13 May

UGSD 3 of 4: How To Handle Anything

by DanM in Blog Post No Comments

Question? Are you gonna commit to reading this post and putting ideas into action?

Once again, drop the word “reading” in the comments before you continue…

Yesterday’s post – once Facebook decided it was finally going to play ball – was all about getting yourself out that funk where things are okay, but they’re not great.

Those times when life’s just a little bit too plain sailing

Where things are so smooth it takes that edge it takes that fire.

It takes the feeling of having your back against the wall.

So you don’t have that great drive and desire to really smash it.

Oh, how lucky we would be if life was always that way.

Even with the best plans, the best intentions, the best skills, the best prep

EVERYTHING in place to make you a success.

Something comes up,

It could be something small.

It could be something huge.

It could be something in your control

or it could be something completely out of your hands.

Ting is

If you don’t have ways of dealing with things

Whether its internal in your head physical out there in the world.

If you don’t have some think in place that helps you deal with it, it’s going to knock you back

It’s going to take away that consistency, momentum, drive and passion from you.

And

if you get enough knock backs.

If you get hit enough times

Eventually you’re gonna go down for good.

Let’s face it, you are human

And being human.

That is only so much you can take.

And it’s through not having pathways out of those setbacks.

By not having ways to get around things like those you

By not having the tools to deal with the mindset issues that crop up time and time again.

this the reason why so many great people with a whole heap of good to offer to the world don’t get anywhere.

So that’s what today’s post is all about.

It’s about how you can deal with anything that life throws at you

what to put in place

systems

support,

how you handle yourself and how you can keep on going no matter what comes up.

And finally

how to take any of those negative feelings

the fear

the rage

the spite

the overwhelm,

Turn them around on their head and use them to you your advantage

Let’s dig in.

– have a support network

Think you can just go it alone?

Deal with everything that life’s gonna throw at you and just brush it off.

Keep on putting it under the rug

it’s okay

you’re okay

it’s no big deal

just crack on with it.

Good luck with that one.

If you try and do it alone You’re an idiot.

Yet, it’s something that we have a habit of trying to do.

We try to just deal with our problems

We are the problem solvers after all

We try to find the answer find a way find the way forward figure it all out.

Because if we don’t, who will?

We convince ourselves that it’s not a big deal

We can handle it

That other people have got bigger problems

And if we just keep on pushing will find a way

So we push and we push and we push until we break down

And none of that is necessary

The thing is

On top of thinking that we should be able to deal with everything.

That we should be smart enough

That we should have it all handled because hey, everyone else does

On top of all that

We beat ourselves up and we put ourselves down and we just don’t think we’re worth it.

We don’t think that we are worthy of help.

We don’t think that we deserve to be cared about.

We don’t think that we deserve support

because

We think that’s our job

and our job alone.

Nobody should do that for us.

So it can be so hard to ask for help

share the load.

delegate

and we take on more a more a more

we carry a bigger weight on our shoulders

and I’m telling you now

if you carry that weight

if you keep on adding more and more stuff without getting any help without having any support without having people to help you figure things out,

it’s going to break you.

It’s just inevitable.

Some point somewhere along the line that way is just going to get too much and it’s going to absolutely crush you.

The alternative is getting a support network in place

Support inside your business and sport outside of business because both sides are just important

and both areas are areas where you’re going to have things come up.

You’re gonna have problems, you’re going to have issues

Having the right support in place to actually be provide practical help, smart guidance, emotional support and different ideas is key to seeing you through whatever comes up.

That is the key to not breaking under the weight and the pressure and stress and all of the things that you’ve got going on in your life.

I have said it before and I’l said it again

Each hit takes its toll.

And you get to the point where even the little ones, just the little tiny things are enough to set things off.

You don’t want to get to that stage.

So here’s what you need today.

First up,

you’ve actually got to be able to get support.

Because right now if you’ve not got it in your life, the chances are that part of that is down to you thinking that you’re not worthy of help

Before you get thinking of who that can be whatever you need support and what its gonna look like.

The first thing you need to do is realize that yes, asking for help is something I really need to do. And getting the help is something that I’m worth having.

And it’s hard believe me I know it is hard

Because asking for help

shows a little vulnerability.

It also means you reach the realization that things aren’t so great

It can be scary to admit to yourself,

Let alone to anyone else

To let them see the crack in the armor.

The imperfection

Believe me

When you’ve got the right people around you

letting them in

letting them support and

letting them feel valuable

does wonderful things

and yes

you are worth help.

So what exactly does help look like and what kind of support network should you be looking to put in place?

There’s 2 sides to it.

Practical support and mental/emotional support.

Some people will be able to provide both kinds.

Others will be a case of one or the other.

Take an a4 piece of paper and turn it sideways.

Top half – practical

Bottom half – ideas and emotional

Split it into columns for business, relationships, family, mindset, health etc.

