the nurses on side when I saw him so he could get extra treats

– I am my fathers son lol –

We don’t have an extended family

It’s me, mum, goat and my sister spud

That’s it

My family have always been there for me when I haven’t been well, and I’m proud I’m in a position to be able to help them when they need me

They haven’t asked

I’m just handling shit

Which is why I truly urge all of you to work as hard as you fucking can NOW so IF you need it?

You can be there for the ones you love

My mentor Dex said to me not so long ago

‘Money solves most problems’

And it does TBH

It gives you freedom to help those who need it and help yourself as I’m able to next week when shit needs to be DONE

Which is why I always advise focus on looking after your first

Get your own house in order – get paid – THEN look to help others

You simply can’t pour from an empty cup…

And if you’re not in that position?

You need to harness something deep inside to make you do the work that – let’s be honest – you probably don’t want to do

I’m able to help my family NOW because of the YEARS of 5am starts and 1am finishes, 6 days a week, that built the foundation of what I have now

It was exhausting but I just powered the Fuck through

I got pissed off and used that negative energy for good:

I was angry my folks had to work into their 60’s so hard

I was angry at the fact we (as a family) get fuck all help for my sister what other lazy fucks get hand put out after hand out

I was angry that I couldn’t give my family what they needed when they had given me all I got

I channeled that anger into energy and and I worked my ass off

Balance?

Fuck no

You get balance AFTER the hard yards have been walked

Sure you can have it at now if you want

But you probably won’t achieve all you want to achieve if you do

There needs to be an element of sacrifice if you want to achieve more

– only you can decide at what level you want to play –

But if your maybe a month or two away from being fucked…

If you aren’t where you need to be…

And if people rely on you?

Get angry
Get to work

It will suck ass now, but future you will be be grateful AF

Dan

**post posting edit**

PS Realised this could come across as one of those chest beating look at me raaaa alpha bullshit kinda posts

If it does – soz

I’m angry that my fam have to keep getting kicked in the teeth but I’m proud I can step up when they need

I don’t often think when I write I just share what’s in my head or heart

Hope someone got some value from this – appreciate you reading if you did

PPS in the scope of honesty I vaguely look like I have a bicep here so yeah I’m getting mileage out of it #polishedturd

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[So you know why I’m doing what I’m doing and asking what I’m asking]

Recently you will of seen me ask a few Q’s such as:

– what level of biz are you at
– what goals do you have outside of work

Being the last few (and I have a few more to come)

I believe in adding value

– I hope you know this –

But equally as a leader I believe it is my job to LEAD

You won’t find me asking insipid questions over and over again

Ya know why this is done?

1 – engagement, people love talking about themselves

2 – to feign interest thus building up a picture of your issues/weaknesses/obstacles to make closing you easier as you have told them what cracks to insert the knife and twist

🙃

For me I try use it to get a ‘lay of the land’ and my ego isn’t so fucking massive that I think I know it all

I don’t

Think of it as a ‘pulse check’

And then subsequent content is in alignment with a) my values and b) the greater good of the group

I will personally DM everyone who took time to comment on the pinned post with the content and a few suggestions depending on where they are at

Will I suggest some work with me?

100%

But I’m fucking open about it

I’ll equally suggest some folks invest in trusted partners

And yes I’ll be telling people who and what to steer away from as well

If you lead a group you have a DUTY to lead with courage and conviction and morals

If y’all JUST doing it to make £££

You don’t have a community as far as I’m concerned

You have a farm

How I see it like this

This is like a digital sea

Time to time I fish

If my bait is right, and I have picked the right spot

I’ll catch some fish

I see a fair few with groups – meh – it’s like they have a captive fish farm

There’s no effort because the fish can’t go anywhere due to the manipulation techniques used and because they have been fed the same (shitty) food every day they actually think it’s good for them

Hence when the food (bait) comes in from a fisherman

They just bite – no matter if it’s good or not

I’m not a greedy fuck; I do well and I enjoy what I do – no desperation from me

So when you see me asking Q’s and figuring shit out?