Basically every area of your life

And give them a score out of 5 for how well you’re supported emotionally and practically in those areas.

What you want to go to want to do is look where your low scores lie. 1’s and 0’s

There will be a reason for those gaps.

Those gaps will show the areas but you probably avoided

Are you completely on your own in those areas?

If you are, that’s something that you’re going to want to address.

Beyond that

Take some notes with a little detail of the support you have and what you can do to improve things or simply strengthen your relationships with those who support you.

– systems and back ups

Now we’ve covered the people you want to have around you – now it’s on to the things to get in place.

So that things – for the most part – can continue on the way they should no matter what happens.

For this you need systems.

This does not people you need all the tech in the wold and have automations doing everything.

#ThankFuck

What I mean by having systems is knowing what’s supposed to happen, when it’s supposed to happen and what to do when things fuck up.

It’s about knowing your MED (Minimum Effective Dose) which is basically the things that if everything that could go wrong is going wrong and there’s only a couple of things you can do – these are the things that you absolutely must do.

It’s about having multiple marketing channels incase one goes down (I’m looking at you Facebook)

Getting an account set up with multiple payment merchancte, stripe, square, and more – in case one you use decides to put a hold on your account.

It’s about backing up your email database so you can transfer to another platform and don’t risk losing it if your current gets shut down.

It’s about knowing that if you get into a slump – this is what you need to do to pull yourself out.

If your cashflow gets tight – this is what you can put out to get some quick cash in.

Again I want you to take a piece of paper and brain dump all the shit that can go wrong in your life, business and relationships.

Then next to each one drop down an idea/ action plan to help minimise or eliminate the issue.

It doesn’t have to be complicated but it can really save your ass.

– Finding the positive in the negative

I have consciously decided to spend a lot more time on my own without electronic devices, people or any form of stimulus and aggressively work on my thoughts

Everything from triggers to limiting beliefs to self-sabotaging behaviours I have gone through each and every fucking and examined why I do the things I do and ask one simple question

Does this serve me?

Whereas before I wouldnít even consider the positive effects of what I perceive as negative ëstuffí, thanks to the time I have spent on my own?

Now I do

So what lessons have I taken from this painful journey

For starters I have learned that you can ALWAYS find a positive even if it FEELS negative, and you will get what you focus on

Now I mentally walk through and WRITE DOWN (this is key btw) all the positive things that have come from the encounter, issue, relationship – whatever it is

And when I find myself on a little negative feedback loop?

I have have them on my notes on my phone and if I find something shitty bubbling up with regards too whatever situation it may be?

I just read the corresponding note

Another thing I have found is that pain IS temporary IF you take action; donít get me wrong when life throws you a curveball you are allowed to feel crap and throw yourself a little pity party..

But ONLY a little one and ONLY for a little whileÖ.

After that? The KEY thing to getting over setbacks is ACTION

Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself doesnít do shit, and as hard as it may be? What you need to be is DOING and NOT thinking in times like this. Brilliantly, the more action you take the better you tend to feel as time goes on

Finally, learn to not only embrace painÖbut CHASE it

This may sounds rather fucked up, but I am just putting to bed a great book, ëPrinciplesí by Ray Dalio, and he has a simple equation

PAIN + REFLECTION = PROGRESS

It may seem sadistic to chase painful situations, and without reflection and subsequent course correction

It is

But we can learn a lot from failed business venturesÖ

Our pride and joy products floppingÖ

Relationships and friendships falling by the waysideÖ

Failing at things we knew, just KNEW that we would win at but didnítÖ

Because most people do anything to avoid pain, I know I did for many a year – far too fucking long to be honest

Now I embrace it for what it is

I know I donít want to experience it again, so I learn what I did wrong to ensure (to the best of my abilities) that it doesnít happen again

That and I see it as like weight lifting, the more you experience over time AND get though the other side, the more that ëdealing-with-pain-muscleí grows and the stronger and stronger you get until one dayÖ

Öyouíre in pleasure

– having a toolbox of strategies

As you know, you can’t stop life from coming at you with a hit.

All you can do is your best to stop the shit you cause yourself from coming your way.

Your best?

Not always good enough

And then there’s plenty of shit life throws at you that is completely out of control.

You can’t prevent life from coming at you.

What you can do is prepare for it the best you can and have a selection of tools you can whip out at a moments notice to help you navigate the fuckery.

And

With the right set of tools

You can go beyond simply scrapping your way through life by the skin of your teeth.

To actually using the negative to propel you forward.

This is something I have used in EVERY area of life.

Few examples..

Was deeply unhappy with my looks and build, so I got hugely into fitness then personal training then gym ownership then fitness copywriting

A negative

Into a positive

Was quite isolated and lonely when I started out as an entrepreneur, so set up a virtual coffee shop – aka ëCoffee With Daní; which as you know has become quite the thingÖ

A negative

Into a positive

Some more?

Was told I was shit at Rugby – so I worked harder and played for my university at the national level

(I wasn’t necessarily any good but I was still on the pitch haha)

I had the ‘I don’t think you will make it’ head shit when I went into the corporate world and told I would be sacked EVERY DAY if I didn’t hit my call targets – ended up being #2 (only lost out to an MD) out of 6000 head-hunters UK and Europe world

Someone laughed at me when I started out at the gym, so ended up doing (really) a modelling shoot at 6.4% body fat and competed in powerlifting

Was told (due to some inherited traits from Big Papa Nige) that my writing wasnít good enough to earn from – well fuck you Iíll write a bestselling book and get PAID for my words

Anyways I share the above – all true – from my life, as everything truly fucking awesome I have worked forÖ

BUT, it has been harnessing the power of spite and rage and sadness and envy that has given me the explosive fuel to do the work (either on myself or externally) that has given me most of what I have

Yet hardly anyone talks about it

And I don’t see almost anyone showing you how to leverage this ‘dark energy’ for extreme good and massive life changes

And in 2018/2019 I went all in on this concept…and this happened

  • An additional £118,050 in profit OUTSIDE of my current businesses, in new markets and not previously done before
  • Dropped 13lbs, stopped smoking (I started only this last year due to stress), quit junk food
  • Rekindled a very important relationship, removed 3 toxic ones with my ‘satisfaction’ score (Iíll explain that shortly) being 7/8 out of 10 most days
  • Consistently get 6-8 hours sleep, and the quality of which has improved (compared to 3-5 fractured)
  • Launched one new business venture in a new vertical, and have mapped out two new ones in competitive markets which will be launching later this summer
  • Have taken control my life even further; with new systems and structure for my days that gives me more mental clarity and freedom than before
  • Grown as a leader for my team creating new opportunities for my core team WITHOUT negative impact or emotional strain

IT

HAS

CHANGED

MY

LIFE

And this January – after months of refining – I revealed everything I know about harnessing the darkness

Their results?

100K+ deals closed

Toxic relationships terminated

Businesses finally launched

Egos ditched and powerful connections made

People FINALLY experiencing freedom from the shitty thoughts they had and turning it into life changing ACTION

Unreal

Look, I have done this for a long time right?

People got results

People got breakthroughs

People experienced changes

People made shit happen

GRIT: RED Edition (for me) is the simplest system I know to:

– overcome your own bullshit, limiting beliefs and ëhead trashí

– get a handle on your situation, OWN it and FIX it FAST

– leverage the dark thoughts and energy that you have for GOOD and POSITIVE outcomes in your life

– quite the negative people and traits and actions that hold you back and fuck you up

– MAKE YOUR LIFE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE (if you are prepared to face a few harsh truths THEN turn that into action)

NO

MORE

ACCEPTING

SECOND

BEST

When I came up with the concept of GRIT: RED it had to be:

1. Simple

2. Easy to action

3. Something that I could realistically stick to (with all my other commitments)

4. Would allow me to (eventually) see massive positive changes on not only my life, but those I served, interacted with and employed

5. Allow me to be a better human, live a better life, be happier, wealthier and healthier (both physically and mentally)

So thatís what I created

A simple system that (I think) anyone can follow but more importantly helped me understand why I did the things I did, and what I could realistically do to control them, so:

I tried

I failed

I tested

Over and over and fucking over again until I got the ërecipeí just right

That recipe?

Is GRIT:RED

Now as you can probably tell from the energy and enthusiasm from my words, I believe in the so strongly that this product I believe is going to be one of the most transformational and powerful programmes I have created thus far

(I believe it will surpass the success and sales of my post popular ever training, the original ëGRITí)

I am PROUD AS FUCK of this

And for those of you that want me to show you how to do what Iíve done, and how YOU can harness your darkness to create nothing but light

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

The cost for all of that?

A one time investment of only £195

https://coffeewithdan.com/rededition

In closing: if you are finally ready to take ownership of your life, quit making excuses and do all that you can to make 2019 YOUR year and also me to show you EVERYTHING I have learned to change my life – and hopefully yours

NOW is the time

If you have ANY questions about the course?

Send me a DM & I will be happy to answer

Ultimately you only have one roll of the dice, so why NOT have all you feel you deserve and be free of the thoughts and actions that have held you back

If not?

The principles I have outline above when you harness negative energy to LAUNCH THE ROCKET…then pivot into positivity

You can change your world fast
Dan

DanM

Wirte, Blogger, Entrepreneur.

how to be f*cking awesome

BE F*CKING AWESOME, LIVE LIFE
ON YOUR OWN TERMS, MAKE A
DIFFERENCE, AND BE TRULY FULFILLED

#BEMOREDAN

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