It’s so I can do my job and serve the masses not so I can prey on your weaknesses

For those that want to be caught – if my bait is good and nourishing – they will bite

May not be the smartest From a making all the £££ point of but fuck it

Sits right with me

So yeah if I think I can help – and I’m the right person to do it – I’ll say

If I’m not, I’ll recommend

But know this

What you a) have seen me ask and b) will see me ask is to benefit the group overall

I’d rather create LESS content that’s fucking gold and actionable than shitty post after shitty post- with a giggle and a competition and a challenge from time to time

Your time is valuable and if ask yourself to engage it’s for you as well as me

Anyways

Just to show you a little of what’s going on behind the eyes and why I’m doing what I’m doing

Any Q’s ask away, feedback welcomes as well as suggestions

Hope y’all having a good day

😘

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Are you working on your weak points (or even worse kidding yaself that your working at all)

?

This week

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Is gonna be a bastard; I’ve got a pretty cool goal for my 40th in June and I need to be a) lighter, b) more flexible and c) with able to withstand rapidly changing g-forces/impact

– it’s gonna be legit fam –

Anyways

It’s VERY easy to focus on the areas we are good at – I could it cracked on with my nutrition and lifted heavy assed weights (I’m relatively strong)

BUT

That’s all the shit I’m good at

This week – and the next 94 days are all about the weak points I have in not just my body, but my mindset, relationships, businesses, happiness

Tweak
Test
Adjust
Tweak
Test
Adjust

6 hours of my day, every day, is all about weakness in ALL the areas above

I’ve read the books
Had the calls
Consulted the experts

Thing is MOST people do exactly that – just what I’ve outlined

But they do DO THE WORK that needs to be done after knowing WHAT to do

– it’s not fun
– fairly boring most of the time
– painful (physically and mentally depending)

But the thing where most fuck up is the fact they want it NOW

Wanna feel good now?

Have a wank

Ya good?

Right

Now do the fucking work 😘

Twattery aside the stuff I’m doing now is really just not what I wanna be doing as I get no pay off NOW

I want the £££ NOW
I want the body NOW
I want the freedom NOW
I want the happiness NOW
I want the relationship NOW

– we all want it now –

And I’ll have all the above, I have a fair bit already – but there’s bits I don’t have

And for those bits I have to do the work

And the work that gets me those bits isn’t fun but it IS crucial

Everyone wants the end result no on sees the fuckery it took to get there

So if you aren’t there yet

KEEP FUCKING GOING

Because – and I can’t say when because there’s no way of knowing – but it kinda just ‘happens’ one day

And that ‘happening’ (surprise surprise) is after a sustained period of work for time

Shocker eh?

Keep it up y’all

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“What are you doing here, shouldn’t you be in the aerobics class twilglet?”

At 19 years old (and thats me in the picture!) that charming comment was levelled at me by what can only be described as ‘bigger boys’ when I joined David Lloyd ( – my first *proper* gym as a skinny young man.

After being quite a chubby (aka fat) teenager, I want though what I lovingly call my ‘manorexia’ phase where I only ate dinner, and ran 6 miles a night

Resulting in this 154lb physique, at 6ft tall as looked ill, as you can see

So, as a young man who was quite say and rather rubbish with girls did, I joined the gym

Which is where on my SECOND day, I heard that when I ventured, timidly, into he weights room.

I diligently went 3 times a week, **thought** I was giving it my all, and after a year of solid, hard work I had gained all of 10lbs

Thats it

Now as someone who truly hated how he looked, and didn’t enjoy confrontation I spent most of my nights out on the town in fear, worried if anything kicked off? I would be battered

Scared
Shy
Araid
ZERO confidnce

Great way to hit 20 eh?

Do you have ANY idea how many times I wanted to give up and say ‘fuck it’ Im always going to be skinny?

A lot
Daily in fact

Now I can’t explain to you how disheartened I was to look essentially like a stick man, and after I managed to secure an amazing but utterly cut-throat corporate job – I knew something had to change

Do you know what I did?

I bought 200k’s of weights

Bribed my parents to let me turn their garage into a gym

That, and told my friends I had left town

For just over 7 months I didn’t go out, didn’t see anyone (I was always ‘away’ working) and forced down 6500-7000 calories every day.

I ate until I was sick, was sick, and then kept eating

I woke up in the night (twice!!) to eat

That, and every single evening I did heavy assed basic as balls lifiting to th one tape that was stuck in the machine, Linking Parks first album

6 days a week

Never missed a workout

Never missed a session

And the result?

I went from around 165 to 240lbs in 8 months

No supplements
No drugs

Just consistent, hard, boring, daily fucking work

Thats it

So when people (and stuff gets back to me, its all good – people are entitled to their opinions) throw the ‘overnight success’ shit at me?

Go back though my feed

Everything, EVERYTHING I have done since I went ‘online’ has been pushing me towards where I am now

15+ international flights
45+ internal flights
100’s of thousands in masterminds, events, coaching and calls
1000’s of hours in training
20 A4 books of hand written out fucking pages of bloody copy (can you tell I liked that one ha)
18 hour days
Handfuls of nootropics, BUCKETS of coffee, sleepless nights and panicked mornings
That, and untold failures and fuck ups on a weekly basis!

(yeah, NO ONE hits a home run or has a clean sheet – i assure you…)

When it comes to ‘success’, or achieving ANYTHING the simple fact of the matter is nothing, NITHING beats consistent, forward momentum towards your goals

You are not going to get there in a few fucking months!

Sure, you can make some quick cash (if we are talking business here), but I guarantee you will be spending your life between feasts and famine

Building something, a business, a movement, a legacy

Takes a combination of time, relentless action, thick skin, sacrifice and constant, constant forward motion

Was it fun essentially putting my life on hold for 8 months to gain the muscle and strength I craved since I first saw ‘Arnie’ in Running Man?

Was it balls

Am I glad I did it?

I would change ANYTHING

And the same goes for your business, career, physique, health – whatever it is

If you want ‘it’, and I mean TRULY want it, you are going to have to put in the hard yards

But I’ll tell you this

You will look back on the journey FONDLY when you get there

That, and I don’t want to be on my death bed thinking ‘what i’…

Would you?

Dan, aged 35, November 2015

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What do you think of this:

PIZZA & PRODUCTIVITY….if I built it, would you come?

So I’ve been musing

2020?

An interesting year so far… 🙃

One thing I put on my own personal ‘danifesto’ was to being people together more

I’ve mapped out a few ideas, but kept coming back to this:

1. I like spending 4-6 hours with groups of people
2. I like pizza
3. I like getting shit done

Now due to the fact I shamelessly talk to everyone, I’ve befriended a local cafe biz who I swapped some meal prep for biz advice

We get on
It’s a cool venue
They have dedicated pizza ovens
There’s lots of space but not so much it’s too much
The pizzas are RIDIK

I believe in serving and longer term vision (the latter now thanks to the cartoon…) and here’s the seeds of the idea

1. Once a month I hold a ‘Pizza & Productivity’ session
2. Thinking will be Wednesday, 5/6pm kick off and will be in Portishead (it’s near Bristol UK
3. We get shit done. Eat pizza. Network. Go home with a plan (and yes there’s vegan options!)

Price wise had two musings

Sub £50 if you are willing to do some form of testimonial/post for CWD/the session/EWD/my book etc….

…probably double if you aren’t

All profits go to charity

(And yes I **could** do it for free, but quite frankly people don’t value free shit so a few quid invested in YOU helps others AND yourself)

Now when I do posts like this I always get ‘if love to come but I live in X’

Well, we may come to ‘X’ one day – but when I was starting out I travelled 56,000 miles across the UK, Europe and America

So yes, effort would be required – BUT I also have logic in this

When you travel HOME, that’s when the next bit of the magic happens

You subconscious will do it’s thing and your mind will be POPPING

The ideas, clarity and breakthroughs you get AFTER our time together are just as valuable as the ones in the session

(And I’ll show you how to maximise it and give you some tools to use as well)

This is not a thing yet

If you want it to be; you need to TELL me – and that’s what the comments below are are for

Let me know your musings; if enough of you are prepared to do this?

I’ll do what I need to do (can even get the goat to do shuttle runs from the station…I’ll make him wear a hat 🤣)

Lemme know

Dan

PS i really really love pizza, and FYI if I ever meet anyone wearing what I’ve posted in comment one (plus a few more criteria haha you know me)

I’d probably marry them on sight 🤣

PPS I won’t be cooking the pizza lol

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When was the last time you did this

1. Had an idea
2. 80/20’d it
3. Said ‘fuck it’ and just DID

?!

I had someone very successful DM me on IG yesterday saying they admired what I have done and how did I do it

Of course a mixture of:

– self development
– network
– coaching/mentoring/courses
– books
– learn from experts and my own mistakes

But the main thing I do

Is I just DO

There’s LOADS of stuff that I’ve tried that doesn’t work; but I still gave it a go

And plenty does work

– this group
– HTBFA
– my gyms
– my copy and marketing agencies (back in the day)
– 9’s and 10’s 😏

You have to TRY

People aren’t talking about you as much as you think they have their own shit to handle 😘

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There’s nothing worse than getting aroused and then not being able to ‘finish’

Conversely

Would you rather have a good experience or a half arsed one that your companion isn’t into?

I’d much rather a good one

Hence I’m asking a favour from you

Seems this week, lots of you have massively resonated with my stories from my past

If you havent read them so far, part 1, 2 & 3 are here:

Losing it all –
Part 1 https://www.facebook.com/groups/coffeewithdan/permalink/2459878084130510/

Hungry and hating life –
Part 2 https://www.facebook.com/groups/coffeewithdan/permalink/2461852747266377/

The lowest point –
Part 3 https://www.facebook.com/groups/coffeewithdan/permalink/2463808823737436/

Now as promised the final part will – I hope – be a massive pay off for you

I went to london to reconnect with a part of my life – and a part of myself – that I had lost touch with

But I was struggling

There was an element that I was torn between sharing or not

Some of you will judge me
Some of you will resonate

– that’s ultimately going to be down to you and your filter –

So like I did earlier this week I went for a walk

And this?

This inspired the ‘missing piece’ for the finale to my ‘RECONNECTION’ series

(I think it’s going to be some of the best content I’ve written for a while)

I have what I need

But I need something from you

This?

Will
All
Make
Sense

I promise

It’s how I can wrap this up in a way that’s valuable to you and your business

This isn’t ‘engagement hacking’ (ugh)…

This isn’t laziness on my part…

This is simply me wanted to honour the 1000’s of you that have read my post and the 80a+ DM’s I’ve received

I owe you my best

And I need your help – and a bit of time – to give you my best

So the favour?

Simple

Inspired by this woodland discovery:

‘What wish, if it came true, would make you truly happy’

I don’t care what it is

Money
Health
Looks
Fame
Prowess
Power

I just want to know what – if you chucked a coin down this well – what you think would make you truly happy

(Can even be as ridiculous as being a famous celebrity type or have a foot long ‘sausage’ – whatever’s good for you)

ITS YOUR WISH

what is it?

Don’t low ball it

If you have limiting beliefs around what you think you deserve/want/can have

For this?

Park them if you can

You want it – thinks it’s the thing you want – I wanna hear it

Go nuts

And you could let me know what it is by Sunday night?

Then part #4 can be completed Monday….I think when you read it you will see it’s worth the wait

As well as that, any feedback, comments, breakthroughs or musings on the previous 3?

I’d be greatful to hear them

Once again, thank you for your time

😘

Dan

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What’s new with you?

Hey CWDers, I was taking a browse through the introductions post the other day and it dawned on me

That thread has been up and running since waaaaay back in 2015

And some of you were here right back when if all began

Whether you’ve been here for almost 5 years or not quite 5 days, chances are there’s been plenty of changes happening in your world.

In fact the biz you were running, starting up or even just thinking about when you wrote your intro could be nothing like the one you’re running now.

Time for an update?

Drop a comment below to let us know

– Who you are

– What you do and who you do it for

– What you love about what you do

– What would make what you do even more awesome

You never know there could be someone else here who needs what you have to offer

Plus

The more I know about where you’re at right now, the more I can tailor content and challenges to what you need

Win
Win
Win

Just the way we like it 😉

Speaking of tailored content,

A short while back I did a content series covering 5 key areas that really move the needle in your busines

AKA the 5 Pillars of Fucking Awesomeness

It was some of my best content covering:

Copywriting: How to improve your copy so you generate more leads and sales online AND offline.

​Mindset: How to keep powering forward whatever life throws at you – because life WILL bend you over from time to time

Health & Fitness: If you’re out of shape with fuck all energy your confidence, happiness and business suffers. Let’s change that.

Skill Development: How to break out of bright shiny object syndrome, choose courses that work and actually get shit implemented

​Productivity: My personal productivity systems for getting shit done without getting buried in work
And it WOULD have got lost in the abyss of Facebook

…if we hadn’t got it transformed into a 60 page PDF which is yours to keep absolutely free.

What you need to do to get your hands on it is head on over to www.coffeewithdan.com/5pillars

Drop your email in the form and you’ll get a copy in your inbox within 5 mins

You’ll also get onto the CWD email list if you aren’t already which means you’ll get access to the content I send out there that isn’t seen anywhere else.

Here’s that link again

www.coffeewithdan.com/5pillars

Head on over and request access then pop back here to give us an update on whats happening in your world

By the time you’ve written your re-introduction, the PDF will be ready and waiting in your inbox

Looking forward to re-meeting loads of you and meeting some of you for the first time

Dan

P.S. We have a rather useful bot that’s specific to CWD

You can ask it Q’s, get stuff and you also get notified of the free trainings, content, webinars and offer we do at times

We are very much NOT spammy with it, but it stops you missing out on the good stuff:

Here’s the link https://m.me/coffeewithdan?ref=jointhebot

And your added

Oh and – because I admire cheekiness but not spammy ways – no opt inlinks/sales pages/groups etc

If your good? They will find you – as well I 😘

Right hope that all makes sense – feel free to add me/follow me as me (Dan – my personal profile) on FB or @therealdanmeredith on IG…my stories are wild 😉

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2 Years sober today

Lessons from ditching the demon I never thought I’d live without, if I even lived at all

Two years ago, and maybe a few hours from posting this, I drank my last alcoholic drink

To say that alcohol had featured heavily in my life is, somewhat, of an understatement

For those that have followed me for a while?

You will likely be familiar with elements of this story

But theres some bits that I’ve been reticent to share – but I cant preach what I don’t pratice can I?

So yes, there may be some who are turned off by what I say

– and thats cool –

But equally it might help out a peep or two; and thats a fair price to pay

Before I dive in, I’ll explain the picture later as this is the 2nd year I’ve used the pic in the above left of me on the bike – and it has meaning to this post (many of you know her…)

For now?

Im going to try and explain why this is such a big deal for me – and as the story goes on – I hope it will begin to make more sense and be valuable to you as well

(This has taken a few days to write, there may be some randomness as we go along but I think it comes together nicely at the end)

Shall we then?

Lets

Now I’ve always drunk since my teens; I was a naturally shy and quiet kid (really!) and I wanted to be fun like the other kids and less quiet

Alcohol – it turned out – was that magical elixir that seemed to do it for me and had been a passenger to most, if not all, of my social gatherings

And I turned out Dan could drink a LOT!

I was very much the ‘life of the party’ and even though I could put it away?

I could be relied on to get the party started

Sure, I did some dumb shit

But nothing bad, no fights, no nasty stuff

Just fuckery and saying stupid things TBH

Never really thought I had a problem, and didn’t really until I started to become a thing

It started off fairly innocuous

I started the agency (marketing/copy/funnels etc for the fitness/supplements industry)

Before I knew it had scaled it up to mid/high $6-figures and was ‘on the tools’ for maybe a 1/2 day a week

– we were good, and yes that really was it –

So I drank because I was bored

And because I was lonely (I’ll be coming back to that theme bit later, and more than once as I meander along with the prose)

My partner at the time was a dancer – quite famous in her world – and was away on tours and what have you

So I was on my own a lot with nothing but my mind for company

What started at a few drinks to end an evening…

…routinely ended up being a bottle of grey goose every night

(Ive never had a hangover and when I discovered ‘The Goose’ it was – for my body – a victimless crime)

Sadly myself and my partner at the time broke up due to my own BS and I thought I needed to escape so literally packed a single back pack and fucked off from Somerset to Brighton to start a new life by the seaside

The fresh start WAS amazing, but I found if harder and harder that I was a ‘thing’ as time went on

(Looking back just running away from shizzle and not dealing with it eh?)

This random little bearded nugget of a human had sold 100’s of thousands of books and the sheer amount of kind messages and emails and what have you – to be totally honest – overwhelmed me

I mean, I had one person who had planned to tap out and they got an email about my audiobook and were listening to it AS THEY WERE PREPARING

My book saved their life

It messed with my head

Hence the drinking got earlier and I’d sometimes ‘top up’ with a 1/2 bottle of gin

Now you might be thinking:

‘boo hoo, look at the poor beardy man getting all sad over being successful’

Ya know what?

TOTALLY with you on that one

I used to se successful people and when they had issues or whatever I was like

‘Fuck em, they got money’

But you know what

If you don’t like who you are, are lonely as fuck and – honestly – couldn’t give a shit if you saw another day

Ya start to feel sympathy not for what they have done but for the fact they are human

I had all these people saying I had changed their lives – 100’s of 1000’s

And there I was

Seemingly most nights (if I hadn’t passed out by this point)

Sat on the floor in my living room with the same headphones Im wearing now on crying my eyes out – downing neat gin – with zero fucks about if I saw the next day

Why?

Because all those years of drinking was my coping mechanism to deal with the fact that I never, ever felt good enough or worthy of anything

I felt like I was NO ONE

Love?

Haha Dan fuck you no one will ever love you

Friends?

No one gives a shit about you ya bearded twat, your only as much use as you can do for someone

So thats what I began to believe

Yes I had an amazing family/team/mentor (more on them later, as they feature prominently)

But when you dont feel anything towards your own existence bar what you can do for others, you begin to just stop caring about yourself

I showed up
I made a difference
I did the work
I changed lives
People got paid
Everyone got what they wanted

As long as I worked?

I was useful

So thats what I focussed on, doing what I could to make others lives better – my logic being back then that my life isn’t particularly important; so as long as I make a difference to OTHERS lives then It was, technically, a worthwhile life

I mean, I had a couple of little mini-heart attacks and I wasn’t even bothered

Still remember being covered in electrodes (I took selfies, theres a post or two around) and more concerned with and more bothered abut the fact I was running out of battery and would be stuck there with nothing to do…

Mad eh?

But thats the thing when you are trapped in this spiral of self destruction, you tend to only think about yourself

The gratitude I have for my family, mentor, team, some close friends I dont know If my words can do it justice

It had me locked into a selfish, destructive downward spiral that made me – looking back – a fucking asshole at times

Alcohol had me in its grips and I just didn’t care

I ruined my mentors summer and nearly drove him insane m with endless calls in between manic highs and crippling tear drenched lows…

My family had to see me beat myself up – literally – as I was in such a destructive and sad place with only my sister giving me a cuddle stopping me…

My poor team would lose me days as I would go off on a bender…

(I cant ever thank them enough for sticking with me)

I had no idea why They did, but they didn’t leave me and I am very lucky to have them all in my life still

Sadly though some took this opportunity to attack, poison, back stab and go to TOWN trying to destroy me

Funny who steps up when you need it the most?

People I had been there for, pretty much created businesses for, people I classed as friends?

Had literally done everything they could to destroy my business and reputation – I didn’t find this out until some time after the event

That hurt you know

Yes I was a mess at times, and sure I had done some dumb shit

But the screenshots I was sent, fucking killed me inside

If I hadn’t made the vow Im about to tell you about?

I reckon it would of seen me off for good

Which brings me back to the picture

Top left?

Thats DucatiBAE

Now this is gonna sound weird – and only a few know this – but I wanted to share as recently I had to decide If I was going to sell her or not

(I’m quite a good biker now and the power and speed of her I’ve simply outgrown a bit)

This night 2 years ago I had conversations with people I love and respect – hard, tearful, painful ones

I made a promise

Not a promise – a vow

I was done with alcohol

Not for a month
Not for 90 days
Not for 6 months

Forever
Done
Good

I had some great help and support during this period, but I said I was gonna get a bike so I (still a bit tipsy on what would be tomorrow morning) got a taxi to the dealership

And bought DucatiBAE there and then

(Don’t worry I didn’t ride her home, she was delivered a few days later)

She saved my life

I remember patting her on the tank in the store and said

‘You don’t kill me, I wont drink again’

She didn’t
I haven’t

Thats why – no matter what – I can never sell her

I wanted to share that because I know my love of motorcycles seems a bit OTT but it gives me a sense of happiness and peace that alcohol never gave me

Now we are getting a bit off topic here, so we are gonna go back in time for bit, then forward

Dex did this post a year and a bit ago

https://www.facebook.com/10164802…/posts/10214613432782295/…

Ya know all I’ve ever wanted?

Was to be happy

And asking for help to be happy was kinda fucking hard

But I did

You see, I’ve done some pretty crazy things from partying in the playboy mansion….to flying in a first class cabin on a party jet…to being in VIP suites in vegas partying with models…

…and some crazy, filthy, probably dangerous, very ridiculous shit in-between

Ive done all the things that I thought would make me happy

– money
– women
– alcohol
– VIP life
– watches
– toys
– experiences

Literally every thing that I wanted to do and experience – I’d done – yet I didnt feel any happier deep down

WTF eh?

Hence drink became my ‘go to’ whenever the nights used to draw in and Iw as lets with my own thoughts

^^ and here we have the rub

My own thoughts

I have what I have and I manage it well (the hypomania)

Its good now

But it wasn’t for a long time

But the idea of BEING LEFT ALONE WITH MY OWN THOUGHTS was fucking terrifying

For weeks and weeks I used to make myself exhausted and run podcasts from 8pm all night until I passed out – sober – but distracted

Before long, I simply couldn’t keep this up

So I was forced to do the work on me that – honestly – I dont think I’d ever done

Why dont I feel worthy of love
Why dont I think I have any friends
Why dont I care if I’m here or not
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why

Honestly some of the most painful shit I’ve experienced and as hard as it was? Its perhaps the most worthwhile thing Ive ever done

I couldn’t of done it without my family, mentor, close team/friends ad a few special humans who (when others jumped ship) stepped up

You know who you are in both categories – and Im grateful for both

Because it showed me that even though there are some truly shitty humans on this planet, there are some amazing ones that are worth their weight in gold

And with the right ones around you?

You can get through all manner of shit

As you can see, a bit of a merry go round of a story – highs and lows, here and there

I think it makes sense, and I hope you got something out of it

That me?

That me that wanted to destroy himself because he didnt feel good enough…

Still shows his head time to time – I’ll never believe my own hype – but I have it in control now, it doesn’t control me

Which is kinda cool

I’ve learned to be kinder to myself and love myself?

Well, I’m only two years sober

Baby steps eh

🙂

Me clearly avoiding the subject aside, I’ve learned a fuck tonne about me and life and business in general through this journey

And as you can see on the pictures, theres a happier less fucked up Dan

Im closer to my family than ever before (Ive always loved them to bits) but see them all the time and especially since Ive been sober Anna has both broker her neck and had a liver tumour removed – and Dad has survived cancer

I was able to step up when needed, and be there for my family as they have been there for me

Alcohol was such a crutch it seemed

Ive had some of the hardest, most painful, challenging 2 years of my life – and although it hasn’t ben easy

It hasn’t broken me either

Ive been able to deal with shit and get shit done, its amazing what you can do when you don’t buy your head in the sand and just deal with shit eh?

That and I have a job I love

I don’t have to do things/buy stuff/go places to either try make me feel happy to impress people

I am – in essence – a quiet kid who likes nature, the sea, his family, motorbikes, books and orange fudge

I like making people happy
I want to make a difference
I actually do give a shit about others

If that makes me a bit soft?

Then so be it

Im a bit soft

(Most of you fucking know it anyways lol)

Ive got a loving family, a great team, a brilliant/batshit mentor, a nice home, the toys I need, and a job I love

Not bad eh?

That and look how happy I am in the bottom pics; loving life and getting to help epic peeps

The loneliness I mentioned earlier?

Still there – but Im getting better at combatting it; and in a position (with my network & CWD) to be able to do soemthing about it

– which is my big plan for 2020 –

I haven’t done a mammoth post in ages, Im sure theres some waffle, grammatical fuckery and randomness in this

But thats me

🙂

(And In my defence felled by man flu today so im kinda fucked and wrote this over a few days….I did my best!)

In closing?

Life can change – if you want it too – but you cant do it alone

I never thought I’d be able to not only kick the drink, but deal with the shit that made me want to numb myself to life

I managed it

And I am NO ONE special

If life isn’t where you want it to be right now?

Try not to panic

It can, and if you ask for help and just be fucking honest with yourself that you aint 100% right now you CAN change

Yes there are some total cunts (and I never use that word, but what some people did to me was pretty awful) in the world

But there are even more people that are fucking awesome who will go to bat for you and help you when you need it the most

No need to tag anyone, you know who you are and I fucking love you

(That and theres too many, I am behind grateful)

Life is for living ladies and gentlemen, and if the last two years have taught me anything?

Is that many of the ‘riches’ you seek?

Are within your grasp

You just have to put out your hand

Thank you for reading, and for being a part – no matter how big or small – in my life

x

Dan

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